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puppetmakerThe Elephant in the Room? Just one? I have a whole bloody herd of Elephants in the room and it doesn’t look like they are going anywhere any time soon. A couple have left but it took a long time and some it took serious encouragement for them to do so. A couple have passed on due to life changes that make their presence no longer necessary in my life.
There are subjects that I rarely discuss in this blog or anywhere on the Internet. People can read between the lines and figure out what they think I am behind the curtain. I mostly steer away from politics and religion. Less so on other issues but I don’t tend to comment about things I know little or nothing about. I know what I believe and I am comfortable with that. So that elephant tends to sleep a lot. But on occasion it wakes up and I find myself defending what I believe to be true.
One of the elephants that I see out of the corner of my eye bothered me much more a couple of years ago than it does now. There are times when I meet people and I honestly don’t know if they are happy to meet me because of me or who my connections are. Being married to an author is cool and really neat. Having friends who are famous to one group or another is really fun too. Having connections in the various forms of publishing is interesting and educational. I have pretty good people radar and can tell when I am been schmoozed for what I have rather than who I am. And that can be annoying when I know I am being used to further another person’s end game. I don’t mind helping people but I hate being manipulated into helping.
Another elephant that rears its head is people questioning my credentials because of who my husband is. Have I had a few more opportunities than other might have? Yes, but my writing is what got me to the next step of being published. I am a strong writer and a good plotter with a decent ear for dialogue (Peter is the master of dialogue and I have learned a lot from him, but I digress). I had fanfic in my younger days that got me a lot of compliments. There is some that I really wish wasn’t out there anymore but once on the Internet nothing seems to die. Fortunately the name it is under is not one I have used in a while.
I moderate a couple of groups on the Internet. One of the elephants there is being fair to everyone and being told I am doing the exact opposite. I hate slapping down someone else but I do ask for the rules to be followed. I do the same thing as a stage manger and try to treat everyone alike. But there is always going to be people who claim that I am playing favorites and shout as loud as they can to anyone who will pay attention to them. So rumors start and elephants are created that can take some serious mental effort to dismiss.
So that’s a few of my herd that lumber around me. Thanks for reading and make sure to feed them a peanut on the way out. They are a lot quieter when fed.
There are subjects that I rarely discuss in this blog or anywhere on the Internet. People can read between the lines and figure out what they think I am behind the curtain. I mostly steer away from politics and religion. Less so on other issues but I don’t tend to comment about things I know little or nothing about. I know what I believe and I am comfortable with that. So that elephant tends to sleep a lot. But on occasion it wakes up and I find myself defending what I believe to be true.
One of the elephants that I see out of the corner of my eye bothered me much more a couple of years ago than it does now. There are times when I meet people and I honestly don’t know if they are happy to meet me because of me or who my connections are. Being married to an author is cool and really neat. Having friends who are famous to one group or another is really fun too. Having connections in the various forms of publishing is interesting and educational. I have pretty good people radar and can tell when I am been schmoozed for what I have rather than who I am. And that can be annoying when I know I am being used to further another person’s end game. I don’t mind helping people but I hate being manipulated into helping.
Another elephant that rears its head is people questioning my credentials because of who my husband is. Have I had a few more opportunities than other might have? Yes, but my writing is what got me to the next step of being published. I am a strong writer and a good plotter with a decent ear for dialogue (Peter is the master of dialogue and I have learned a lot from him, but I digress). I had fanfic in my younger days that got me a lot of compliments. There is some that I really wish wasn’t out there anymore but once on the Internet nothing seems to die. Fortunately the name it is under is not one I have used in a while.
I moderate a couple of groups on the Internet. One of the elephants there is being fair to everyone and being told I am doing the exact opposite. I hate slapping down someone else but I do ask for the rules to be followed. I do the same thing as a stage manger and try to treat everyone alike. But there is always going to be people who claim that I am playing favorites and shout as loud as they can to anyone who will pay attention to them. So rumors start and elephants are created that can take some serious mental effort to dismiss.
So that’s a few of my herd that lumber around me. Thanks for reading and make sure to feed them a peanut on the way out. They are a lot quieter when fed.
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no subject
Date: 2010-11-30 10:07 pm (UTC)I do, indeed, own that.
Totally different levels of public awareness, but I'm sort of a (moderately) big fish in my (very) small pond out here and my wife is constantly struggling with some of the same issues. Are people being nice to her because they actually want something from me? Have some of the opportunities that she's been given only occurred because she's my wife?
I feel like she has to work harder to prove herself in a lot of situations. In theater, she's held to a totally different standard than other people with similar experience levels because somehow being married to me is supposed to mean she's somehow more experienced than she is. Totally unfair.
As it happens, she's a talented, smart and fun lady in her own rights. I believe she'd be just as successful if she wasn't married to me. Maybe even more so, since people wouldn't be judging her or treating her with kid gloves, etc.
Anyhow, let me acknowledge that I'm a big fan of your husband but have no agenda vis a vis you beyond reading your entries and courting your vote for LJI.
Thought provoking entry. I might point my wife this way. I think she'd appreciate this and she'd also be able to give me a hard time for acknowledging that people treat me like a
fatbig cheese.