No Strings Attached

Mr. Lake is a fine illusionist both with big effects and tabletop magic. He kept everyone’s attention. He starts with sawing a lady in half and it ends with a large vanishing act. 

He is a believer in audience participation. I got picked for one trick because I caught a ball. It’s a mindreading trick. I stared at him as he asks and he says “The stare is scaring me.” I didn’t hear it as I was focused on him. Caroline told me what he said afterwards. I didn’t know scaring a magician was on my bucket list but apparently it was.

Rumors were flying that the Muppets were a cameo at the end. Would I have like more Muppets? Sure, but I am a Muppet fan. However, they did a good job of sprinkling the Muppets throughout. Gonzo got to perform some of his art. Kermit helped with a card trick. Fozzie told jokes and tried to get more time to tell jokes. They show up close to the top of the show and end it as well. Rowlf and Animal were under used but they were there. Miss Piggy stole the show of course.

I loved the Muppet bios in the front of the program. 

A lot of people went into the making of this show go smoothly and it did work for me. I walked out entertained. I laughed very hard. I got to see the Muppets and a really good magician.

Just FYI, there is no intermission. It starts at seven pm and you are out about nine-thirty or so. 

I was happy to see names of puppeteers I know in the program. Peter Linz was the puppet captain. I have known Peter for a very long time. He was friends with my brother Sean.

I am grateful I saw “Rob Lake Magic with special guests the Muppets.”

1.    psychological well-being and satisfactory adjustment to society and to the ordinary demands of life.

2.    the field of medicine concerned with the maintenance or achievement of such well-being and adjustment.

Mental Health is a broad topic. Everyone has mental health. Some have good mental health, some have mostly good mental health, some have lousy mental health, and some have the worst mental health.

I have, as I stated before, situational depression, depression, dyslexia, and a hyperactive disorder.

The situation is the passing of Peter and all that comes with that. Before it was my worrying about Peter and his health. That has been going on since he had his first stroke at Disney World in Disney Hollywood studios in front of Sid Cahuenga's. That were we think it started. We don’t stand there anymore. I have drugs to even me out and they are working. Better living through chemistry.

The depression is something I have been dealing with most of my life. It came to a head during my time at the Yale School of Trauma…excuse me…Drama. I was suicidal when everything seemed to come tumbling on my head. I got help there. Both talk therapy and some mental health drugs to get me back to even. I managed to finish my master’s thesis and graduate. 

After that it was an occasional bout with it. I got good at recognizing the symptoms.

There isn’t much I can do about being dyslexic. I have coping skills. I taught myself to read after trying it their way. Because I was such a good reader, I was listed as a lazy speller. No one realized what was going on with me until college where my freshman English teacher ran studies in dyslexia. He figured out after I turned in three essays in my class. I got tested and was found to be very dyslexic. Made parts of my life make new sense. Left and right have very little meaning to me. If I can think hard, I can sort it out. North, South, East, and West had no meaning until I move here with Peter. South is the shore. North is opposite from south. If I am facing North, East is to my right and West is to my left. Sunrises and Sunsets taught me that. North star can also sort me out. 

ADHD is a new one but makes sense considering some of my behaviors. I had to take a lot of tests for me to be diagnosed. My case is mild, but it does, at times, effect my life. It is something my therapist and I are working on. Now I can recognize when I am falling into patterns I need to get out of. This is another disorder I am taking drugs for, and they have helped a lot. 

I have no idea how long I am going to be on my medications. I know a couple are in the rest of my life category. Eventually I will stop some medications because I don’t need them anymore. I look forward to that day.

I encourage people to check in on their mental health. And for anyone really depressed, it is not weakness to ask for help. 

We must stop the stigma of depression and other forms of not good mental health. One goes to a doctor when they are feeling ill for their body. How is that different than going to a doctor for your mind? 

I am grateful for my mental health team.

 
Last night was the 2025 Harvey Awards. 

 During the ceremony, Peter was inducted into their hall of fame.

 It was a nice awards ceremony with killer appetizers and an open bar.  Which is a good way to get the comic industry to show up.

