Being an Adult

[puppetmaker]

In some ways I feel that I never grew up. I am tricking people into believing that I am an adult. I can remember on my 18th birthday my parents took me out to dinner and my father talked about the fact that now I was 18, I was a legal adult and now have all the rights and responsibilities that magically happen because I turned a certain age. And he was going to give me the great secret of being an adult. He handed me a small package. In the package was a Mr. Spock Action figure from the first film and he said, “You never really do. But you will figure out how over time.”

And over time I have become an adult. There are times I wish I could go back and tell myself some stuff to avoid or try but these were learning experiences which has made the person I am. Good and bad, it has all shaped me into the person I am today.

My life changed and time passed but I didn’t really notice much until I had a child. And my entire world changed and speed up to a rate I never knew possible. Also I swear my brain rewired while I was pregnant with her. My priorities changed and over night I grew up and became the parent rather than just a step-parent.

I now get to say “No” and when queried as to why I can use that immortal line, “Because I am your mother and I said so.” Which I have to say that when I was a kid I swore I would never say to my child but there it is. There is a lot as a child that I said I would or wouldn’t do to my child that I find myself doing exactly what my parents did to me. And I do thank them for raising me so well that I did become the kind of adult I am.

It doesn’t mean I have lost my inner child at all. Peter’s inner child and mine like to play together a lot. Last night we found Buckaroo Banzai on and we quoted lines and giggled our way through the movie. There is a silly level at this house that I am totally comfortable with and revel in. But that is partly because Peter and I are so compatible.

I am an adult. I have certain rights and privileges that were granted to me on my 18th birthday and my parents were no longer legally responsible for my actions not that they didn’t help me when I really needed it. They have been aces in the support department. Now I have to help my child get ready to become an adult in today’s rapidly changing society. And I hope I can do as good as job as my parents did for me. I do know that what I do now will shape the woman she will become in the future just as my parents did with me. And I am proud that I can do that.

I am grateful to my parents for giving me such a solid foundation to help me become the adult I am today.

Comments

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

My uncle answered the question best.

He said, "The trick to being an adult is figuring out how to be yourself and an adult at the same time."

If I ever learn cross-stitch, that's going on a pillow or in a frame.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

I like that a lot.

[ladytalker13.livejournal.com]

I have to say that I really enjoy reading your blogs. This one made me feel a little envious and a little proud at the same time.

The envious part comes because I grew up in a broken home with virtually no support system. What I learned about being an adult and a decent person came in bits and pieces from other places... Two of the young mothers in neighborhood I babysat for showed me how much fun being a mom is, and how a family works. A special teacher encouraged my love of reading and taught me how to independently learn about things that caught my curiosity. My next-door neighbor whom I cleaned house with weekly (for rollerskating money) introduced me to working women and strong Earl Grey tea.

The proud part comes because I raised two strong, independent, decent people and sent them out into the world able to handle the situations life throws at them with grace and love. This may sound like a brag, but to me, this is the best thing I have done or will do in my life. They both are making loving families and raising children who will have a solid foundation in life.

When I read about the life your family has, Kathleen, it warms my heart and reassures me that there are still strong families being built out there, despite all the sensationalism of the media and the negativity in our society. Thank you for sharing!

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading.

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

18 was not "the" adult birthday back in the day. It used to be 21. I did not regard my kids as adults upon turning 18...the princessbride was an adult at 16, the favoriteson still is a kid at 24.
It is all a state of mind.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

When I turned 18 it was the age for alcohol and the full drivers license along with the ability to sign a legally binding contract. It went to 21 but I was grandfathered in having turned 18 before the law was enacted.

[millysdaughter.livejournal.com]

New Mexico was still at 21 until sometime in the 70s. Across the line in Texas, it was 18 to drink legally.
Road trip, anyone?

[wherdafux-d-cat.livejournal.com]

Peter’s inner child and mine like to play together a lot.

We're much the same way. Especially when we're taking turns getting each other into random, silly 'trouble' when we're out running errands, eating dinner, and other 'normal' things. I wouldn't miss it for the world.