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puppetmakerThe Topic for the week:
Whose LJ is it anyway? Balancing personal expression and friends-list sensibilities in determining content.
Which I am putting behind a cut to save my friends list.
This is a topic I have been thinking about for a while now for a number of reasons. I have a pretty extensive list of people that I keep up with via their web log and they keep up with me through mine.
I started by web log to keep my parents and close friends apprised of what I was up to and what Caroline was doing since she was changing from day to day. The place where my original web log was and still is runs off my husband's site. He started his web log while I was still pregnant with Caroline. He even had a contest for the readers as to when she would be born and how much she would weigh and her gender (which we did not know beforehand).
I knew early on that my web log was going to be read by people I have never met or only knew from my encounters with them on the Internet. Because of my husband's regular column in Comic Buyers Guide, I had gotten use to the fact that people remember things he wrote about that concerned our lives. And I knew what I wrote would also be remembered by people that I might met at a convention or other social situations. So I have always been a self-censor while typing things that go out into the Internet. I know that whatever I put here could come back and bite me on the rump.
I got on Live Journal because my younger sister (my only sister) had one and it was an easy way to keep up with her. I found out that other friends were here as well and pretty soon I had a friends list made up of people I knew. Then I started adding friends of friends that I liked to read. And friends of friends added me to their list. I have never hid who I was and who I was married to nor did I make a big deal about it. And eventually some people who were fans of his added me usually after asking me it was OK. I added people I met in communities that I enjoyed reading and it blossomed from there.
Now I had hit a point where I had quite a number of people reading me that I didn't know. And I made a decision to put a couple of layers on my live journal. I don't have too many entries that are friends only. A lot of those are memes that I just want to share with people who have taken the time to add me to their reading list. But there is not much I have put out here that I don't mind that others know. I do have a private list for things that I need to put out of my head. I also have a paper journal that I use for my "brain dumps".
Things I try to avoid are profanity (I tend to use slang or fake words), offending the various religions of the people who read this (which can be walking a tightrope), and politics (because I have seen what it does to my husband's board). But those who know me probably have a pretty good feel where I stand on things. Most people know I am an ardent defender of the 1st amendment along with my husband. They know that I am an old school Whovian along with a number of other fandoms. People know my love of puppetry and doll making and costuming.
I have adjusted to being a rather public person. I can even speak to a large group and not feel uncomfortable which was not always true. I look at my web log as speaking to a large group of people and adjust what I say accordingly. So it's my spot on the web and I'll say what I want to. I don't force anyone to read it nor do I get upset if someone decides that my web log is not their cuppa and so far that has worked well for me.
Whose LJ is it anyway? Balancing personal expression and friends-list sensibilities in determining content.
Which I am putting behind a cut to save my friends list.
This is a topic I have been thinking about for a while now for a number of reasons. I have a pretty extensive list of people that I keep up with via their web log and they keep up with me through mine.
I started by web log to keep my parents and close friends apprised of what I was up to and what Caroline was doing since she was changing from day to day. The place where my original web log was and still is runs off my husband's site. He started his web log while I was still pregnant with Caroline. He even had a contest for the readers as to when she would be born and how much she would weigh and her gender (which we did not know beforehand).
I knew early on that my web log was going to be read by people I have never met or only knew from my encounters with them on the Internet. Because of my husband's regular column in Comic Buyers Guide, I had gotten use to the fact that people remember things he wrote about that concerned our lives. And I knew what I wrote would also be remembered by people that I might met at a convention or other social situations. So I have always been a self-censor while typing things that go out into the Internet. I know that whatever I put here could come back and bite me on the rump.
I got on Live Journal because my younger sister (my only sister) had one and it was an easy way to keep up with her. I found out that other friends were here as well and pretty soon I had a friends list made up of people I knew. Then I started adding friends of friends that I liked to read. And friends of friends added me to their list. I have never hid who I was and who I was married to nor did I make a big deal about it. And eventually some people who were fans of his added me usually after asking me it was OK. I added people I met in communities that I enjoyed reading and it blossomed from there.
Now I had hit a point where I had quite a number of people reading me that I didn't know. And I made a decision to put a couple of layers on my live journal. I don't have too many entries that are friends only. A lot of those are memes that I just want to share with people who have taken the time to add me to their reading list. But there is not much I have put out here that I don't mind that others know. I do have a private list for things that I need to put out of my head. I also have a paper journal that I use for my "brain dumps".
Things I try to avoid are profanity (I tend to use slang or fake words), offending the various religions of the people who read this (which can be walking a tightrope), and politics (because I have seen what it does to my husband's board). But those who know me probably have a pretty good feel where I stand on things. Most people know I am an ardent defender of the 1st amendment along with my husband. They know that I am an old school Whovian along with a number of other fandoms. People know my love of puppetry and doll making and costuming.
I have adjusted to being a rather public person. I can even speak to a large group and not feel uncomfortable which was not always true. I look at my web log as speaking to a large group of people and adjust what I say accordingly. So it's my spot on the web and I'll say what I want to. I don't force anyone to read it nor do I get upset if someone decides that my web log is not their cuppa and so far that has worked well for me.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 03:35 pm (UTC)Two days later, my boss called me into his office and gave me a rather stern talking to, telling me that one of my coworkers (whom I trusted) had passed the link around as an amusing anecdote about the client, which got forward to the wrong person, and to him.
