Crafty Tuesday: Creation and Depression
Jan. 17th, 2017 10:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
puppetmakerWarning for frank talk about depression so I am putting it behind a cut
Apparently this week is, statistically, one of the highest for suicides. There are a lot of theories as to why this is the case. In the northern hemisphere part of it may come from the dead of winter between the weather and lack of sun. Part of it may come from the post holiday let-down or something that happened during that time that might put one in a tail spin.
I have been in a bit of a downward spiral mostly due to things I do not have control over. There are stressors that make it hard for me to focus on just about anything except the task in front of me. Lists are a must because I keep losing track of this, that and the other. The weather has been grey and mostly sunless for the better part of two weeks. The temperature has not been that bad but the wind makes one very cold. Right now it looks like it could snow or rain depending on the temperature today.
I have things cut out and ready to go on several projects. Caroline and I finally finished one of her crafty projects over the weekend.
I try not to be too hard on myself that I haven’t gotten as much done as I would like either in the physical or the writing world. (Sorry Crazy 8, it’s getting there but not done. However I am getting more done each day so that’s better than it just rolling around in my head). But I am very frustrated with myself because I know I can do better.
Being sick hasn’t helped my mental state at all. I feel like most of my energy has gone to making my nose run and coughing. I am sick of being sick. However I seem to be on the backend of that and I hope when my health returns my discipline will snap back in place. The new wrinkle is that I am having serious bouts of insomnia. I have had trouble sleeping in the past but this is a first where I just cannot sleep at all for no apparent reason.
And a tired me is not conducive to getting things done thus adding to the spiral.
I know what I am doing to myself and the little voices that tell me that I am a fraud and a hack and not as good as (fill in the blank with a friend who is really good at what I am trying to do).
I just have to find a point to grab onto and turn this around so I can get stuff done again.
Maybe it will be a screaming deadline of which I have several but that’s more stress in my life and right now I need a little less.
But right now I need to figure out how to pull myself back to center and get my creative back in gear. I need to not feel like the world is falling apart.
I recognize that I am in the midst of a depressive episode and now need to find my way out of it. More on that when I do. I am not one of those creative types that works best when depressed although I do know a number that swear by it.
I am grateful for sound sleep.
Apparently this week is, statistically, one of the highest for suicides. There are a lot of theories as to why this is the case. In the northern hemisphere part of it may come from the dead of winter between the weather and lack of sun. Part of it may come from the post holiday let-down or something that happened during that time that might put one in a tail spin.
I have been in a bit of a downward spiral mostly due to things I do not have control over. There are stressors that make it hard for me to focus on just about anything except the task in front of me. Lists are a must because I keep losing track of this, that and the other. The weather has been grey and mostly sunless for the better part of two weeks. The temperature has not been that bad but the wind makes one very cold. Right now it looks like it could snow or rain depending on the temperature today.
I have things cut out and ready to go on several projects. Caroline and I finally finished one of her crafty projects over the weekend.
I try not to be too hard on myself that I haven’t gotten as much done as I would like either in the physical or the writing world. (Sorry Crazy 8, it’s getting there but not done. However I am getting more done each day so that’s better than it just rolling around in my head). But I am very frustrated with myself because I know I can do better.
Being sick hasn’t helped my mental state at all. I feel like most of my energy has gone to making my nose run and coughing. I am sick of being sick. However I seem to be on the backend of that and I hope when my health returns my discipline will snap back in place. The new wrinkle is that I am having serious bouts of insomnia. I have had trouble sleeping in the past but this is a first where I just cannot sleep at all for no apparent reason.
And a tired me is not conducive to getting things done thus adding to the spiral.
I know what I am doing to myself and the little voices that tell me that I am a fraud and a hack and not as good as (fill in the blank with a friend who is really good at what I am trying to do).
I just have to find a point to grab onto and turn this around so I can get stuff done again.
Maybe it will be a screaming deadline of which I have several but that’s more stress in my life and right now I need a little less.
But right now I need to figure out how to pull myself back to center and get my creative back in gear. I need to not feel like the world is falling apart.
I recognize that I am in the midst of a depressive episode and now need to find my way out of it. More on that when I do. I am not one of those creative types that works best when depressed although I do know a number that swear by it.
I am grateful for sound sleep.
