Honestly

[puppetmaker]

Those who have known me over the years will tell you that I am an honest person. Sometimes too honest but that’s my nature. So if I tell you something, then take it at face value because I am not one to jerk someone around. If I like your art, I’ll tell you. If I think you have a good idea, I give you credit for it. If I say I know someone, then I do know them to some degree. If I say friend about someone then I count them as such.

I know on the Internet one should be cautious to the nth degree. No one is, apparently, who they say they are. There are a lot of people who create entire other lives that they maintain on the Internet (and I’m not just talking about Second Life or World of Warcraft). Now I have met plenty people who I first met online and they are, for the most part, who they say they are in person. There are some exceptions.

But there are a set of people who hide on the Internet because they don’t want to (or can’t) deal with real life that is around them. And on the Internet, as Garrison Keillor says, "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." So they create these elaborate facades that they hide behind when they are called on their shenanigans. Especially when they are called to account for their actions in the Internet. And then there are those who say that they don’t want to tell who they really are because it would be a “bad” thing since they are super secret spies or, and probably the real reason, they are afraid of blowback in real life based on their behavior on the Internet. The more that they create the fiction, the more they do to make sure that it can’t be revealed as such. To the point that when the curtain is pulled back and the Wizard is proven a charlatan, parts of the Internet go down in flames.

I was recently questioned as to my identity or was I really who I was. I was pretty able to prove it. There are pictures of me out there that can be compared to photos in my own albums. I tend to have close to the same name for most of my handles online. I am who I say I am. I am honest about who I know and what I have done in my life. If I am being cagey about something, it usually has to do with the business and what I have been told in confidence and what is publically known or been announced. I tend to err on the side of caution because I don’t want to screw up my career with something I say here that haunts me years down the road.

Now off to finish up the next step for the Dragon Eggs.

I am grateful for all the people I have met in real life and continued that connection on the Internet.

Comments

[endora777.livejournal.com]

Ack! Trolls is trolls. There's a ton of these kinds of folks in the neopagan community. :::eyeroll::: And the stuff they come up with...!

Though I gotta say, if I had a secret internet identity, I'd tell YOU it was me. ;)

[endora777.livejournal.com]

LOL Wow, I posted that in one of the very few venues where I sorta DO keep my identity a secret. :::facepalm:::

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Interesting that. *grin* I know who you are.

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

I am not always who I say I am, but I always say I **am** who I SEE myself as being.
Because sometimes who I see myself as being is not who other people see me as being. On a good day, I might see myself as one of those wonderful women like those from from Lake Woebegone -- so that is who I will claim to be on that day...even though others would peg me as a low-budget Roseanne wannabe.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

That's a good point. It is how you see yourself also.

[scotia-sammyjo.livejournal.com]

in reply to your comment last week - I wasn't going to be able to go to D*C this year, but then some independent benefactors decided that was unacceptable and are helping me out - SO YES!!! I'll be seeing you there.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Yippie!!!!!

I am so glad to hear that

[(Anonymous)]

I can certainly agree there is a tremendous distinction between the online appearance and the offline reality - of some people. I believe that the potential for anonymity combined with the capacity to create a fictional reality gives rise to a whole new media form - the self-created online ego personae. The online freedom and capacity for creative license allows people to bring out all sorts of hidden aspects of their personalities. You're quote "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average." is very good, but it could also read "all the women are men, all the men are children, and all the children are adults.". I think the main cause for the deception is the power the online world gives. It brings out peoples hidden inner fantasies, their quests for self-empowerment, and it can protect them from any reprisals. And that becomes addictive. If a person is insecure there is nothing to stop them from embellishing their statistics, lying about their age, posting a stolen "self-pic", and inventing all sorts of amazing career details. It also empowers a person to rage without repercussion - and that gives rise to trolls and online bullies. Half the time the most virulent online demagogue is in reality either a timid teenager or a dysfunctional basement-dwelling 40-something. The internet empowers them to create a compensatory facade and live out whatever their fantasy is.

