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If you can't say anything nice....
Oct. 5th, 2007 10:42 amI was taught from a very early age that if you can't say anything nice, then say nothing at all. There are exceptions to this rule including critiques of all kinds and those dreaded words, "I want your honest opinion" which, when asked for, I will give. But over all I find it strange that bashing people behind the anonymity of the Internet has almost become a sport. I would not be surprised to find out that there is some award attached to being mean under the guise of being clever/witty.
I was taught in debate that you attack the argument not the person giving the argument. That was considered bad form and you would get points off your score. But personal attacks on the Internet seem to be the norm. I have watched many a debate dissolve into name-calling and character questioning. Recently on one of the puppet groups I was on, a bunch of us just keep hitting the delete button after one member, who is usually pretty helpful, got back on their soapbox about "What is Art." This is something that seems to happen ever other year with this one person. If you have been through it once, you know better than to get involved. Just skip it and come back to the next subject. I know I am not going to change their mind and I don't know what happened to cause them to be so bitter on this one subject so I avoid the while thing. Saves me a lot of grief in the long run.
I know it is easy to post a response to something that you read which irritates you, but it can be a good idea to step back and think if what you are about to is just going to fan the flames or be helpful. There is a Labyrinth group that I read which has a bunch of stand-up people and a couple of whiners who hate to be corrected. When corrected of erroneous information or given more current information that contradicts what they are putting forth, they threaten to flounce out of the group because of some big meanies in the group trying to make them feel bad. They have a group that pops in and tells them how great they are and how evil everyone else is for trying to correct the information. Note that none of this is an attack on their character or person but on the information that they put forth. But of course this is a personal attack on them. So I just let them prattle on and let others fall into that bear trap. My life and time is worth more than dealing with the number of e-mails I get informing me I am a bad person because I can use Google to debunk something.
I am grateful for the lessons in social interacting I learned at an early age.
I was taught in debate that you attack the argument not the person giving the argument. That was considered bad form and you would get points off your score. But personal attacks on the Internet seem to be the norm. I have watched many a debate dissolve into name-calling and character questioning. Recently on one of the puppet groups I was on, a bunch of us just keep hitting the delete button after one member, who is usually pretty helpful, got back on their soapbox about "What is Art." This is something that seems to happen ever other year with this one person. If you have been through it once, you know better than to get involved. Just skip it and come back to the next subject. I know I am not going to change their mind and I don't know what happened to cause them to be so bitter on this one subject so I avoid the while thing. Saves me a lot of grief in the long run.
I know it is easy to post a response to something that you read which irritates you, but it can be a good idea to step back and think if what you are about to is just going to fan the flames or be helpful. There is a Labyrinth group that I read which has a bunch of stand-up people and a couple of whiners who hate to be corrected. When corrected of erroneous information or given more current information that contradicts what they are putting forth, they threaten to flounce out of the group because of some big meanies in the group trying to make them feel bad. They have a group that pops in and tells them how great they are and how evil everyone else is for trying to correct the information. Note that none of this is an attack on their character or person but on the information that they put forth. But of course this is a personal attack on them. So I just let them prattle on and let others fall into that bear trap. My life and time is worth more than dealing with the number of e-mails I get informing me I am a bad person because I can use Google to debunk something.
I am grateful for the lessons in social interacting I learned at an early age.