I then learned that in the course of two days, nearly every person at work had read as far back in my journal as they could go... personal rants, etc.
That was the first time I locked my journal down tight... and left it locked until I was no longer employed (and needed a wider audience for emotional support).
Not writing anything was stifling, but you are smart to not write at all.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-15 07:09 pm (UTC)This whole Internet thing is rather new to us but will be old hat to our children who are going to be rather savy going in.
Caroline already knows not to tell people where she lives.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-16 05:21 am (UTC)I say that they deserve what's coming to them (because you're told not to give out your address for a reason)
btw: Tell your daughter never to give out her phone number with area code as well ;) People can find where she lives by that way too. And unless you have a common last name like Smith or Jones or whatever, she shouldn't give that out either. And if she has a first name you made up (see: Nackereia), she might not want to give out that either.
The Nackereia thing is a pseudonym I made up for myself, and it works fine, since it's not a real name. However, if it were a real name, it could be linked up with a last name, and even if the last name isn't so common, it could still be linked up with a phone number on a contact sheet or something.
Also: if the 'net is going to be her social life, she should only post in public places that have moderators (read: forums Here's an example of one (http://otcentral.com), though it's quite possibly aimed at an older audience, depending on how old Caroline is).
She needs to *avoid* any and all Chatrooms. Even if they claim they're about Spongebob; they're not. They aren't usually moderated (at least, they weren't when I was 15), and most pedophiles target chat rooms because that's where the stupid children go. The children who don't know that someone who's asking "a/s/l" (Age/sex/location) is probably a raving pedophile claiming to be a young girl, and is looking for a picture of you practically naked and wants to know what *exactly* you do at slumber parties. The children who *don't* know that only psychotic men ask you *exactly* what you do at parties/want to see your underwear (and 14 year old boys who haven't learned that girls don't have wild orgies at slumber parties count as psychotic men in this case).
< /net savvy >
You totally can't tell I've been on the 'net since I was 15, huh? :D
I don't know if it's because my middle school had kids who had learning disorders, or if middle school boys really are psychotic once they get all the horny and notice that girls exist, but dude, they're fucking creepy. I was reading through some of my diaries from being 13, and was reading about how this one boy thought I looked sexy. Maybe I'm a huge prude, or maybe it's because I'm petrified of my own body/sexuality, but that freaked me the hell out. The whole idea that I was hanging around a bunch of horny psychotic boys during middle school just freaks me out. Ugh!! It's like feeling I've been leered at by...by a cross between the 'standard' image for plumber and a 'standard' image of a construction worker with greasy hair. Eww!
I don't think it's fact that the boys were huge horn dogs that's the most scary, though. I think the most scary part was that this all went *over* my head. I'm sitting here now, panicking about all the situations I could've been in simply because I didn't realize that my peers were pedophiles (which, yes, I know you're not a pedophile until you're 18+, but there's no other way to aptly describe people who are turned on by you that just creep you out).
Like, I now know that this one boy had fantasies of me writing all my sexual fantasies in my diary. Which I'm sure I will laugh my ass off at someday, but for now I think I'll continue feeling creeped out/violated. Violated because I don't *want* to be anyone's sexual fantasy, kthanxbye!! Especially anyone that I couldn't even *remotely* begin to have any form of romantic relationship with. Ughhh!!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-16 05:04 am (UTC)I think that's fucking ridiculous. If I were a boss, I'd punish the idiot who passed around the link, not the moron who wrote their private life in public. Simply because the person who wrote their private life in public was not the idiot who passed out the link. I feel that whoever passes out the link around the office is 50 times more worse for doing so than anyone who writes about their job/co-worker on the internet.
I feel that so long as you are not posting to your blog at work (or even during working hours), and you aren't linking to your blog at work (or being really dumb and not changing any names; and I'm not talking about changing the name "Dell" to "Smell," but rather changing the name "Dell" to "large computer/electronc manufacturing chain."), then you should not be held responsible for what's in your blog at work.
Of course, I feel this because I'm 21 and not some stuffy 40 year old (my apologies if you're that stuffy 40 year old. I'm truly sorry you're no long as groovy as me! lol, j/k ;)). What my age really has to do with this, is that I've grown up with the Internetz (even though I didn't have it until I was 15).
I'm a strong believer in the 'if something doesn't affect how you work during office hours, then what does it matter?' type thing. I'm a *huge* believer in bosses not having any say in what employees do on off time (so long as they aren't being really stupid by stating real names of clients, co-workers, the company, other companies, etc. as I've stated earlier). And I'm a huge believer in not being held responsible if someone else outs your blog. Especially if it's obvious that you in no way associated the company with your blog, such as Heather's case.
Last I looked, Heather had a category where you could see the posts that caused her to get fired. It was only obvious if you worked with her what co-worker she was writing about. Otherwise, she never mentioned any names, never mentioned the company (to this day, she refuses to tell people who she worked for, she just says that she worked as a Web Designer in LA...or maybe it was San Fran...oh well, it was California, all the same).
If you're the one that outs your blog, however (either purposely included a URL to it in company email/passing around the URL via company email, or posting online during work hours, even if you're at home legitimately sick/posting online using company resources, etc.), then I feel that you have what's coming to you.
Of course, I'm also a Libra, so I'm big on fairness. Which, I know most of the business world/political world isn't (why else are we putting Americans out of jobs by outsourcing? It's certainly not out of 'fairness').