It's not you. It's me.

[puppetmaker]

There's a phrase that immediately puts a lot of people on the defensive when it comes up in relationship conversations. One hears it and waits for the other shoe to drop with a heavy thud to the floor. But there are other times that it can be used as a reasonable explanation for behaviors that don't quite make sense. Sort of a not your bad but my bad kind of thing.

I have been thinking about phrases that we use that have become what I call loaded words. They have more gravitas due to their usage in our lexicon. The invisible "but" is another one. You can hear it in the tonality of the other person's voice and you mentally place it into the conversation.

"How are you doing?" is usually a request for a short answer for polite conversation but again tone can be everything. How the words are said can mean, "I'm here for you feel free to dump whatever you need to say." Usually that first "How are you doing?" and the short answer response is followed by, "No really. How are you doing?" Giving an invitation to really express how you feel.

"I love you" has all sorts of means depending on the people, the situation, and the tone. It can be romantic or caring or being happy that your friend just gave you that missing episode your DVD player didn't tape. Personally I don't think you can say I love you to those you love enough. (Yeah I'm overwhelmed by the Valentine's displays where ever I go. You should have seen the absurd balloons they had at Party City.)

Then there are words and phrases that change over time. Some drop out of use (When is the last time you heard someone say, 'Far Out Man' and not have the TV set on TV land?) and others morph into a different word mean (Remember when Gay meant incredibly happy and carefree?).

Nothing too deep about this just something I have been thinking about.

On another note

I am sorry to hear that Molly Ivins has passed on after a long battle with breast cancer. Her wit will be missed.

I am grateful for our ever changing language.

Comments

[budgie-uk.livejournal.com]

"I love you" has all sorts of means depending on the people, the situation, and the tone. It can be romantic or caring or being happy that your friend just gave you that missing episode your DVD player didn't tape. Personally I don't think you can say I love you to those you love enough. (Yeah I'm overwhelmed by the Valentine's displays where ever I go. You should have seen the absurd balloons they had at Party City.)

Peter did a BID some years ago on "words mean everything; words mean nothing" where he took two examples of "I hate you"... I'm sure he won't mind if I quote from it:

Words, in and of themselves, mean absolutely nothing. They have no power. Period. What matters is who says them, how they're said, and who they're said to. (Am I splitting hairs here? Of course I am.)

For example: "I hate you."

Very strong statement? Powerful statement? Nonsense. Means nothing. Three impotent words strung together. It's the context that's important.

Two people getting divorced, sitting across a table. One of the torn couple, with burning in his/her eyes, says "I hate you!" It speaks volumes. It speaks of a love gone sour, of two people who once shared their bodies unable now to even share a room. It has meaning, punch, pathos. Tragedy.

My daughter has just been told that she is to clean her room or there will be no television. She spins and, with her full fury, howls, "I hate you, daddy!" I sigh. Yeah, right. Now go clean your room. There is no punch or pathos or tragedy, and the only meaning it has is that the kid is angry. And that, too, is evaporated a half-hour later when dad comes up stairs with freshly baked brownies.

The words mean everything. The words mean nothing.

[nakednatalie.livejournal.com]

I've always been surprised that "cool" has stuck around as long as it has. I try avoid using it, but it's difficult sometimes. I suppose that's because there ARE no other words to take its place that are not trend words. Groovy, awesome, hot, neat-o, et al. I suppose you could use "fascinating" or "interesting" or some other clinical word if applicable. But sometimes there's just no substitution for the simplicity of "coooool"

Cool.

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

That makes a lot of sense, in fact.

The word's simple, the word works, the word fits in many situations... It'll probably stick around.

[nakednatalie.livejournal.com]

Groovy! Awesome! Rad! Cool. ;o)

[chris-walsh.livejournal.com]

Gruj! (Might as well try to invent a word, just in case "cool" ever fades...)

;-)

[nakednatalie.livejournal.com]

Gruj! I'm all over that.

[nakednatalie.livejournal.com]

*reads your user info*

*adds you without hesitation*

[vysion-of-books.livejournal.com]

What a neat topic. Then again, a blogger with a love of words... :)

I guess it's as expected as my frequent temptations to answer "How are you?" with a very detailed impish response.