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 I am still here. I am still grieving for Peter.

 

However, I am doing things and getting out of the house more. My therapist says that this is a good thing.

 

I saw George and Brad Takei. That was special. They expressed their sympathies and George told me that Peter will always live in his heart. Then Friday I went in and saw the children’s author Sachiko Kashiwaba who wrote “The Village beyond the Mist” which is one of the books that inspired “Spirited Away”. Then Saturday I had lunch with a friend and then marched as an advocate in the Lesbian parade. 

 

Today is paperwork day. All the calls and paperwork that gets stacked up from Friday and the weekend.

 

I am taking care of myself which is also good. The only thing I must remind myself is to eat. I’m not hungry.  Thirsty yea, hungry no. I do eat at least two meals a day.

 

I am still working on puppets and keeping up with the house.

 

It’s bits and pieces but they are healing bits and pieces.

 

I am still in paperwork hell and will be probably for a couple of years. I don’t understand why filling a will is such hell. I own the estate. I am the executer of the will. But it must wind its way through the court. I am guessing two years and that is both a long and short time.

 

The house is in puppet mode which means I have fur, fabric, and other puppet making supplies everywhere. I plan a clean-up for tomorrow after I get back from work. The truck has moved to Tuesday, so my early morning workday has moved and gone to once every two weeks rather than once a week. 

 

Got conventions coming up. I will be at Shoreleave, GalaxyCon Raleigh, IL Who and DragonCon. There might be one or two later in the autumn like NYCC but that is not a solid yet. Please feel free to say “Hi” I love meeting people and I love meeting Peter’s fans.

 

Now off for another round of sewing and laundry.

 

I am grateful for that which makes me feel better.

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 Kath’s blog with Stitch

Photos at the end of this entry.

(OooooOOOoooo)

This is my laptop Stitch. On it I can write anything I want.

(Shiiiiiiiney)

I guess it could be called shiny. I really need to clean it up.

(OooooOOOoooo)

Hey! Give that back

(Heeheehee Mwhahahaaahaaa)

Dsjfheruifguhvnvbivui fjkdlkfjljn dhjfncnpa947uurh jf4ijdhjfn Stitch

[grabs laptop back from Stitch]

I don’t that is how you spell dhjfncnpa947uurh

(Growl)

Okay, okay what do I know?

Anyway, the weather is damp. Rain is over but it is humid. Chilly. Will probably wear a jacket when I walk down to the docks today.

(Rain water Yucky)

I guess if you can’t handle the rain, you should handle an umbrella. HEY!

(Bad pun noooooooo laptop)

Come on. I just want to write about the stuff in my head.

(Stuff in head?)

Ouch! Stop hitting my head with the laptop. I meant figuratively not literarily.

(Oh? What that mean?)

Figuratively means in a way that involves or invokes a metaphor or figure of speech.

(long rumbling growl)

Okay metaphor means a figure of speech in which a term or phrase is applied to something to which it is not literally applicable in order to suggest a resemblance, as in Stitch is the color of the sky because Stitch is blue.

(aAAAAAhhhhhhh)

Thank you for my laptop. And thank you for not breaking it.

(You are welcome)

Can you stay out of trouble for fifteen minutes or so while I finish this?

(Okay then ice cream)

I didn’t promise you….

(GrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRR)

And after I am done, we go out for lovely ice cream.

(Yeah)

Now it has started raining again. This is supposed to be the last of it then I can put a ton of cardboard out for recycling.

(No fort?)

Yes, fort but not with that grungy cardboard. I have better boxes in the car.

(Good)

After that I go back to the super-duper house cleaning project or how much can one collect in one house in almost 40 years. I am going through with keep, sell, give away, or toss.

(Toss Stitch?)

Of course not. You are part of the family.

(Ohana)

Yes

I am grateful for the strange conversations in my head.

No photos because I do not understand the system. The first one was our life sized Stitch typing on my laptop and the second was the same blue stitch holding my lap top

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 I had to give fasting blood for my Doctor. I had no coffee until now (noonish)

Things are getting done in a slow fashion. Having the death certificates helps me to start a whole bunch of the process with the will and other things. I have been doing things like freezing his credit reports, insurance, and starting to deal with all the people who pay him money.

Doesn’t mean I am not having any fun. People visited me and are making sure I am Okay. I appreciate each visit a lot. 

This morning, I was running through the list of errands I need to do. I automatically added visit Peter to the list. Now that he is at his keyboard in the living room, I can visit with him anytime I want. No driving needed. Conversation is rather one sided.

