puppetmaker | Fall Shows Its Face

Temperature is in the 60s. We had some rain but not enough.

Fall is the season I love the most. The temperature is very comfortable. I love watching the leaves change. And there is Halloween which is my favorite holiday. I still have to get my decorations ups.

That will happen after this weekend which is New York Comic Con. We are accepting Peter’s entrance into the hall of fame. Next weekend is Peter’s family memorial and then I am done with memorial services.

And then….

Well, I don’t know. I still have IRS, Medicaid and the Will to deal with.

For over 10 years, starting with Peter’s first stroke, I was Peter’s caretaker. I made sure he went to his physical therapy and doctor’s appointments. I made sure there was food on the table, and he had what he needed to work. At conventions, I was his stage manager making sure he got to his panels, and he ate among other things.

Now I have myself to take care of. Living by myself I have been doing for about three years. Now I must find a job that pays a decent salary. I have been trying to get a job before Peter passed. I have been out of the job market for 23 years since I was let go by Del Rey. I do have my job at Micheal’s Craft Store but only very part time at a little over the minimum wage. I do enjoy my time there. I have a great manager and a good crew to work with, but it will not pay for my utilities and other expenses.

I must learn how to take care of myself. I am so used to taking care of others, I tended to ignore me. Now it is just me and that feels weird. I honestly didn’t expect to find myself in this position for at least another 20 years or so.

I have lived on my own before I met Peter. I know I have the skill seall be it a little rusty.

The hardest thing for me to do is put me first. I haven’t really done much of that in my life. I have others I could put first. Caroline still needs me however; she has her own life and adventures to live. She knows she can call, text, or visit any time she wants to.

I am at a crossroads as to what I want to do with my life. I want to write more and continue to make puppets for fun and profit. But can I make a living on that? Right now, the answer is no but I can work to making it a yes. It will take time and effort on my part.

I am in a cocoon right now getting ready to hatch and spread my wings. I don’t know how this is all going to end up, but I think I have a good beginning.

I am grateful for me.