Khids and Khanventions
Jan. 23rd, 2009 10:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
puppetmakerI started going to science fiction conventions in my early teens and over 30 years later I still enjoy going to a good convention. My position at a convention has changed over the years from paying fan, to paying con staff, to con staff, to guest and now professional guest and I have enjoyed each step along the way.
Now I have children to think about when I go to a convention and that can change the convention experience. I have bedtimes to think about and wake up times as well which keeps me honest about my bedtime. I have to make sure the kids are fed and not just ho-hos from the con suite and yes I have survived on just con suite food but then Chattacon makes sure that they have real food in the con suite. I have to make sure that they are having fun too.
My kids grew up going to conventions. They learned the rules early in the game and they know what is expected of them. They know about their parents being on a panel means that they can't be disturbed at that time. They have walked a lot of art shows with me. They have gone to parties that they are allowed to go to and understand if they can't go into a certain party. They have eaten their share of banquet dinners. They know conventions and what goes on at conventions.
A lot of parents' debate about bringing their children to a convention and I have to say that it is very much a personal choice for each parent and each kid. I know some families that make conventions the family vacation with their kids. I know parents that bring some kids to conventions and not others because they know the other kids would be bored silly at the convention. I know parents who just don't bring their kids to conventions and use it as their time away from the kids. And there are conventions that parents bring their kids to and conventions that they don't. Parents know their kids better than anyone and they, as parents, have the responsibility of making the choice for their minor children if they come to the convention or not.
Shows like Farpoint and Shoreleave are very family friendly. They are like big families to us. The regulars know our kids and we know that our kids are going to behave because they know that the con staff know who to come to if there is a problem. Both of these conventions encourage families to come as families and enjoy the convention together. World Fantasy or World Horror or Costume Con are not a conventions I would take Caroline to but I would take Ariel because she would get something out of it. LunaCon bends over backwards to have things for the kids to do while the adults go to panels during the day but at night the parents have to sort out who does what when going to evening panels.
Then there are the much larger conventions like the San Diego Comic Con, Toronto Expo, New York Comic Con, and MegaCon. These conventions can be a wear and tear on the adults due to the scope of the venue and can be very hard on younger children. We take the kids to these because Peter is a guest and we have already worked out places to go with the kids if they need a break from the convention. If nothing else they can sit behind the table that Peter is signing at which I know that a lot of other kids there don't have the option for.
Then there is DragonCon which is a convention like no other. It has something for just about everyone. Last year Ariel came with us to the convention and Caroline spent the weekend with my parents by her choice. Before that Caroline spent the convention with us and we juggled the schedules so someone could watch her. She had fun in childcare and at the convention as a whole but when given the choice, she wanted to spend time with her grandparents. When she is older, she will probably come with us to DragonCon but right now it is not her cup of tea which is fine because we have options.
There seems to be a debate of whether DragonCon is "appropriate" for children among the people who go to the convention especially after the evening festivities kick in. Well there is the Yule Ball and the Shire party and other dances and things that kids can go to and have fun.
But there are people who feel having kids around "limits" them at DragonCon at night. The more I read about how they feel limited the more I realize that they feel like they can't act like bratty children. They can't become drunken idiots which honestly having children around isn't stopping them to do. They can't express their true selves, which they would be arrested for in most municipalities for public exposure. They don't feel comfortable "being themselves" around kids which should tell them something right there about what they are doing in public. If you know that you are going to be embarrassed the next day by what you are doing in front of others, maybe you should reconsider that behavior.
On the flip side, parents are responsible for their children. DragonCon has things that are adults only for a good reason and they are listed as such. So when a parent can't take their 5 year old into the Dawn Look-a-like contest, they shouldn't be surprised especially when the signage outside the panel room and the program book list this as 18 and up. If your child is in a panel and making a lot of noise then maybe you should taken them out to the hall where they can catch their breath so that the panelist and the audience can hear what is being said. If your child doesn't want to be in the costume contest, don't force them. Some kids love it and others don't want anything to do with it. Feed your child on their regular schedule and yourself, you will feel better. DragonCon can be fun with children but you have to plan for it like any convention.
Conventions can be fun for the whole family but it takes an effort on the parent's part and a little on the convention's part. Some parents, I think, need to be reminded that the convention is not there to baby-sit your children. Some attendants of the convention need to be reminded that they need to think about their behavior and whether they want to find it on the Internet or the topic of conversation for the next day at the convention. It is a balancing act but one that I think can be done.
I am grateful for my convention experiences with my khids and without my khids.
Now I have children to think about when I go to a convention and that can change the convention experience. I have bedtimes to think about and wake up times as well which keeps me honest about my bedtime. I have to make sure the kids are fed and not just ho-hos from the con suite and yes I have survived on just con suite food but then Chattacon makes sure that they have real food in the con suite. I have to make sure that they are having fun too.
My kids grew up going to conventions. They learned the rules early in the game and they know what is expected of them. They know about their parents being on a panel means that they can't be disturbed at that time. They have walked a lot of art shows with me. They have gone to parties that they are allowed to go to and understand if they can't go into a certain party. They have eaten their share of banquet dinners. They know conventions and what goes on at conventions.
A lot of parents' debate about bringing their children to a convention and I have to say that it is very much a personal choice for each parent and each kid. I know some families that make conventions the family vacation with their kids. I know parents that bring some kids to conventions and not others because they know the other kids would be bored silly at the convention. I know parents who just don't bring their kids to conventions and use it as their time away from the kids. And there are conventions that parents bring their kids to and conventions that they don't. Parents know their kids better than anyone and they, as parents, have the responsibility of making the choice for their minor children if they come to the convention or not.