I started on my Lego Sherlock Holmes endorsed by the Doyle Estate. This has the most pieces I have delt with since I built the Sanctum Santorum. The difference is tiny pieces to put this one together. I need to take some of it apart to fix an error or two so I can continue to build it.

Puppets are started. Not far but started. I always forget how much I enjoy building puppets until I start doing it. I have some doozies this year along with some new ones. I have a bout a month for two to be done then less than a week for the next two so my goal is to get all four done before Shoreleave. Then there are the DragonCon puppets and my costume for Sean’s party. I have time. I just cannot waste the time.

I think AM is going to be for phone calls and puppet building and afternoon gym and the grand house project. 

Just wish I had a cloth store near me. 

I am grateful for things to do.

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Hard to believe it has been two weeks since Peter took his shuffle off this mortal coil.

It feels like it was just yesterday and a long time ago.

In that time, I have started the movement of all the paperwork to settle the estate. Not a ton there. Peter did the best he could. We had to cash out insurance policies and IRAs to get his income down to something that Medicaid would except. That is one relief for me that we can drop the Medicaid battle. 

However now there is the will and the estate to settle. More paperwork to be done. Monday I find a lawyer since I now have the death certificates in hand. This means social security is now on the list of things to be done. I want to get this done in the most efficient method possible.

Then there are physical things that were Peter’s. Clothing, books, collectables, and other things must be gone through. I will be selling various pieces of the collection to have money to pay for the expenses. How I am going to do it is a little up in the air.

There will be a memorial with all invited in September. It will be around the 23rd of September which is his 69 birthday.

I picked up his ashes yesterday and, per his request, I put them before his computer keyboard. It’s a good place for them. 

We had fun on Facebook yesterday speculating how many books he had already done in the great beyond. I said two were already published. He typed 174 words a minute. Yes, that is an insane number of words, but he learned typing first on a manual typewriter then on an electric typewriter. I should have recorded the sound of his typing. 

I found the last anniversary card he gave me. It speaks of us as a couple and how we help each other. We always had each other’s backs. 

Peter enjoyed his time with my friends. They knew who he was but to them he was Kath(y)[leen] husband. He got to be himself around them. He didn’t feel the need to be the PETER DAVID, he could be Peter or Pete. Not that he didn’t tell tales about our lives. My friends could match him which he liked. I have a very eclectic set of friends who have done lots of interesting things. It was nice to see him relax and just be himself.

I know he amused the nurses and aids at his rehab facility. They would come to me for verification of those tales. And they would ask me about it. I would confirm he was telling a true life experience. They were impressed. They also told me in a sympathy card how much they liked him as a patient and a person. He tended to make himself beloved.

I miss my soulmate. I see a bad pun or a good joke and think Peter would like it then I remember he’s not here. I say it out loud so if his ghost is kicking the house. There were the discussions in the morning about the day. The lunches. Taking care of the kids. Dinners. Discussions after the day is done. I miss the time we spent together. 

I also remember enjoying our time apart. We were not connected at the hip. There were conventions he went to by himself and the same for me.  I went to lunch at some places around the village. I brought him something back. There were times we went to a film alone because only one of us wanted to see it. We knew we wanted to be together but understood have separate parts of our lives gave us a stronger relationship.

 

I miss my husband.

I am grateful for the time I had with Peter

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 Eulogy-noun

Plural eulogies.

1.    a speech or writing in praise of a person or thing, especially a set oration in honor of a deceased person.

2.    high praise or commendation.

Peter didn’t like tomatoes at all, but he liked ketchup a lot.

Peter and I met at one of the last Atlanta Fantasy Faires. He bought a puppet which came with a thirty-minute lesson on how to operate it. The con committee told me that Peter had bought a puppet and wanted the lesson that came with it. I was on a time crunch because I had a show to stage manage that evening. Late afternoon found me behind his table teaching him and his daughter Shana how to operate a hand and rod puppet. I was focused on the lesson not all the things he was signing. He had a line for most of the time he was there but managed to find some time so I could show him what to do. I made sure Shana, who has a knack for it, knew what to do. I ran off to do my show. After the show and going out for a drink with the gang, I came home very sleepy. As I was getting ready for bed, I looked at my bookshelves and there at the top of the stack was Q-in-Law by Peter David. I slapped my head and said, “Oh THAT Peter David.”

After that we were convention buddies. We would catch up on each other’s lives and families and then move onto another topic that interested us. Then we started talking on AOL messenger and found we had feelings for one and other.

Peter and I official got together in 1998. I moved up to his neck of the woods as Atlanta had nothing that paid well for me to do. 