 Paul Levitz gave the introduction for Peter. He talked about Peter’s love for the industry and how he was a friend you could count on. It was a lovely speech.

Then it was my turn to speak for Peter. I could feel the melancholy in the room. I decided to lighten the mood. I opened with, “Peter David is officially a ghost writer.” The room howled with laughter and applause. The mood changed and I talked about how Peter loved the industry and the people in it. I think I did well. I did get compliments afterwards and met a lot of people who had their own Peter David story to share. I learned from several how important his work is in their countries. It was comforting to know how beloved Peter was by his colleges.

Today I am taking a break from the convention. My right knee is acting up and I want a day to get it back in shape before hitting the floor one last time on Sunday as I still have some people to visit at the convention.

I am grateful that Peter is in the Harvey Hall of Fame

Fall is the season I love the most. The temperature is very comfortable. I love watching the leaves change. And there is Halloween which is my favorite holiday. I still have to get my decorations ups.

That will happen after this weekend which is New York Comic Con. We are accepting Peter’s entrance into the hall of fame. Next weekend is Peter’s family memorial and then I am done with memorial services.

And then….

Well, I don’t know. I still have IRS, Medicaid and the Will to deal with.

For over 10 years, starting with Peter’s first stroke, I was Peter’s caretaker. I made sure he went to his physical therapy and doctor’s appointments. I made sure there was food on the table, and he had what he needed to work. At conventions, I was his stage manager making sure he got to his panels, and he ate among other things.

Now I have myself to take care of. Living by myself I have been doing for about three years. Now I must find a job that pays a decent salary. I have been trying to get a job before Peter passed. I have been out of the job market for 23 years since I was let go by Del Rey. I do have my job at Micheal’s Craft Store but only very part time at a little over the minimum wage. I do enjoy my time there. I have a great manager and a good crew to work with, but it will not pay for my utilities and other expenses. 

I must learn how to take care of myself. I am so used to taking care of others, I tended to ignore me. Now it is just me and that feels weird. I honestly didn’t expect to find myself in this position for at least another 20 years or so.

I have lived on my own before I met Peter. I know I have the skill seall be it a little rusty. 

The hardest thing for me to do is put me first. I haven’t really done much of that in my life. I have others I could put first. Caroline still needs me however; she has her own life and adventures to live. She knows she can call, text, or visit any time she wants to.

I am at a crossroads as to what I want to do with my life. I want to write more and continue to make puppets for fun and profit. But can I make a living on that? Right now, the answer is no but I can work to making it a yes. It will take time and effort on my part. 

I am in a cocoon right now getting ready to hatch and spread my wings. I don’t know how this is all going to end up, but I think I have a good beginning.

I am grateful for me.

Now I knew I was creative, but I never really thought of myself as an artist. Bill Sienkiewicz was the one who made me see my work as art. He managed to get me to see what I did was not just a technical trick but creative art. I thought of puppets as practical objects. I didn’t see them as art. Now that I do, I think of myself as an artist. I am proud of my art.

I can write. I enjoy stretching that part of my mind. I am always thinking my way through stories and scenarios. Peter did the same thing and we would bounce ideas off each other and were each other’s first readers. 

And we were honest with each other. Peter would warn people they would be getting his opinion good, bad or ugly. I got his honest opinion which sometimes was just the words “it sucks. Try again with out the story sucking.” He would tell me when I was wasting my time on a story for various reasons. I would tell him the same thing on that rare occasion where I could tell he was at a dead end.

I like making dolls. I haven’t done it in a while. I learned the kind of doll I loved making from Wendy Froud. If you ever get the chance to take a workshop from Wendy, take it. It will change your life. Yesterday a friend of mine gave me a box of eyeballs. These are much smaller I would use for the puppets however, they are the perfect size for smaller dolls. Most of my doll work is with anthropomorphize animals or fantast creature. I kept my favorite badger to remind me that I can do these things. 

I like making stuffed animals. Another thing that I haven’t done in a while. Again they go to the fantastical side of the road.

