Introspection (4th in a Series)
Apr. 26th, 2012 07:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
puppetmakerThis week Peter is in Canada and I am a temporary single parent of a nine year old who is probably going to be a lawyer when she grows up or may be a large animal veterinarian.
My hat is off to all the single parents of the world. Being the only one around with the responsibility for another human life is a daunting task but one I embrace with both hands. Plus Caroline is a really good hugger.
It is amazing to me how much my life changed almost 10 years ago. I went from being a step-mom to being a mom the minute they put her on my chest. My whole world shifted in an instant. Before that even though I was pregnant, a child was still sort of academic but that changes when one gets to hold that child after some of the most uncomfortable time in my life but it was all worth it.
Caroline’s birth also changed how others perceived me. I think a number of Peter’s friends didn’t really accept me until that point. They were concerned that I might be someone who was only attracted to Peter because of his status. But having a child together cemented that we were committed to each other. In the eyes of my neighbors I changed from step-mom of the David kids to a mother. I joined a club that I didn’t know really existed until that point.
Now I walk Caroline to the bus stop and talk to the other parents about all kinds of things. I participate in things at her school including the PTA and volunteering at her school’s library. The kids know me at that school by one of two, if not both, names. To some I am Mrs. David but to a lot of the children I am known as Caroline’s Mom and get called such. I really don’t mind the title at all.
Parenting is not easy. I seconded guess myself on a lot of things but I try to stick to my guns when I have drawn a line in the sand. I worry about her health and eating habits. I worry about how she is treated in school. We recently had an incident of her being told that she is not fashionable which lead to a whole “thing” about how I don’t let her express her fashion sense. I try to make sure that she get exercise and play time. I kiss the boo-boos and clip her nails. I worry about how she is going to do in the world but Caroline has proven that she is of pretty sturdy stuff. They labeled her a weirdo and she embraced her inner-weirdo. She knows that things are a little different in her life than in other kids lives. We do have the self-doubts but she tends to work through them.
But I do enjoy being Caroline’s mom. She gives me perspective and a glimpse into things I had forgotten that I did/enjoyed as a kid. She trusts me to be there for her and take care of her and I don’t want to let her down. I love her so much and I want to be the best parent I can be for her.
I am grateful that I am Caroline’s Mom.
My hat is off to all the single parents of the world. Being the only one around with the responsibility for another human life is a daunting task but one I embrace with both hands. Plus Caroline is a really good hugger.
It is amazing to me how much my life changed almost 10 years ago. I went from being a step-mom to being a mom the minute they put her on my chest. My whole world shifted in an instant. Before that even though I was pregnant, a child was still sort of academic but that changes when one gets to hold that child after some of the most uncomfortable time in my life but it was all worth it.
Caroline’s birth also changed how others perceived me. I think a number of Peter’s friends didn’t really accept me until that point. They were concerned that I might be someone who was only attracted to Peter because of his status. But having a child together cemented that we were committed to each other. In the eyes of my neighbors I changed from step-mom of the David kids to a mother. I joined a club that I didn’t know really existed until that point.
Now I walk Caroline to the bus stop and talk to the other parents about all kinds of things. I participate in things at her school including the PTA and volunteering at her school’s library. The kids know me at that school by one of two, if not both, names. To some I am Mrs. David but to a lot of the children I am known as Caroline’s Mom and get called such. I really don’t mind the title at all.
Parenting is not easy. I seconded guess myself on a lot of things but I try to stick to my guns when I have drawn a line in the sand. I worry about her health and eating habits. I worry about how she is treated in school. We recently had an incident of her being told that she is not fashionable which lead to a whole “thing” about how I don’t let her express her fashion sense. I try to make sure that she get exercise and play time. I kiss the boo-boos and clip her nails. I worry about how she is going to do in the world but Caroline has proven that she is of pretty sturdy stuff. They labeled her a weirdo and she embraced her inner-weirdo. She knows that things are a little different in her life than in other kids lives. We do have the self-doubts but she tends to work through them.
But I do enjoy being Caroline’s mom. She gives me perspective and a glimpse into things I had forgotten that I did/enjoyed as a kid. She trusts me to be there for her and take care of her and I don’t want to let her down. I love her so much and I want to be the best parent I can be for her.
I am grateful that I am Caroline’s Mom.