Since we had spent so much time talking on AOL, we knew each other better than we would have. When we got together it just felt right and as the years pasted even more right that we were together. 

I miss some of the insane conversations we had that went from point A to point M eventually getting back to point B. We could talk about everything under the sun. Yes, he was as funny as he was at conventions.

Conventions were where PETER DAVID attended. He seemed larger than life. He always loved talking to the fans. He said more than once, “Writing is a solitary profession. You write and hope other people will like what you right.” At conventions were the fans wanting to talk to him and tell him what he wrote that meant a lot to them. 

I remember one young man, who found out much later in life he was dyslexic, saying the Starfleet Academy books taught him to read and made him want to read. Other people have used the vows in Imzadi for their weddings. Everyone had a favorite story or series, and Peter would talk to them about it and answer questions the fans had. Sometimes it was something he came up with on the spot. 

His ability to make gay characters just another human being was magical. He was a strong supporter of the LBGTQ+ community as am I. My daughter is a lesbian with a wonderful partner. They support each other through all kinds of situations. Peter was very proud of what she has accomplished. He was very proud of all his daughters achievement of which there are many.

Peter is complimented how he wrote women who sounded like real women. He has gone on record that he feels there is no difference between the genders. He wrote them as human beings with their own faults and foibles along with their strength of character and the ability to rise to the occasion.

I have the good luck of being his first reader. I would give him my honest opinion as to what worked and didn’t work for me. Some suggestions he would take, some he would clarify, and others he left alone. He appreciated the input.

He would find ideas for writing in the strangest of places. We would be driving along and he would say, “What do you think of this idea for a story?” We would discuss it and either the idea was abandoned, or he would get home and hop onto the computer.

He liked cats. It wasn’t that he disliked dogs, he just preferred cats. And they liked him. He is survived by Fig, Inky, Mew, and Phoebe.

Peter encouraged me to build puppets. He would push me to work on puppets because he believed in me and my skill. He also trusted my ability to make costumes. Sometimes he didn’t give me much time to create what he came up with. That was Okay because I love a challenge. There were many a costume that was finished at the convention. He believed in my ability to write and encourage me to do so. We wrote a Ghostbusters comic entitled “What the Samhain is going on here”. I wrote it and Peter cleaned it up for me. Since then, I have been writing short stories for various anthologies. Sometimes under an alias. 

Peter is my soulmate. I am not saying we didn’t have disagreements, we did but we worked through them. We learned about each other to the point we could say half a sentence and the other would be filling in the next. We were very comfortable with each other. No need to put up masks.

I have drug resistant depression along with situational depression (I think you can guess the situation). Peter helped me get help so I could be me again not the sad rage monster I had become. I hope after I get everything done, I will no longer have situational depression. But there is a lot to do.

Peter will be remembered by many people for many things. I will remember my steadfast husband who was always in my corner and helped me become a better person.

What do you remember about Peter?

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 The toast is to the MC. Seventy years ago Kermit first appeared on Sam and Friends.

He looked more like Kermit the lizard but over the early years he morphed into the Froggie we know and love.

 My best Kermit story happened on September 23, 1978, which was the opening of the Center for Puppetry Arts. I had managed to get through the crowd and took some photos of Jim and Kermit. The crowd got tighter and tighter and Jim backed right up into me. I was helped up and found myself taking to Kermit who was really concerned that I was okay. I will always remember that.

 Kermit’s character was one of the calm in the midst of chaos. Not that he was always calm. A Kermit blowup included a lot of flipper flapping and that “aaaaaaaaaaaa”. The other muppets could tell they stepped on a bomb unless they were oblivious (Gonzo). He was the rock that kept the group together. They trusted their leader even in the mist of the theater falling apart.

 Kermit became the face of the Muppets. I think almost everyone knows who Kermit the frog is.

I think one of my favorite scenes with Kermit is the opening of the Muppets Movie when he sanging Rainbow Connection. I am also fond of Being Green. Both make me both happy and sad at the same time.

 Kermit is in my top ten Muppet list. I don’t think the Muppets could exist without Kermit. 

On another note, I think all of us wonder what Jim would have done with today’s technology. 

 As Jim liked to say, “It really started with a frog.”

 I am grateful for Kermit the Frog.

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 Wednesday April 30, 2025 I joined other members of the Marvel family to see a friends and family preview of Thunderbolts*. 

I overheard someone say a friend of hers, that was at the opening, said it felt more like an A-24 film than a Marvel film.

Or maybe Marvel saw something that was going on over at A-24 and copied it.

I am going to try for spoiler free with the assumption you have seen the trailers.