I like making costumes. I am doing less of that. For one thing Caroline learned to sew for herself, so she makes her own costumes. I don’t have that gang of kids I had to make costumes for. I am starting to make stuff for me. Some of it can be used as street clothing. Other pieces are costume only. I am in the middle of making a swallow tailcoat. It is very complicated. I think I can do it. I am probably going do a muslin mockup before I take scissors to the real fabric.

My mind is never bored. It is aways scheming all kinds of things. Right now, it is working on the answer to a question a friend asked about how to do something with a puppet. I came up with several ways just off the top of my head. I am now going through them to see what would work for my friend since this is their first puppet.

I am grateful for my creativity.

This past weekend I went to the Museum of the Moving Image to celebrate it. It was amazing the creativity that went into the puppets and costumes that people had. I think Jim would have been proud.

Jim was the King of Creativity. He was a “yes and” man. Ideas were encouraged even if they seemed to be crazy ideas. He had a good eye for talent and built his group of puppeteers and puppet builders very carefully. He never asked more than he could do, which was a lot according to those who knew him. 

He was an incessant doodler. I can’t say I have seen any of his papers without doodle. There is an entire book on his doodles. And they are delightful. Sometimes you get triangles repeatedly in a lovely pattern. Others turn into the Muppets we know and love so well.

We have so much he did while he was alive from Wilkins and LaChoy Dragon ads to SNL to Sesame Street to the Muppet show to Dark Crystal and Labyrinth to so much more. Personal favorite is the StoryTeller.

Since he has passed, his children have kept the ball rolling with new Muppet material long with all kinds of projects along the way. Now we are getting a special episode of the Muppet Show which is a trial balloon to bring back the variety show.

I think what amazes me the most about Jim Henson is how relevant he still is to the world. An entire generation has been born since he passed and they know who he is and what the Muppets are. I found that out this weekend. This was an all-ages event. A young man won the costume contest dressed up as Jim Henson.

In a strange way he is the mentor to many people he never met. His work and attitude give us something to work towards. His words of encouragement are still read and taken to heart.

Happy Birthday Jim! You are missed.

I am grateful for Jim Henson.

Happy Birthday to the Baggins Boys. JRR Tolkien made this Bilbo and Frodo’s birthday. I expect it is busy at Bag End with some form of party or remembrance. I love those books. I still have fond memories of my father reading those books to me before I was at that reading level.

Tomorrow is going to be difficult for me. It would have been Peter’s sixty-nineth birthday. I have no idea how I am going to react to it. I might write a blog about Peter or I might shut down the entire day. What happens is what happens. I will deal with it.

I have been a bit at loose ends. I have NYCC coming up and the memorial has been set. DM me if you want the info for the memorial. I am looking forward to NYCC because I get to see folks I haven’t seen in a while. It will be nice to catch up with my comics gang along with the friends I have made along the way. 

The memorial is the end of a long road that started with his death. I have needed to get this done for a while, but it was not possible until now. I had hoped to do it around his birthday, but I couldn’t find a venue. Now I have a venue and am working out the rest of the details. It needs to be done.

The will has entered probate. I don’t know quite where we are in the process, but I do know it is moving forward.

After the memorial and the will are sorted out, I am at loose ends. 

I must figure out what is next for me.

 Finding a job has been on going depressing job. I have some ideas that I have to reach out to some people on. I can’t do what I have done in the past. My legs are not what they were so desk job it is. Would I like to work from home? Yes, yes, I would. However, I am will to go into an office. I just want a decent paying job that doesn’t drive me crazy.

Would I like to make the puppets my permeant job? Yes, however, I stink at promotion. My website is a mess. And my business card needs to be redone. It’s funny, I can promote others. It’s really easy. When it comes to me, I get imposter syndrome although I know my puppets look very good. I have impressed others with them. 

This past weekend I went to the Museum of the Moving Image to celebrate Jim Henson’s birthday (9/24/25) with like-minded people. They showed 71 best Muppet moments. Some made me laugh out loud others brought a tear to my eye. 

