Sunshine and Snow Melt
Feb. 28th, 2010 10:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
puppetmakerTwo beautiful things at the same time.
I cleared out the way to the run off drain both in the backyard and on the street to allow for the melted snow or, as we call it, water to drain properly. Our driveway and sidewalk are clear and dry. Overall the impact of the storm was Friday morning and it was a big impact at the time, now it is just kind of pretty. I know that things are worse west of the city and that we were lucky that we just caught the edge of the storm.
Today we are off to Ariel’s college concert. We have a few things to do before that but that will be the bulk of the day.
Today’s New York Times magazine has a fascinating article on depression and some possible reasons that it is so prevalent in society today. I highly recommend it with the usual warnings that it might be trigger something so if this topic is not something you care to read about, I would avoid it. However it does bring some interesting ideas to the table. Here is the link to Depression’s Upside. Do feel free to discuss it in comments.
I am sure that most of you has heard about either Andrew Koenig or Alexander McQueen or Michael Blosil (Maria Osmond’s son). All three were treated off and on for depression and all three committed the ultimate act and killed themselves leaving their family and friends with a lot of questions. My sympathies are with all the family and friends of these men.
I understand that pit of despair that people can find themselves in. I have said before that I have suffered from depression in the past and even tried to kill myself. I was fortunate that I didn’t succeed as much as I wanted to at the time. Because I didn’t, I can sit here and watch my little girl play with her dragons and have an adventure unfold in front of me. Because I didn’t, I have been able to do things and make friends with people that I admired for years. Because I didn’t, I was able to help other people with problems so they didn’t try to do what I tried. Because I didn’t, I can be here for my husband.
Depression is more that not being able to cheer up. We all have sad times in our lives because that is part of life. But there are times that it does become too much and one can find themselves in a very deep pit with, what seems, no way out. And that is dangerous over time. It does affect those around you. It does affect your “quality of life” (I do sooo hate that phrase but it is one of the current buzz phrases so I use it). Sometimes it works itself out and sometimes one needs help to see the upside to things before the downside is all that they see.
Considering all that has happened recently, including some stuff that is rather personal, I have decided to be more open about my depression and my suicide attempts in hopes that my speaking out that in the long term it does get better and you never know what around the next corner will help others to get to that corner and not take themselves off the gameboard.
So read the article and let’s have some discussion here about it. The usual rules of politeness and civility will be in place.
I am grateful that I didn’t succeed in my plans to end my life.
I cleared out the way to the run off drain both in the backyard and on the street to allow for the melted snow or, as we call it, water to drain properly. Our driveway and sidewalk are clear and dry. Overall the impact of the storm was Friday morning and it was a big impact at the time, now it is just kind of pretty. I know that things are worse west of the city and that we were lucky that we just caught the edge of the storm.
Today we are off to Ariel’s college concert. We have a few things to do before that but that will be the bulk of the day.
Today’s New York Times magazine has a fascinating article on depression and some possible reasons that it is so prevalent in society today. I highly recommend it with the usual warnings that it might be trigger something so if this topic is not something you care to read about, I would avoid it. However it does bring some interesting ideas to the table. Here is the link to Depression’s Upside. Do feel free to discuss it in comments.
I am sure that most of you has heard about either Andrew Koenig or Alexander McQueen or Michael Blosil (Maria Osmond’s son). All three were treated off and on for depression and all three committed the ultimate act and killed themselves leaving their family and friends with a lot of questions. My sympathies are with all the family and friends of these men.
I understand that pit of despair that people can find themselves in. I have said before that I have suffered from depression in the past and even tried to kill myself. I was fortunate that I didn’t succeed as much as I wanted to at the time. Because I didn’t, I can sit here and watch my little girl play with her dragons and have an adventure unfold in front of me. Because I didn’t, I have been able to do things and make friends with people that I admired for years. Because I didn’t, I was able to help other people with problems so they didn’t try to do what I tried. Because I didn’t, I can be here for my husband.
Depression is more that not being able to cheer up. We all have sad times in our lives because that is part of life. But there are times that it does become too much and one can find themselves in a very deep pit with, what seems, no way out. And that is dangerous over time. It does affect those around you. It does affect your “quality of life” (I do sooo hate that phrase but it is one of the current buzz phrases so I use it). Sometimes it works itself out and sometimes one needs help to see the upside to things before the downside is all that they see.
