puppetmaker | Suicide is Not Painless

Today I am going to talk about something rather serious. It maybe a topic that some people might not want to read about so I am giving the opt out option by putting it behind a cut.

Last night I saw a picture someone put up on Facebook and it resonated with me a lot. I have been thinking and debating about talking about this but I want to put this out there just in case I can help one person.

Here is what I saw on Facebook yesterday

Suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminated the Possibility of it ever getting better words on a sign held by man in a photo I saw on Namaste Café on Face Book

In graduate school I tried to commit suicide. Since you are reading this, I didn’t succeed. I got the help that I needed and worked my way through some stuff I need to work through. There was a chemical component that helped me level out and see that what I had thought was a hopeless situation was not so hopeless.

If I had succeeded, there are a lot of people I wouldn’t have met.

A lot of friends that would never know I existed.

A lot of experiences I would not have had.

A lot of places I wouldn’t have visited.

A lot of puppets and other objects I wouldn’t have created.

I wouldn’t have married my wonderful husband.

Caroline would not exist.

At the time I wasn’t thinking about anything that might happen, I was wrapped up in how hopeless I felt and that nothing was going to get better.

But it did. Not all the time and I won’t say there haven’t been challenges along the way. Over all things did get better.

I got through graduate school and survived. I went onto a career in theater. I built puppets. I performed. I wrote. I got published. I went onto a career in the publishing industry and worked on Star Wars books. I have done so many things that I would not have done if I had succeeded that dark and damp day.

My life got better, not perfect but it did get better. And now I am in a pretty good place with who I am and what I do.

Depression does hurt. And we, as a nation, need to get rid of the stigma that goes with seeking help for mental health. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. A more holistic approach to the problem rather than a continuous treating of individual symptoms.

But I am here to tell y’all that suicide in not the answer. It is a fatal solution to a short term problem.

So if you are feeling suicidal there are all kinds of help out there including suicide hotlines that you don’t have to give your name but you can get help.

So get help, live, see the possibilities even though it does look hopeless at the time.

I did and I am so grateful that I did.