Along the way, I taught a couple of people how to use their puppets that they had just bought. I felt good passing on the information that had been given to me oh so many years ago. I could see the light bulb go off over their heads as I explained what they needed to do. I think next time I am bringing a puppet or two or pay for a table and try to sell them.

I am grateful for puppets.

Wednesday was another morning of work. We got large boxes full of little things. Those boxes seem to take forever. I got two out of four areas done having gotten through 30 boxes of yarn the day before leaving 50 to go. The rest of Wednesday was dealing with little fires that have been popping up. I kept feeling dizzy and put it down to hydration. Didn’t pass out but came close.

Thursday started late as I really woke up at 10:00 am. I tried to wake up at 6:00, 7:00, 8:00 and 9:00 but just couldn’t succeeded. The day was slow, and I napped a lot. Talked to my therapist about DragonCon and other things going on. She gave me some good advice about taking care of me. Self-care is important and I have been peddle to the meatal for months now. She thinks since I have the time I might need to give myself a break this the weekend and then start up everything again. I think she is right and plan to do so. I might even go see a movie.

 Today I woke up at 7:00 and started to clean up this that and the other. My back complained so I sat down and watched the press conference for the suspect in the Charle Kind murder. Assignation is not the answer. Too many have die for stupid reasons. We need to remember how we felt about each other on 9-11 when the country came together. I love my country. I am not particularly happy with what is going on with in the political area.

I am grateful for birthday pie and birthday cake.

 
The cats have been asking to be petted just as I am waking up. They sense I am coming back to the world, and I find them up on the bed with Inky on the right and Mewlan on the left awaiting pets and skritches. I have no idea how long they are on the bed. Some mornings I hear and feel them land on the bed and others they are just there. Mewlan has a habit of curling up with me in the middle of the night for an hour or so. 

 Next puppet, Gary Oldman’s Dracula which is a commissioned piece. I found the blue glasses that are puppet sized. I have most of the fabric. I need to find a grey lining fabric to finish the clothing. I already have the body. The hat is going to be tricky but not impossible. I have built top hats before.

 That was something I was thinking about recently because of a question at DragonCon. The number of things I have learned to build it for a puppet. Wedding dresses, bowler hats, different form of vests, coats, and shirts, dresses, kilts, the list goes on and on. The Doctors alone taught be about various kinds of frock coats. I learned patterning making for puppet size which had helped me make things for people. I want to learn more about pattern making for adults.

 I am also itching to get back into doll making. I have taken a series of classes from Wendy Froud who have given me the skills to do so. I have a lot of ideas running through my head including a Dragon in a smoking jacket.

I have writing to do as well. There is Nemo and Mystery Novel #1 along with some short stories. Peter believed in my ability to write, and I want to prove him right.

There is also the usual household chores that need to be done. Cats to be cleaned up after. Laundry to be washed (Isn’t there always laundry). And an entire house to be sorted.

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.

I am grateful for the motivation to get things done.

Tuesday August 26, 2025

The beginning of the drive down to Atlanta. 

First stop picking up Caroline and Thinn in Brooklyn. One-and-a-half-hour delay getting to them. One due to an accident and the other due to road work.

Picked them up and loaded their luggage into the car. Still could see out of the back.

Now when I first picked out the path, I added some time but avoided Washington DC. It reset when I pushed the go button, and we drove right by DC adding another hour to or trip. I stopped somewhere in South Carolina which made it about five hours to our hotel in Atlanta.

Wednesday August 27, 2025

We got up early knowing we were against a ticking clock of how many spaces were left at the hotel.

Not as many construction delays. People seemed to be paying more attention to the speed and the signs.

We arrived about one in the afternoon and got our luggage for the hotel out of the car and left the stuff for our table in the car.

Settled in and got lunch.

Dinner was with my parents. My mother made her magnificent lasagna and a Cesar salad. It was nice to see them in person. We spent time with them which was lovely. 

Back to the hotel with a stop at CVS on the way.

Sleeping was not a problem. 

Thursday August 28, 2025

Sean’s Birthday

I declared the night before that it was a “sleep in until you wake up day”.

I woke up about eight. Went about my morning ritual then got breakfast for the group.