Considering all that has happened recently, including some stuff that is rather personal, I have decided to be more open about my depression and my suicide attempts in hopes that my speaking out that in the long term it does get better and you never know what around the next corner will help others to get to that corner and not take themselves off the gameboard.
So read the article and let’s have some discussion here about it. The usual rules of politeness and civility will be in place.
I am grateful that I didn’t succeed in my plans to end my life.
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no subject
Date: 2010-02-28 04:25 pm (UTC)Me too. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-02-28 06:49 pm (UTC)*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2010-03-01 02:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-01 02:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-28 04:51 pm (UTC)The article conveys well how huge the problem of depression is; most of the analysis quoted within it of what depression is seems to touch on truth, or at least jibe with what I've seen in the people I've known who've been depressed. I don't know if I've ever been truly depressed, but I have been frustrated and down many times; I'm loath to say I'm depressed because I've known many people who have clinical, diagnosed cases of it. And -- difficult detail alert -- I know at least one person who did commit suicide due to depression.
I've seen depression enough to, I think, be aware if its warning signs, so I can be there for friends who are living through it. My tendency to be an emotional sponge can become an issue, but I try to be extra-aware of where the difficult feelings are coming from. Were I not aware of how I can be a sponge, I might have more problems of my own...and also not be as good a friend as my friends need when they're dealing with depression. I wouldn't be as good at noticing what they're feeling. Empathy: it has its own difficulties, but ultimately I glad I have some empathy.
Moments of clarity can be hard-fought no matter how you get to them. I've gotten to them from grief, from frustration, from having a deep crush on somebody at a time when I wasn't working and thus had no money but plenty of time to just walk all over Portland pondering how the hell I felt about her. But I've gotten to those moments of clarity, and I've felt the relief of finding an answer, or even just part of an answer. May more people find relief.
There is probably more that can be said, but I do want to get this sent out so people can read it.
May you and the rest of us find the good kind of peace.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-01 02:31 pm (UTC)Amen
I think we honestly call too many things depression. I think like the Eskimos have a bunch of words for snow, we need a bunch of words to describe depression. When we try to put something so varied into one box, it just doesn't work well.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-28 04:56 pm (UTC)Second, I think that's the terrifying thing about depression. We all think the person has it made...until we realize the awful truth. My classmate Damian killed himself a few weeks ago...and we're still in shock. We all thought he was king of the world...and if he had only voiced to us the pain he was feeling, 119 students would have ran to stand with him and tell him we care.
Thank you for this entry. I'm right now going through one of those low times and trying to just get through it, and reading this entry helped. I'm not at the suicidal edge now, I'm at the "why do I get out of bed?" and it makes me feel better to know people I admire had their days in the Dark Forest.
Hugs.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-01 02:32 pm (UTC)*hugs* back atcha.
I think if more people knew that others have traversed the Dark Forest and came out on the other side, they might have a little more hope that they can do it too.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-28 05:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-01 02:34 pm (UTC)Yeah I am pretty happy that I have the chance to look over my life and see what had to happen for me to be where I am today.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-01 02:03 am (UTC)I'm very glad you didn't succeed - I'd hate to ever lose anyone else that way and there seems to be a real spate at the moment. There were a couple of other stories in the UK papers recently and they're all people who, from the outside looking in, should have everything to live for.
I'm all for talking more about this - the more we make it easier for people to ask for help when times get rough, the more we can hopefully help them through to the other side.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-01 02:36 pm (UTC)Yep. I think that if people know that others have been there and that they do understand and there is hope, we might avoid some of these snap decisions that can't be undone.
I am sorry about your friend.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-01 07:10 pm (UTC)My husband was diagnosed with depression several years ago. He now believes he was misdiagnosed and actually had/has an anxiety disorder - those two are tricky because the symptoms mirror each other and and it can be very difficult to tell what is cause and what is effect, as well as what should actually be treated. In some ways the medication he took did more harm than good.
It isn't easy to care for someone with depression and/or anxiety, and many times I catch myself thinking "Just snap out of it!" - which I know perfectly well isn't possible. My heart goes out to the sufferers, and to those caring for them. A lot of the time it seems like all I can do is just be there, and I constantly pray that it will be enough.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-08 08:47 pm (UTC)