LJ Idol 6 Week One Empty Gestures

[puppetmaker]

I hate empty gestures. Insincerity drives me up a tree. I much prefer honesty rather than a weak try at empathizing with something or someone that means nothing to either party.

I have to say that this goes back to my childhood. I always knew when I was being hosed by others. My gut was something that I trusted to show me the truth of the matter. I knew when I was being pushed off to the side or marginalized by others and it really made me very angry. I would seethe about it for weeks.

It wasn’t until I was in grad school that I learned how to deal with those types of gestures and those types of people. A wise stage manager told me that although you might not like everyone you worked with nor may everyone like you either, you have to find a way to make it work. But when your drinking buddy screws up, you have to call them on it and be as even handed as you can be within the confines of the work space. Never play favorites for it will bite you on the ass. And remember that when you leave the work-space, leave any negativity there.

Those words served me well during my career as a stage manager. Stage Managers get reputations when they work in an area a lot. Mine was consistently Firm but Fair. And that was fine by me. Actors knew that with me within the confines of the rehearsal space or the performance space that everyone was treated the same. Problems were listened to without favoritism and the solution wouldn’t take my friendship with someone in as a factor.

And that is the way I expected to be treated by my cast and crew. For the most part it worked in my favor. I also got the rep of being able to work with impossible actors and directors and getting them to do what needs to be done. People like to know that they have been heard and understood. I even managed to get one actor with a drug habit to abstain from the habit while at rehearsal or before performance which amazed their friends.

I still get angered by being patronized and being praised with faint damns, but I have learned to deal with it. There are times that I wished that I had learned those lessons earlier in my life, but I don’t think I was ready to listen and understand before I did. And I think I am a better person for it.

This was my entry for the 6th Season of LJ Idol. If you liked it, please vote for me when the time comes since I will be somewhere in New Zealand and unsure if I will have Internet at the time

Comments

[stormkitty.livejournal.com]

Firm but fair is hard to do sometimes. I commend those who are able to do it.

[baxaphobia.livejournal.com]

I agree about leaving negativity at the door. I try my best to do that. Also playing favorites at work just gets everyone in a snit!

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

I don't really have a work situation that I would have to consider that, but I like the Firm but Fair ideal.

[latinanewschic.livejournal.com]

This is good. It is nice to have a reputation for being able to work with people, even if you can't stand them and would otherwise avoid them at all costs if not at work.

[poppetawoppet.livejournal.com]

Firm but fair for the WIN

[jenandbronze.livejournal.com]

Great entry. I rather to be firm and fair, but sometimes my big mouth gets in the way (a little too honest LOL!)

Interesting take on the entry, so you have my vote.

[shadowwolf13]

I think you're a wonderful person! Firm but Fair is always a great thing to be known as. :)

[cacophonesque.livejournal.com]

I strive very much to be firm but fair. I know that at times my biases come out--but it's something that I keep in mind. It also gets me in trouble sometimes, because my friends expect me to side with them out of friendship.

[teaberryblue.livejournal.com]

This is definitely so true. It isn't worth seething over the kind of bitter and nasty things other people do.

My mom sort of gave me this advice when I was in high school. She said to me that I was one of the most talented actors she knew (which was flattery, I don't think I was at all, looking back), and rather than letting people upset me so much, I should take it as a challenge and play the part of someone who isn't upset. And it worked!

[joeymichaels.livejournal.com]

I direct more these days, but I started off stage managing and everything you say about the importance of making things work is spot on. I learned that was my primary job as a SM when I first started too - make it work, hold things together.

Stage managers are the (largely) invisible glue that holds the whole show together.

[onda-bianca.livejournal.com]

Firm and fair is good. :)

[edith-jones.livejournal.com]

I do try to be firm but fair but don't know how good I am at it. I totally suck at leaving negativity at the door - my home problems follow me to work and my work problems follow me home. Have you got a solution for me?! I enjoyed this piece, honestly, as it made me think, and I admire the stance you've been able to take.

Hope you're having a good vacation.
-Allie.