The obvious question is - how to interact with this online world with any sense of safety and tangibility. I'm with you - me online is me in real life. I am content with my real self and don't feel satisfied with any anything built from fictional embellishments. But, that said, I almost never express a strong opinion online. I don't discuss intimate details of my life, or my political/religious views, and dont talk about where I live. When I get to know someone online I wait until I feel like I've really pulled back the veil of internet - and ideally met them in person - before truly opening up to them. It's the best protection you can have. I make my livelihood online. And I've made many of my friends online. I am very grateful for everything the internet world brings into my life - but it takes a it of caution and canniness.

Partially out of that self-protection and to make the point, I'll reply anonymously. The internet is all about empowering without responsibility - tho obviously, in this case this IS my real opinion. I'd like to finish with - you do wonderful work and many of us who watch you enjoy reading your thoughts and experiences. Despite the lemons out there, there are good people online and your works and words are appreciated! :)

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you. You show a lot of thought in your reply.

I tend to shy away from politics and religion as well. Those who need to know, know and I don't care for the world to know as it were.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

me online is me in real life.

I try to honor this, too. I realized after I'd been online for a while that I wasn't going to hide -- I've never had a pseudonym (the closest I get is my Twitter name, splunge2000 (http://twitter.com/splunge2000), but I identify myself in my profile and link to my LJ which I named after me) -- because I figure that eventually I'd pass along enough details about myself that I'd be obviously me. I'd reveal myself, in other words, even if I were trying to hide behind a character. (True story: I figured out that a writer I know was also writing under a certain pseudonym. One day I asked the writer about it in person and the writer replied "You are one of maybe three people to figure that out on their own!") (Another true story: this asshat on the "Unca Harlan" board that Harlan Ellison used to post to created two personae, a jerk guy and his more reasonable wife who'd smooth things over when the guy was a jerk, and when he was caught at it (and violating the board rules) he tried to justify it as a social networking experiment. No, asshat, you were playing with people.)

I figure writing's a Rorschach test: you do it enough, you put many signs of yourself out there. And that's a fascinating process, even when used for ill. And maybe I'm at risk by doing this, but I can be both honest and careful. Wouldn't mention that...oh, yeah, I won't mention that. ;-)

[chazari.livejournal.com]

So you've figured out I'm a 6'3" 250 pound man, covered in hair, who responds to the name Bertha. Curses.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

And that took A LOT of digging believe you and me. *grin*

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

When the 400 pound Samoan man with a limp, Cheetos crumbs all over his chocolate milk mustache, and a tattoo of Nathan Fillion on his forearm tries to crash through the DragonCon crowd to say hi to you, relax, it's just me.

:)

Okay, the rest of this got so long that I decided to go post it in my own space rather than cluttering up yours. I'm glad you tickled that particular response muscle.

And no, I'm not 400 pounds, Samoan, or male. I don't like Cheetos and I don't think I've had a chocolate milk mustache since I was five or six. I don't have a tattoo on my forearm but I do limp on occasion, depending on how much of a beating I've given myself recently. But I think you pretty much knew most of that already. ;)

[miintikwa.livejournal.com]

Heh. I just recently found out that there is apparently a person on Facebook pretending to be me, so this post brings up all kinds of issues for me.

I've spent the entire time I've been on the internet trying to cultivate a reputation. I've been scrupulously honest and followed through when I said I was going to do something. And for someone to take my name and potentially destroy my reputation is really hitting me hard. I've done what I can do to address it offline, and I've tried to keep the mess out of my LJ. But I think I'd have rather stayed ignorant of what was going on. Because the waiting, the wondering if anything is going to happen from it? That's the part that is killing me.

[theafaye.livejournal.com]

Well I'm really glad I got to meet you and Caroline in real life and I hope that we can do it again one day and maybe even arrange some kind of play date for Caroline and my munchkins. You have a lovely family.