LJ Idol Season 6 Topic 3 Smile

[puppetmaker]

This is my entry for the third week of the LJ Idol. I have cut it for length and subject material. Nothing NWS (not work safe) but I do talk about depression which I know is a topic that some people would rather avoid.


I can’t remember the first time I heard the song Smile. Given my parents record collection that had a little bit of everything, I am betting that it was some Saturday morning while my mother was cleaning. She always played music while she worked when I was a kid.

It made me happy and sad all at the same time but I didn’t understand why because the song was called Smile It wasn’t until years later when I read through the lyrics that I understood why I had such mixed feeling about one song. On the one hand it is encouraging you to smile but on the other it is encouraging you to smile during extremely hard and sad times in your life when your impulse very well might to do anything but smile.

It seems rather harsh to tell someone who is sad to smile and to hide what is going on inside but it happens all the time. How many times have you heard “It takes more muscles to frown than to smile” in an overly cheerful voice? Or “Smile, it can’t be that bad’? It bothered me when I was a child and it still annoys a small part of me as an adult. Why can’t we just show on our faces how we feel? Why must sadness be hidden behind the mask of cheerfulness? Maybe because we made it the social norm like answering the question, “How’s it going?” with the perfunctory “Good” or “Well” rather than saying what might really be on our mind. We know that the question is only polite conversation so we respond with a polite reply as not to burden the person with our problems.

But there is another part of the song that is all about hope for the future. That things maybe bad now but they will get better. There may be clouds now but eventually the sun does come through if you can just hold on for the change. The lyrics acknowledge that things are bad now. That there is hurt and sadness within and this is part of the human condition. But happiness is also part of the human condition and it is just out there maybe just out of reach but some day it will come into reach. There are days that it seems impossible that we will ever be happy again but, in time, we find ourselves smiling on our own rather than forcing a smile onto our face.

I have experience this myself over the years. There were times in my life that I really couldn’t see anything but clouds and darkness. There are times that I have been at the bottom of a deep dark well of despair. And there have been a few times that I have tried to end it all. But I am still here and those dark times don’t seem as bad as they felt at the time.

But eventually the sun did come out and my life did get better. I kept smiling until I was really smiling because I was happy again. Right now I am doing OK. My life is not perfect but nor is it a total mess. I am sad at times, frustrated at time, but I am also happy and content. So when those clouds come in, I try to remember that there is sunshine in my life and good things. I smile and I feel a little better.

I was surprised to learn that the music, which is in stark contrast to the words, was composed by Charlie Chaplin the silent film star for his film Modern Times.

I leave you with the lyrics to Smile and suggest that if you have never heard the song, that you look it up on youtube. There are several videos with Nat Cole singing this haunting song.

Smile
Theme Music for Modern Times
(Music by Charles "Charlie" Chaplin -- Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons)

Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even tho' it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by,

If you smile
thro' your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shin-ing thro' for you

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev-'ry trace of sadness,
Al -'tho a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time,
You must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worth-while,

If you just smile...



I hope you like this and will vote for me when it comes up at the end of the week

Comments

[stormkitty.livejournal.com]

Great entry. And yeah, I've always hated that it's not acceptable to deal with pain and sadness when I've felt it. Hiding it behind a smile, for me, makes it hang on longer because I haven't dealt with it.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I guess part of it has to do with this one size fits all mentality that our society has taken when it comes to our emotional health. We are taught from a young age what is expected of us in public and how we are suppose to act within society. When we deviate, we can make others "uncomfortable" which disturbs them.

So we smile in public and deal in private.

[cacophonesque.livejournal.com]

I've also suffered from depression, and there really is something inspiring in that song. In particular, that last stanza about how you must keep trying, and finding that life is still worth-while.

Smiling really does seem to have a magical power to lift the mood, even when you think there's no hope.

Very nice post.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

It took me a long time to realize that a smile could make me feel better and others feel better.

Life is worth-while and I think it is good to remind ourselves of that at times.

[readinggeek451]

Very appropriate for this topic: Australian study shows that being grumpy is good for you.

I'm glad you're still around and can still smile.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

I saw that and had a good chuckle over it.

It does make sense that you are more suspicious when you are down because you are more on your guard.

Thanks. I'm glad you are around too.

[playmoby.livejournal.com]

Thank you for writing this, it was wonderful. :)

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading it.

[brand0new0day.livejournal.com]

When I'm sad, I prefer to be sad and I'm not usually one to compromise about that. I agree that it's a bit weird when people pretty much insist that you be happy all the time for their benefit.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

It had become a social norm that is kind of scary. If you aren't happy then something is wrong with you which is not a healthy mind set.

[baxaphobia.livejournal.com]

I love that song! It's sad and hopeful.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

You are right. It is both and it is interesting that some hear one side of the song and some hear the other.

[rejeneration.livejournal.com]

This is a subject so near and dear to my heart and I've never understood all the cynicism and question that's surround the topic. All I have to say about it is that I'm so happy you found your happy. -smile-

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I am glad that I found my happy too.