It was not what I was expecting and much better than I had hoped from the trailers. I had no idea where they were going with it, but they managed to pull it off with even a ta-da at the very end. Yes, there are some extra bits during the credits and post credits.

There is one character I am desperate to talk to someone else about. This character has a very interesting story throughout the film. They laid the track work for the ending all through the film until they presented us with the ending.

This was in some ways a darker or lighter Marvel movie. 

They promised us lots of fights and we got some spectacular punch ups. The battles had so much going on, I want to see the film again to see the other half of some of the fights. There are some very dark scenes showing us when our heroes felt at their lowest. Yes, there are feelings, and they are discussed some well and some not so well. The father and daughter seem to slide into some habits that we can tell have been their relationship for a loooooong time.

The lighter side was the quips and some of the very strange arguments. It is not over quipped. It feels organic rather than stuffed in there. And, honestly, Bucky. There are some hilarious banters that hit all the right buttons. It feels like a Marvel movie. It felt like a warm hug.

Do I think it needs to be seen on the big screen? For the fights, I would say yes because there is SO MUCH going on. The rest of it not so much. So it depends what is important to you.

I am grateful I got to see this film with the Marvel Family.
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 Well, let us see if I post it.

 

Spring

The Haze Yon By Walt Kelly and Norman Monath

How pierceful grows the hazy yon!
How myrtle petaled thou!
For spring hath sprung the cyclotron,
How high browse thou, brown cow?

This is my favorite spring poem/song. I have heard it since I was a little child and I always associate with spring.

That and the pollen. Which is pretty thick today.

Puppets

I am inching closer to making rather than thinking. I do need my think time to solve through problems and make plans. But I also know I will have mistakes that I will have to correct during a build. Of course, that is when I get my best ideas.

 Knicks

Can they win it all tonight or will this be the beginning of the end? The Knicks are a fun team to cheer for even when they are doing lousy. And oh boy do their fans have opinions that they share at the top of their lungs during a game. I have a few choice ones I use during the game. 

Mets

I have been enjoying the Mets play. I am waiting for the injury shoe to fall, because that is what happens when things are going well. Peter has been enjoying the games also. However, for now, they have the best record in baseball.

NFL Draft

Overall it was an okay draft. Nice to see teams going for other position players than all quarter backs. Dion Sander’s kid make it in the fifth round after being told by the sports pundits that he would be first or second round. Fifth round was a punishment and a heads up for the Sanders family as to where the dynasty stands.

Amazon Prime

Has been a PITA since I upgraded it. I had to remove it and put it back four times before I could get the app to work on my television. Now onto watching Conclave.

Superhero Day

Tomorrow is superhero day at Peter’s rehab center. He is participating with a panel as Peter David. I am bringing the props which includes a massive amount of omnibus, toys, and other things he has written. I think we will have fun. Then I am off to the city and the MARVEL preview of Thunderbolts. Should be a good day. 

I am grateful for things that amuse me.

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 Blog Entry

I have been writing blog entries, just not posting the final product. Nothing I wouldn’t put out on the internet, but I just feel I rather not.

 

Shrinkage

I bought some granola bars and then found an older one while cleaning. Anytime I see the word, NEW, I know the product is going to be smaller. You no longer buy a quart of OJ but the price is the same for the smaller bottle. A gallon of milk still is a gallon of milk and a dozen eggs is still a dozen eggs but on those, the price has gone up. My food bill is pretty minimal but it is going up.

 

Exercise

I’m doing Okay with that. Had a bit of an interruption because I had to get the house trim painted for insurance reasons. I like having insurance that is not being paid by my mortgage company that only pays for catastrophic damage. I am getting back into a routine and just need to pick it up again tomorrow.

 

Puppets

A lot on paper and none in physical form. I have almost finished the planning stage which sends me into the building stage after household chores. I think I am going to declare puppet day starting at once a week and then upping that the closer we get to D-day especially because it is almost May.

 

Housework

Yes, there is always upkeep on a house. Things to be done every week or twice a week (Cat boxes) or every day (dishes). With cats, you must keep up with the cat hair or you start having tumbleweeds of cat hair. Inky the long hair cat is most responsible for this phenomenon. I will admit I am not a great housekeeper, but I get by.

 

Sleep

It’s one of the few categories I am doing well in. I get a minimum of seven hours sleep. I try to keep to a schedule on this. Getting up at the same time every day except Thursday because of work. I have a special schedule for that day. I am probably doomed to Insomnia now. 