Next was getting badges. Didn’t take as long as I thought it would. Along the way I said hello to lots of friends who I have known since before I moved to New York.

Now having the badges, I went to the loading docks for the Comic Pop Art area because they were missing an important sticker. I got that sticker for all three badges along with the loading in sticker which barely fit on my badge between my handicap sticker and my panel sticker.

I drove us to what I though was the right garage, but it was the wrong garage. So, we had to haul our goods further than we wanted to. Load in was swift and we set up quickly. I know which is the right garage for next year if we have a table. We have lupper (Lunch/supper) in the late afternoon.

The reason why is because I had a panel at seven thirty in the puppetry track. It was a well-run introduction to all the panels we would be presenting over the weekend. I got to see a lot of people that have become friends over the years in the puppetry track. Got a lot of warm hugs and sympathy for Peter’s passing. It felt like family.

Best part of the day? Getting to hug my brother on his birthday.

Friday August 29, 2025

This was a rather full panel day for me.

I started at ten o’clock in the American Media room for the “Muppet Mayhem: Which Muppet Wins when Muppet Fights Muppet?” This is a fun free for all where the audience picks 16 Muppets to put into brackets to fight each other and then we discuss who would win. We had Beaker vs. Bunsen. Beaker won due to all the pent-up rage towards Honeydew. My favorite was Anderson Cooper vs. Sam the Eagle. Sam won for some screwy reason. The winner was a Yip-yip that was in the room. The Yip-Yip’s advantage is that it had Mjolnir covered in carpet tape. I’m bringing Sherlock Hemlock to the next round if I am invited.

Next panel was in the Sci-Fi track entitled “Muppets Sci-Fi: Favorite series recast”. You could only have one human and cast the rest with Muppets. Mine was Sherlock Holmes. Keep Holmes human say Hiddleston or David Thewlis then Rolf is Watson, Gonzo is Lestrade, Uncle Deadly is Moriarity, and so on.

The next panel was in DragonCon families, a track I didn’t know existed, but it needs to exist, entitled” Theater life for kids”. We talked about auditioning, weird props we have dealt with, disasters on stage and how to keep going, and several other topics. The panel was very positive and uplifting. We didn’t say it wasn’t hard, but we did encourage the kids to give it a try. I told my Yale story where I was the audition secretary. What the people auditioning didn’t know is how they treated me played into their score to getting into the Drama School. 

I went to see Caroline and Thinn at the table to find out we sold several copies of “The Complete Howling Mad” along with a blank puppet body.

Walking back to the Hilton something strange started happening with my body where I was listing to the left and bending towards that side. Had a hard time breathing. When I got to the front of the Hyatt I was in bad shape. They sat me down and checked me for stroke. They got me some water and let me sit there until I felt normal again. I made it to the Hilton but it was one of the hardest walks I had done. 

I went to the Marriot to a panel on the most amazing car I have ever seen. It was the Studebaker from the Muppet Movie. Inside were great recreations of Fozzie and Kermit built by my friend Cher. I loved being able to be so close to the car. All I could think was “Ah a bear in his natural habitat, a Studebaker.” It is an amazing reconstruction of the original car. The company that rebuilt it was Razor Fly Studios and they did a fine job. It was interesting to hear about the problems along the way to get it back to a running car with a killer paint job. The car will now be on view at the Studebaker Museum.

The final activity of my day was the Friday Night Workmanship Contest. This year was harder than last year to judge. Best in show was easy. The minute she walked in we knew she would be hard to beat. It was a Neverending Story costume. She had a Falcor twisting around her along with one of the wolves. The base of the costume told the story in pictures. Her costume was the princess’ but augmented. It was a thing of beauty. There were a lot of wonderful costumes but in the end we judged them and gave them the winners.

Afterwards I went to my brother’s room and relaxed with friends. Vin managed to get me to stop leaning. He recommended some things to do to stop it. 

Saturday August 30, 2025

The Parade gave me some time to get myself together the next morning.

First panel is one I suggested and am the moderator of entitled “So you want to build a puppet?” It is where people come with their questions and problems they are having with puppets they are working on. We had some really good questions, and the panel had good answers for them. I love that panel so much.