Shows like Farpoint and Shoreleave are very family friendly. They are like big families to us. The regulars know our kids and we know that our kids are going to behave because they know that the con staff know who to come to if there is a problem. Both of these conventions encourage families to come as families and enjoy the convention together. World Fantasy or World Horror or Costume Con are not a conventions I would take Caroline to but I would take Ariel because she would get something out of it. LunaCon bends over backwards to have things for the kids to do while the adults go to panels during the day but at night the parents have to sort out who does what when going to evening panels.
Then there are the much larger conventions like the San Diego Comic Con, Toronto Expo, New York Comic Con, and MegaCon. These conventions can be a wear and tear on the adults due to the scope of the venue and can be very hard on younger children. We take the kids to these because Peter is a guest and we have already worked out places to go with the kids if they need a break from the convention. If nothing else they can sit behind the table that Peter is signing at which I know that a lot of other kids there don't have the option for.
Then there is DragonCon which is a convention like no other. It has something for just about everyone. Last year Ariel came with us to the convention and Caroline spent the weekend with my parents by her choice. Before that Caroline spent the convention with us and we juggled the schedules so someone could watch her. She had fun in childcare and at the convention as a whole but when given the choice, she wanted to spend time with her grandparents. When she is older, she will probably come with us to DragonCon but right now it is not her cup of tea which is fine because we have options.
There seems to be a debate of whether DragonCon is "appropriate" for children among the people who go to the convention especially after the evening festivities kick in. Well there is the Yule Ball and the Shire party and other dances and things that kids can go to and have fun.
But there are people who feel having kids around "limits" them at DragonCon at night. The more I read about how they feel limited the more I realize that they feel like they can't act like bratty children. They can't become drunken idiots which honestly having children around isn't stopping them to do. They can't express their true selves, which they would be arrested for in most municipalities for public exposure. They don't feel comfortable "being themselves" around kids which should tell them something right there about what they are doing in public. If you know that you are going to be embarrassed the next day by what you are doing in front of others, maybe you should reconsider that behavior.
On the flip side, parents are responsible for their children. DragonCon has things that are adults only for a good reason and they are listed as such. So when a parent can't take their 5 year old into the Dawn Look-a-like contest, they shouldn't be surprised especially when the signage outside the panel room and the program book list this as 18 and up. If your child is in a panel and making a lot of noise then maybe you should taken them out to the hall where they can catch their breath so that the panelist and the audience can hear what is being said. If your child doesn't want to be in the costume contest, don't force them. Some kids love it and others don't want anything to do with it. Feed your child on their regular schedule and yourself, you will feel better. DragonCon can be fun with children but you have to plan for it like any convention.
Conventions can be fun for the whole family but it takes an effort on the parent's part and a little on the convention's part. Some parents, I think, need to be reminded that the convention is not there to baby-sit your children. Some attendants of the convention need to be reminded that they need to think about their behavior and whether they want to find it on the Internet or the topic of conversation for the next day at the convention. It is a balancing act but one that I think can be done.
I am grateful for my convention experiences with my khids and without my khids.
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no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 04:45 pm (UTC)That changed a few years ago as she got more involved in gaming and manga. Now we pretty much let her go where she wants at Archon, though she is required to stay in touch. She and I have been in two group masquerade entries (both award winners), and we have a fine old time.
On a side note, Shelby does have the distinction of having been excessively cuddled by a Doctor Who companion. Sophie Aldred was at the 1992 TARDISCON; she took one look at our baby, and we were lucky she gave the kid back!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 04:58 pm (UTC)The guest at this particular con? George Takei! I remember waiting in line for his autograph, where I talked with the guys in front of me. They had been to several cons before, and were comparing George to other guests (he rated as one of their favorites), as did James Doohan. Before I knew it, it was my turn in line, and I was suddenly shell-shocked. George, though, was very gracious, smiled warmly at me and invited me over. He asked me my name and autographed the picture I had. (I'd like to note I was expecting just a scribbling of his name, and instead I got a personalized autograph with "Keep on trekkin'!")
When he was done, he didn't rush me off to get to the next autograph. I think he was amused at my being star struck, even though it was a sight he's seen thousands of times before. Of all the conventions I've been to, that one is still my favorite, and one of these days, I'd like to go to another convention with him and thank him for making that first convention of mine so memorable.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 05:34 pm (UTC)Normally a Masq Clerk stays in the background and lets the judges do their thing. George would hear none of it. He insisted that I join them at the table because "You are our an-i-me expert!"
He's the greatest guest I've ever met, bar none.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 05:43 pm (UTC)I'm not a parent... I'm "just" an auntie. But I think enough like a kid to know what kids like, and I've always enjoyed watching parents like you who know what a kid will and won't enjoy. There is a place for kids in fandom, and I'm very appreciative of the growing trend to have something for everyone at cons.
You also remind me of one of my favorite con memories. I think it was in either 1988 or 1989, at a Creation convention that Michael and I had free passes to [for poor students, that was a blessing]. Mark Lenard was there at a table, and instead of signing autographs he was surrounded by six or seven children, telling them fairy tales, while their parents looked on in wonderment.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-23 09:47 pm (UTC)One of the things that's really made me happy is seeing the increase of kids at Doctor Who cons lately. I'm not a kid person by any stretch, but there's just something about seeing kids running around being the Doctor or a Dalek that makes me incredibly gleeful.
no subject
Date: 2009-01-25 11:45 pm (UTC)We're fortunate that we have lots of friends who help with Eleanor at the con, plus a very very good friend who watches her on the night of the ball, not because I wouldn't want her there, but because it's past her bedtime and I have stuff I gotta juggle. It wouldn't be fair to her to go and not have "mom time."
What bothers me is when folks take teens to cons and don't supervise them. I see kids wandering around by themselves all the time at D*Con. Atlanta is a big city and there are good and bad folks wherever you go.
Good post.