 

Me

I am doing all right. I am still under a lot of stress which is probably the reason for some of my medical issues. Although we have pollen. I medicate against it, however it still is a physical miserable. I have gone through two tissue boxes so far. Thank goodness I bought a pack of four. I am also tired of my power sneezing, which scares the ever-loving out of the cats and leaves me with a headache. Overall I am feeling more connected to the world than I have in a while. I am laughing again, that’s big news because I haven’t really laughed since Covid. Not a from the belly roar of laughter. I am finding things funny rather than just amusing and it is a big difference mentally. I am feeling more like me pre-Covid and that is a step forward.

 

I am grateful for being myself in front of friends.

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 Or will be as of April 26th. I cannot describe their style of play however there are plenty of videos of their shenanigans on Youtube and the like. It’s a bag of entertainment wrapped in a baseball. One guy plays on stilts.

 

I am reading “A Study in Celluliod” by Micheal Cox producer of Sherlock Holmes. It is a very interesting look behind the curtain of the making of the 1984 Granada series. The only thing that stopped it was the death of Jeremy Brett. There were plans to continue the series after the last season.

 

I have been blogging more often than I thought I would. It is sort of a brain dump for me. I am hoping someone finds it amusing or useful. I know one of the most read ones is the one about my miscarriage and people said it did help them along with my mental health entries.

 

Writing about mental health is important to me. I hope my situation and what I am doing for it gives even just one person the courage to take on their mental health journey. I know I am a very different person than I was before the pandemic. Right now I am getting back into doing things I stopped doing because I was so depressed and felt off kilter. That’s a good sign for me. Also, I am talking to my therapist every two weeks rather than every week. I am stable right now and enjoying it.

 

I am grateful for the right medication that is helping me be stable.

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 I have been thinking about thankfulness and expressing it aloud. Yes, I do have a set of circumstances that sometimes makes it hard to be thankful but, I try to be.

 

I am thankful for my family. My parents have been my rock through all my life. My brothers and sister are in my corner and cheering me on. I know I can call on any of them at any time. 

 

My mother taught nursing for more than forty years. She is who I go to when I am confused by what is happening to Peter or what they want to do with Peter. Because of her I can read his chart including several of the shorthand notes. I go knowing what it is going on so I can asked questions properly. 

 

My dad is my computer expert, and he makes me laugh. He sends me articles he thinks I will find interesting. He knows me well because I do. We love to pun off with each other. He read to me before I could read and listened to me read as I was learning. He read the Hobbit to me by the time we got to Return of the King, I was reading to him just for a bit since he did all the voices.

 

Sean is my go-to on so many subjects. I have said that if there is a zombie apocalypse I would get my way to Sean’s house. Patrick and I share the love of the same kind of fiction among other things. If we read something we know the other will joy, we tell each other about it. Shelia is a writer. I am beta reading a book of hers and so far, I am enjoying it. She is my sister, and we enjoy talking to each other when we get together.

 

I am thankful for my in-laws and stepdaughters. They also have my back and help with giving me thoughts on Peter’s care. I try to keep them up on his health and wellbeing. Last week Shana, Gwen, and Gwen’s son (Peter’s grandson) visited him. He had a great time. I got to have dinner with Shana, and we caught up on all kinds of things. I had a nice chat with Gwen about her family and my family. I told them about Caroline’s trip to Japan.

 

I am thankful for my extended family. They may not be family by blood, but to me they are family. They have helped me through some bad times. They give me help when I need help. My social life is due to my extended family. I am going to see a bunch of them Saturday for a Sedar. 

 

I am thankful for my friends. I have a lot of people with that title. Most of it comes from conventions and bowling. My convention friends make it worth going to the conventions no matter who else is there. My local friends are there for me. I have so many that are willing to help when I need it.

 

I am thankful to Peter’s fans. I know I have some too but his fans have saved us from bankruptcy and worse. Because of their generousness, I have up to code roofs so I could get house insurance to get away from the minimal house insurance that was catastrophic only. Now I have decent house insurance. They have sent letters and good wishes to Peter that raises his spirits. They also checked in on me, this brought a tear to my eye in happiness. 

 

I am grateful for all the people looking out for us.

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 I make lists for just about everything. I find dumping my brain on paper makes it more real. I then break down the big topics into their components. I have a notebook that I put down all the notes I might need later. It goes from Medicaid paperwork to a book I want to read. Phone numbers and passwords also go in there as I am having to change a lot of them. Once a notebook was done, I take the master notebook and put what is relevant in the sections I have in that notebook. Yes, I do hang onto the other notebook just in case but my information is more organized.

 

It comes out of my stage management days where I learned a list could save your Kister. I would write notes as they came up and then typed a post rehearsal memo with all the notes, so everyone was on the same page. The great thing is I could go back to the notes to solve arguments. I was told more than once I was excellent at taking notes.