Next was back to the Hilton and “Meet the Winners of the Friday Night Costuming Contest”. Where the winners showed off how they created those magnificent costumes. The audience asked intelligent questions, and it was a good discourse.

I went back to our table and sold some books and almost sold some puppets.

It was weird, I didn’t do any real walk arounds with my puppets. I usually I have a puppet on my arm consistently. This year I walked around with a head for a while. I just wasn’t feeling it. It kind of scares me.

Walking back to the Hilton something strange started happening with my body where I was listing to the left and bending towards that side. Had a hard time breathing. When I got to the front of the Hyatt I was in bad shape. They sat me down and checked me for stroke. They got me some water and let me sit there until I felt normal again. I made it to the Hilton but it was one of the hardest walks I had done. The reason I was there was to help my friend Freddy by being his body for a life cast demo. 

Therefor I got plastered before going to Peter’s memorial.

Peter’s memorial hosted by the Comics Track was lovely. We told stories of Peter and what he meant to us. The audience got to participate as well. Paul Jenkins was the moderator. On the panel was Nayr, Colleen Dorran, Garret Wang, Keith De Candido, Kevin J. Anderson, and me. It was nice hearing other professionals talk about Peter. 

After that I had sometime so I went back to the table to let Caroline and Thinn wander the dealer’s hall of which I saw the floor I was on and half of another floor. I just didn’t have the time.

We went to dinner, and I went to my last panel entitled “Giant Walkabouts and Body Puppets” where we talked about giant walkabouts and body puppets. We did end up on some tangents but managed to get back on topic pretty quick. 

I ran back, okay walked quickly, to my hotel room to get ready for Sean’s party. I was dressing up as Barnabas Collins for Sean’s Addams family party. I wore a sticker that said, “Hello I am Cousin Barnabas”. Thinn did my make-up and Caroline my hair. I put on what I had of the costume. I was missing the boot covers and the swallow tailcoat. It was good enough to fool people who knew me. The cane and ring helped a lot.

It was a late night talking to friends. I had a lot of fun.

Sunday August 31, 2026

I gave myself permission to sleep in since I had only one panel for the day.

I got up at nine and got breakfast for the girls before walking over to the table. We ate breakfast and sorted out the day. I took Thinn around to talk to artists about her art and how she could promote it. She got excellent advice from each. I walked the floor with Caroline and bought her a few things. I picked up a Dr. Strange commission from Mike Kunkel which is totally darling.

My panel was entitled “Puppetry and Evil”. Most puppeteers in media are the bad guys. We discussed why. It was a lively discussion. We talked about evil puppets and puppeteers and good puppets and puppeteers. I was able to give a plug for my short story “The Hand Job” from the anthology Side of Good/Side of Evil.

The girls knew I was exhausted, and they encouraged me to take a nap. I did and it did help. By the time I woke up they had already gotten dinner, so I went out to dinner with my friend Joann at an Irish pub I like. We had a good meal and good conversation.

Monday September 1^st 2025

I had one panel entitled “The Last Thing You Want to See At DragonCon: Peter David Memorial”.

This was a tribute that Peter use to close out the Trek Track every year. It was entitled “The Last Thing You Want to See At DragonCon: Peter David.” 

It was Keith DeCandido and me along with the audience. It was a love feast. We were there to support each other. I sold all the copies of “The Complete Howling Mad” I brought with me. 

After that I wandered a bit until it was time to pack up and leave. We did so efficiently and got everything back to the room.

We took the stock with us when we went to get the car and put that in leaving us only our suitcases and bags.

Then it was time for my birthday dinner with my parents. We had a spinach salad, bake potato, broccoli, filet mignon, and cake. It was very yummy. We had good conversation and a lot of fun.

We got back and finished packing our bags. We went to bed at a reasonable hour.

September 2, 2025

We drove back home. The GPS took us a back route that avoided Washington DC entirely. I got the kids back to their apartment about eleven twenty and I got home about twelve twenty-three.

I am so grateful for DragonCon and all the people who make it happen.