[dungeonwriter.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for this entry. I'm having a tough time and knowing someone who I admire, who has achieved the trifecta of awesome, a career she loves, a great family and friends who love her, it makes me think there is hope for me. Thank you.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

You sell yourself short. You are a great person.

Thanks for reading.

[dungeonwriter.livejournal.com]

Hugs, you're right, I am!

And thanks for writing. Hope to meet up with you at a con and see more of your great puppets, if law school doesn't end me.

[kittenboo.livejournal.com]

i'm glad the sun did come out for you :)

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thanks. And thanks for reading.

[onda-bianca.livejournal.com]

I've become very "good" at hiding sadness under a smile.

I'm glad you're okay and hope you find lots of real smiles!

[solstice-singer.livejournal.com]

A definite vote from me.

You're so right. Smiling is the acceptable thing to do, even when we aren't feeling it. Still, we must remember what is good in life, lest despair overtake us.

[shadowwolf13]

Awesome song! Thanks for sharing. :D

[spydielives.livejournal.com]

There were times in my life that I really couldn’t see anything but clouds and darkness. There are times that I have been at the bottom of a deep dark well of despair. And there have been a few times that I have tried to end it all. But I am still here and those dark times don’t seem as bad as they felt at the time.

Been there, and probably will be again. But I am ok with that. It is knowing that if I manage to survive that dark time, that deep well, I will see light and sunshine again. Knowledge is power, and sometimes that smile on my face is me telling the world "I will not be defeated, and neither will you."

You know? Actually, based on this entry I think you do.

[joeymichaels.livejournal.com]

I'm in theater and always thought that this song was actually intended to be aimed at performers specifically - we're, of course, trained to drop everything going on in our lives when we get to rehearsal or performance.

The thought that it is actually aimed at everyone never occurred to me and makes me rather sad.

I mean, its one thing to encourage somebody to drop their baggage at the door before trying to entertain an audience and another thing entirely to say "cheer up" to people who are going through heartache or worse.

That all said, Chaplin continues to amaze.

[pixiebelle.livejournal.com]

Maybe because we made it the social norm like answering the question, “How’s it going?” with the perfunctory “Good” or “Well” rather than saying what might really be on our mind. We know that the question is only polite conversation so we respond with a polite reply as not to burden the person with our problems.

This always confused me. I thought when people asked, they wanted to know. I didn't make friends very easily because I always told the truth. I almost wrote about this for the empty gestures entry but had to take a bye instead. Why must we hide our true feelings just to not burden others? If you don't care how i am really doing, than don't bother asking. When I ask, I want to hear the truth...but apparently I am a minority.

[plastrickland23.livejournal.com]

I try to be pleasant and not put all my troubles out there for others who are not involved, but it is a tough call to figure out between being fake, avoidance of the issue or just being courteous to bystanders. We do the best we can...P.

[mstrobel.livejournal.com]

Love the song. And love your entry as well. It really struck a chord with me. <3

[sherriola.livejournal.com]

Great analysis of the song and the contradictory impression it can leave. I love the song, but sometimes I resent the hell out of it! In high school, my dad's wife told me that everyone liked me when I was happy but didn't when I wasn't. i've learned that lesson far too well, and tend to lead people to believe everything is terrific when it isn't. But people who know me, know that if I answer the old how are you, with an OK, then something isn't very ok. anyway, sorry to go on and on there, but I really liked this entry and can strongly relate to it.

[eggsnail.livejournal.com]

This is awesome. I did my entry on this EXACT thing. I love the song Smile. It's beautiful and it means a lot to me. I'm so glad someone else loves it like I do!

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I am glad that someone else thought of the song too.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_mysticalelf/]

Great entry. :)

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much and thank you for reading.

[m-malcontent.livejournal.com]

Fine entry...I've had some down times too. Nothing clinical (that I am aware of) but depression nonetheless.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

I think we all get down from time to time. There is nothing wrong with it. It is part of human nature.

What I think is wrong is this idea that we must be happy all the time or we are failures.

[soundscool1.livejournal.com]

I'm also not a fan of smiling when I don't feel like it. People need to be allowed to be down in the dumps every now and then.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

I so agree.

[dreamchaser.livejournal.com]

I agree completely - it is harsh to tell someone who is sad to hide their feelings. That societal norm really annoys me - part of being human is experiencing a variety of emotions.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. And I really wonder where this idea of of social norm comes from. I did some poking about the internet but nothing really leapt out at me.

[imafarmgirl.livejournal.com]

I love the song. I thought of it for this entry, I thought of writing about my chronic pain, but I went a whole different direction. Great song though.

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

I've never understood why it's not acceptable to express some emotions but it is to show others. I wear my heart on my sleeve; what I feel shows plainly and I don't mask it. It's not fair to those around me and I generally end up breaking at some point which makes the whole effort a sham.