 

Today is a gym day and I am going to visit Peter. Around that I must finish the laundry and clean up the kitchen. Then puppets are next on the list. Tomorrow will be a gym day. 

 

This week we recycle paper, and I have a bit to recycle. Ordering fabric online leads to a lot of paper to recycle. Also, Peter got some graphic novels, and I finally got two books I ordered quite a while ago.

 

Caroline and her traveling buddy are in Japan. Caroline said that when I said the room was going to be small, she hadn’t really grasped the concept of how small until she got into the room. They do need to go outside to change their mind. They did have a pleasant first day in Tokyo.

 

I am grateful for safe travel.

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 Or rather I am following Caroline’s plane to Tokyo Japan. Personally, I have no problems flying. But a loved one in a plane tends to bring up the nerves.

 

Laundry is the name of the game today including changing the sheets and towels.

 

I have been watching through the Muppet Show because I know them so well, I can leave the room and come back knowing exactly where I am. It is still so funny. I have my favorite episodes but this time I am going through all but two episodes. Those episodes have different problems leading them to be left out. Really wish I could see the Brooke Shields episode again. It was their Alice in Wonderland episode and the Jabberwocky was amazing. There is an innocence to it that, with the possible exception of the Jim Henson Hour, has not been seen since especially after Jim’s death.

 

Storyteller is next on the list. Thank goodness I have that on DVD.

 

I really hope I get to the point of cutting out some puppets today. Possibly even sewing a few together. Once I get going, I’ll be fine. It can be the starting that is the hard part.

 

In positive mental health news, I am laughing again. I am finding things funny again. Can’t say I have done much of that since November 2022. Apparently, we have found the secret combo of medication that is keeping me even and feeling better. Mental health has been on my mind a lot. Not only mine, but others I care for.

 

I am grateful for the right meds.

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 Right now, most of my life is a waiting game. I am waiting to see what goes on with Peter. I am waiting to hear about some jobs to say yea or nay. I am waiting to see what happens next for Caroline. A little less since I know going to Japan is next on her list. She leaves Sunday. I am waiting on some information I need for Medicaid. 

As my friends well know I am not good at waiting. Never have been. Let me rephrase it, I stink at waiting when things are not in my control, and I am depended upon other people to do something. I get very frustrated.

If I know when the waiting will stop, say like a theater show I have a ticket to, then it is not a stressor. Knowing deadlines for me is a good thing. I can plan for that.

I can wait in line. I don’t like it, but I understand it. I have stood in line for my favorite ride at the Disney Parks and had some very interesting conversations. I have stood in line for an autograph and gotten to talk to other fans. I have made friends on lines. 

Waiting in the doctor’s office especially when I have an appointment, drives me nuts. When my wait time is five times longer than my time with the doctor, I am truly miffed. I got there the requested fifteen minutes for any last-minute paperwork. Especially when the wait goes over half an hour. Longest wait two hours for a specialist.

I am grateful when I don’t have to wait.

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 Looks outside to see recycling can in place. Wednesday it is.

 
Time and I are at slight odds with each other.

 Tuesday is almost ephemeral. I keep thinking it is Monday or Wednesday.

 Thursday is solid since I work on Thursday.

 Friday is the day after I worked so that one doesn’t slide around a lot.

 Saturday and Sunday are easy to mix up or turn Friday on repeat.

 Monday is almost solid for some reason.

 Months? What are months? I can remember what month it is just because I am vigilant with my calendars, so I know where I am in the year. Doesn’t always work but works enough that I can keep up with it.

2025 I have firmly in my head, but we are past January.

Then there is the amount of time Peter has been ill. We are two years and five months into this saga. Not much has changed recently except his white blood cell count is normal for the first time in over a year. We had a new normal but now he really is normal. Dialysis can cause the white cell count to tick up a bit. I know when he has an infection. He hasn’t ever run a fever but there are other signs that make me alert to an infection.

There is the amount of time Caroline has been on this planet. I keep up with that. She has gone from someone the length of my forearm to a young lady with ambition. She is still just a bit shorter than me. I am so proud of her. We gave her a start and she has taken that to become the person she is. She’s in love with her partner and they were made for each other. She had to fight hard to get into FIT and harder to get into the animation program. She would not take “it is the way it has always been” as an answer and got administration to think about why it was this way. She is the first film student to major in animation and with that opened the door for others to take that path. It does mean an extra year of school for her. She doesn’t mind that. She is even working in the industry doing storyboards for a project. She is a go getter. She is also an empathetic and kind person. She told me that she learned from my example of how to treat people. She is a good problem solver. 

