LJ Idol 4.5 Sexual Ethics and Human Nature

[puppetmaker]

Nothing really titillating under here just not every one's cuppa so I am giving the op-out option.



I believe that most of you know the story of the scorpion and the turtle. It is a very old tale.

A turtle was happily swimming along a river when a scorpion hailed it from the shore.

"Dear friend turtle!" called the scorpion. "Please let me climb upon your back and swim me to the other side of the river!"

"No," replied the turtle, "for if I do, you shall sting me, and I shall die."

"Nonsense!" replied the scorpion. "If I kill you in the middle of the river, you shall sink, and I shall drown and die with you."

The turtle thought this over, and saw the truth of the scorpion's statement. He let it upon his back and began swimming towards the other side of the river. Halfway across, he felt a sharp pain in the back of his neck.

"Why have you stung me?!" cried the turtle as his body began to stiffen. "Now you shall die as well!"

"Because it is in my nature," replied the scorpion as the turtle sank beneath the waters..

Human nature is a funny thing. We have studied it probably as long as we have studied anything. We have created ways of controlling our based instincts with reason, logic and ethics.

Ethics is a subject that I have studied for many years. I find it kind of odd the way that a lot of people pay lip service to ethics but do almost the opposite of what they believe.

This just magnifies ten fold when you add sex and sexual nature into the mix. I am an observer. I like observing the world around me and analyzing it for my own amusement. And I have observed the human animal on its best behavior and its worst over the years.

We talk about sexual harassment. We all agree (or most of us) that it is a bad thing. We have created a set of laws to define our ethics on this matter but we have couched the language so that it will cover a lot of beliefs. In some cases making these laws ineffectual and in others Draconian.

We talk about 'don't ask; don't tell.' The Military doesn't want to know what you do in the bed room and honestly I think that is the attitude to take. Why should we care what happens in other people's bedroom as long as no one is getting hurt or abused. But we do. Look at the amount of material about sex out on the net (well, don't or you'll never finish this article). Or on the news or in movies or just about any form of entertainment (even Sponge Bob) has some sort of sexual element so we regulate it and come up with odd reasons like 'for the children'.

But sex sells. The sex industry is a consistent money maker. It has been through out human history. And we have created ethical guidelines through out human history to tell others what is allowed and not allowed. And that has changed greatly over time. What was allowed in the bible is, in a number of cases, now thought un-ethical. Ethics change with the times as do the social morays of the group. What was once acceptable is no more and was what once was not acceptable is.

I am a firm believer in personal responsibility. My parents instilled that in me. Part of my responsibility is how I treat others. And part of that are the ethics and morals I have learned regarding my own sexuality and that of others. I have a code I live by. It may not be your but that is fine. It works for me and my family. My husband and I are on the same page of what we believe to be ethical and live and love by that. But that is in our nature.

Thanks for reading

Comments

[lilmissmagic71.livejournal.com]

This piece is very strong, makes a clear and conscientious point... a great read! Thanks!

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I was going to take a bye this week because it has been (going to be) a little hectic but this came to me and I had to write it down.

[baxaphobia.livejournal.com]

Glad you didn't opt out. nice entry.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

It was not a difficult subject as much as how much spare time I have (or don't have) this week.

[baxaphobia.livejournal.com]

Sometimes the idea just comes and it's easy to write, no matter the difficult subject matter.

[lunalovegoddess.livejournal.com]

Very well-put. This subject has come up quite a few times recently. It's taken me years to construct my set of ethics regarding sexuality. I had been brought up a certain way that ended up in conflict with life experiences once I was mature enough to make my own decisions. It seemed as if a double standard was set in place about how women should behave. If you are a virgin before marriage, which had once been seen as a good thing, then your peers label you "frigid". If you've had more than one boyfriend, you are labeled "promiscuous". If you have never had a boyfriend, then some people label you "homosexual". If you are bisexual, you must be "undecided". If you are a strong, opinionated woman, you are labeled "a bitch". In my generation, you are supposed to automatically want to be a mother and wife someday, but at the same time, you are supposed to work full-time and learn to survive in what once had been a primarily male workplace. And if you succeed in previously male-oriented professions, then you are seen as less feminine or you are accused of trading sexual favors for job advancement.

I learned all of this before I turned 18. No wonder I was in such a confused state of mind when I entered college and began dating. I am candid about what happened to me in freshman year, about being raped. At first, I had been ashamed; I thought perhaps people were right and that I must have done something to bring it upon myself. However, I never wore tight clothes, or even makeup. I never rocked the boat or drew attention to myself, yet I was sexually harassed as a teen by older, male co-workers. Having no idea of how to act in the situation, I kept it all to myself. Had I confided in my mother then, I would have saved myself a lot of mental anguish and depression.

In order to reclaim my self-worth and dignity as a woman, I had to throw out a few previously held notions that were restrictive and causing me needless anxiety. Before I met my husband, I dated women because I was curious and because I felt safer. When I eventually fell in love and got pregnant, I had to tell my mother, although I was afraid that she would be ashamed of me. (I had been the child prodigy who was meant to have a better life than my mom's generation.) I used to say that my mother was strict, until I saw how understanding that she could be. She pretty much told me to look around; I was not the first in my large family to have a child out of wedlock, nor would I be the last. She helped me learn to accept myself and relieved a lot of my anxiety about my sexuality.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

And thank you for sharing your feeling with me. I appreciate it.

It is hard as a woman to sort out one's sexuality considering how Victorian most of the society is (virgin vs. whore kind of thinking that is still prevalent today)

[suesniffsglue.livejournal.com]

Wonderful post. I'm very glad you decided to share!

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Yours was amazing too.

[cold-ataraxy.livejournal.com]

This is very clearly worded, and it definitely has my vote for this week.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I was concerned that I had muddied the waters so I am glad that it worked outside of my brain pan.

[libra-dragon.livejournal.com]

I really liked this entry, very to the point and well said.

I am a firm believer in personal responsibility
I think a lot more people need to believe in that.

Good job!

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Oh there are days I want to shout "PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY DAMMIT" from the roof tops esp. after I have read the paper and there is someone suing some town or corporation for something STUPID that they did of their own freewill.

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you didn't opt out! This was a really strong entry! Excellent job! :)

[kelly0182.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you wrote this! Many people wouldn't think of this angle.

[tulip-in-yellow.livejournal.com]

Wow. What a solid entry, that while short, manages to give us an anecdote, captures the topic, and discusses your individual beliefs in a really strong voice. I dig this.

[djner.livejournal.com]

It's kind of like I said in my entry, sex and religion are presonal matters. A church may tell you what you should do, and if you do that, then fine, but it's a very personal thing. Thanks for this entry, many don't understand the personal nature of all things sexual.

[dragonfluff.livejournal.com]

Yay for ethics!

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

You hit the nail right on the head, ethically speaking ;)
Good job!

[darkwolf69.livejournal.com]

Well spoken! It bugs me when people say they believe one thing and then do the opposite.

[sircaliban.livejournal.com]

a very well written piece.