Then there is the amount of time I have been on this planet. As I have stated before, I can say many things about my life, boring is not one of them. I have been able to do and learn things that have served me well through out my life. My first teachers were my parents who did an excellent job raising four very different children. Then there was school and my peers. College then Grad School and all the people I met long the way. Peter expanded my horizons by just being Peter. Then there are all the people I have met at conventions, in fandom, online, just to name a few. Puppetry has led me lots of interesting places and people. Over time I have gotten better about building puppets. I am starting the most complicated set yet and I feel confident in what I can do. I am confident in my writing as I have sold stories to various anthologies. Something I never thought I would do when I was younger.

Tempus fugit but I am here for the ride.

I am grateful for Time in all its forms.

puppetmaker: (Default)
 I am working through my head how I am going to make my list of puppets. I am sorting out which ones I should start first. Current thought is the hard ones first. And put the easy ones in between. The 13th Doctor is first since I must get her into the Dragon Con auction. Then the Shoreleave mystery puppets. Then King Richard and Tad Cooper. In between there will be critter building. Sherlock and Watson already have bodies. This is April and I need to get this done by July to stay on schedule.

 

I have been writing a novel for several years now. I put it down after the last session of words working. I am going to pick that up or the novel that I wrote a short prequel entitled “She’s a real cougar,” In Bad Ass Moms. This story has been running through my head for years now. It is about a young man who was abandoned by his mother, doesn’t know who his father it, and, having reached the age of 16, found that his heritage has left him with some odd problems besides the usual teenage issues.

 

I have an idea where I take my puppets, build sets for them, and photograph them. I could then sell the prints online and at conventions. I am excellent at building puppet sized furniture. I believe a bar is the next set I will build because it will work with more than one set of puppets. I would have to build a few more puppets for customers and the bartender. The bartender is going to be important. That is a set I can redress, and magnets and Velcro are my friends. I just need the room to do it.

 

I know how I want to redo my puppet site and see if I can move some traffic there. I must make a file of all my puppets and find those that are only in my Photobucket and other places. Unfortunately, when Apple changed their photosystem, I lost a lot of photos, or they are on a hard drive I no longer have access to. I might have a reach around for my problem. I do know that a couple of those computers still work. It’s getting the info off them. It would be interesting to see my earlier puppetry work. I have learned a lot since then, so I know they look better. But I want a record of everything.

 

I am grateful for minds working.

puppetmaker: (Default)
 This one is a bit of a touchy subject, so I want to state this is what I believe and does not reflect on anyone else’s beliefs. 

 

Last night John Oliver did a piece on trans-athletes which was through. He debunked several studies that used faulty data to prove their point. He told the audience that he had lot more stories but, the people in the stories were too scared to be on national TV much less local TV.

 

One thing he said that stuck with me. That as time goes on the word “athlete” is being dropped making all trans-society something that should be eliminated.

 

He is right. And that scares me. 

 

I have known trans people since I was an adult. Being in the entertainment industry especially working with the Bohemian part of it introduces one to people they might never have met in normal life. 

 

For years I thought it was just male to female until I met Stew who was a female to male. His chest was rather scarred because, at the time, the removal of the breast tissue was done more like a total mastectomy. He didn’t care. He was happy with his body. He did tell me his journey and it was pretty messed up. The amount of resistance he had to overcome was amazing.

 

He was the first person I met. I knew of the concept because of Laura Antonio’s “Marketplace” series. One of the characters was female to male transperson and probably the favorite character of many.

 

Since Stew, there have been great strides in gender affirming surgery. Nothing perfect yet but, getting closer. 

 

The resistance is still there in spades. The number of hoops someone must go through as an adult to become what they know they are staggering. 

 

This “for the children” idea is dangerous. How many more suicides are going to happen? How many more are going to go through life knowing they are different and trying to get their body match their image of themselves? How many more are going to go through life hating their bodies to the point of self-harm? Is anyone going to listen TO the children and what they want and believe?

 

Then there are all the adults who know they are in the wrong body. Society keeps them from making the change they so desperately want for themselves. They are worried about the reaction from family, friends, and even total strangers because of what they have seen and heard.

 

I have book to recommend Surviving Transphobia by Laura A Jacobs. It is a set of essays by people who are Tran gendered about what they have gone through. I have read it and found the essays fascinating. 

 

Trans people are not going to vanish in a puff of smoke because certain people don’t think they should exist. They are here to stay. They have the same basic human rights as everyone else no matter how hard some people try to erase them through legislation and executive orders.

 

I am grateful for the Trans community.

puppetmaker: (Default)
 Mindfulness: Noun from the OED

1.    the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something.

"their mindfulness of the wider cinematic tradition"

2. a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.

 

I was practicing mindfulness before I knew there was a word for it. I learned when I became upset or sad or whatever, I would take a moment to put me back in the here and now. Sometimes that would kick my brain out of my funk but, not always. But it was a way to calm down.

 

Taking a moment to put yourself in the absolute present tends to make you think about what your were thinking about differently. Right now, I hear a jet, a cat sleeping, birds chirping with a car running through to break the sounds into pieces. I see my laptop, my front yard, the cats in their napping spots after breakfast and the fabric for the next puppet project. I feel my clothing and my right knee complaining along with my triceps which I overworked when I went to the gym. I can feel the breath of a sleeping cat on my neck. I am feeling some anxiety but nothing severe. I find myself smiling and laughing more these days I am thinking of this blog and what I am going to write next. And I accept this in my life.

 

I have been watching my way through Dark Shadows, and I noticed something probably because I stage managed for so long and one of the places, I worked at was an Ensemble company. Dark Shadows is the only soap opera and one of the few TV shows that was an Ensemble company. They kept a core of Actors that played many different roles within the show. I liked that there would be radical changes in acting in the new role. Keeps the show fresh even though it is a thing of the mid to late 60s. Honestly, I think the suits were snazzier in that era.

I am gathering the bits and pieces I need for various puppets. I am glad I have them because as of the end of this month, Joann’s is no more. I am really hoping to find the hounds tooth I used previously for my Basil Rathbone’s Sherlock Holmes. I know I have a tub of suit fabric, and I think it is there. I did find my neoprene that I need for two puppets. Even the correct colors.

 

I think body building is next for the puppets.

 

I am grateful for the fabric I have.

puppetmaker: (Default)
 This morning, I am visiting Peter. 

 

In terms of health, he is infection free. His right arm still hurts a lot, but it was a deep cut to get to what they needed to get to. Peter has tiny veins. I am lucky that mine are easy to find and access.  

 

He said he was bored. Wednesday is when we watch John Oliver and John Stewert. Currently he is watching the episode about Tasers. It is a scary episode considering how they use the Tasers. Since we have been told they are safer than guns, which they are, we don’t think much about their use. But the look behind the curtain tells a different story.

 

I have my puppet list and when things need to be done. I am aiming high and have a lot to do. I have some new forms of puppets I want to see if people want. I am also thinking about trying some dolls of mystic creatures. And stuffed animals but, they are low on the list. I want to get the things I have to get done for the season done.

 

I will say I am making a Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce set of puppets in Black and White since their movies were black and white.

 

This will be my first go of it without the Joann’s right around the corner. I have to make grey suits, and I don’t have the right material. I managed to find what I needed for one set of puppets thanks to my fellow puppeteers pointing me the right direction.

 

This may become a blog about puppets or not. I leave the door open.

 

I am grateful for resources that let me build what is in my mind.

puppetmaker: (Default)
 Today I took Pheobe and Figaro to the vet. Pheobe for a checkup and find out how much she weighs. Figaro because she is fourteen and half and has been losing weight. Mostly because she is an elder cat. The cats behaved for the most part. Pheobe calmed down when I cut off her escape plans by closing a door. I have a very good vet that cares about these cats he has been seeing for a long time.

 

Saturday and Sunday I watched a personal favorite and comfort show, Galivant. It is a hard show to describe. The Hero is in love with a girl who is forced to marry the King, and we go from there. How is it different? It’s a musical that would, trimmed down, work on Broadway. 

 

They were not a lock for a second season, but a strange thing happened when Cancellation Bear predicted its demise. Letters were writing. Fans of the show worked on getting others to watch it. And they were renewed for a second season.

 

The First Episode Second Season was entitled “A New Season aka suck it Cancellation Bear.” The season was more insane than the first. I liked that characters grew and had realizations that effected the plot. The King traded a priceless jewel for what looked like an iguana, but he swore it was a dragon.

 

The main cast was fantastic with Timothy Omundson leading the pack. The guest spots were well cast too. I don’t want to spoil any of those because there are some you must look carefully to realize who it is. Others are blatant. I’ll give you one, Weird Al is in it as a monk.

 

I give it a high thumbs up and it is available on Hulu.

 

During my rewatch, I have been sorting medical papers and gathering the information I need for Medicaid. Seriously crossing my fingers on that one considering the political climate. Let’s see what touching the third rail does. 

 

I am grateful for all the help I am getting. It helps my mental health a lot.

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