Smile

[puppetmaker]

It’s funny how a simple word can invoke all kinds of feelings.

Recently there has been some discussion about news pundits telling Hillary Clinton to smile and it set off a firestorm. So Bernie can be a grouch but Hillary has to be upbeat?

Another friend of mine was talking about dealing with a man in a coffee shop where she went to get a coffee drink she liked because she had, so far, being having a rather spectacular bad day. He smiled at her and then berated her for not smiling back at him quite loudly. She backed out of the shop and didn’t get her drink.

Then there is the trope of resting bitch face, which is applied to all kinds of women usually with the implication that if they just smiled then they could approve their appearance.

I have learned how to when it is just easier than dealing the other person. Down south we have the smile down to an art form and you learn to read a lot from the smiles that are bestowed upon you. It’s in the eyes not the lips.

“You look so much prettier when you smile,” has been said to scores of women and probably a number of men.

I know when I am looked at “pretty” is not the adjective that comes to mind apparently, I have been informed, it is “intimidating” which, honestly, I am fine with.

If you have seen the Jessica Jones series, you know how devastating that one word is on Jessica due to things that another character inflicted upon her. The last episode is entitled AKA Smile and it is a terrifying episode indeed.

Ya know what, I get to decide if I want to smile or not. There are days that I really don’t want to or it would be really hard to do. I am allowed not to smile.

I am also allowed to smile when I see something that amuses me or make me feel like smiling. Seeing my daughter day to day makes me smile. My husband can make me smile. My pets and their antics can make me smile. Pleasant memories of things past is another one. I can use my smile as a weapon if I so chose. It’s mine and I do with it what I will.

I am grateful for things that do honestly make me smile.

Comments

[wonderbink.livejournal.com]

Telling somebody to smile (and particularly berating that person for noncompliance) is basically saying "I know better than you what you should be doing with your body." A couple of co-workers have told me to smile and I have made it clear that I do not appreciate it. Thankfully, they stopped after I explained things to them and I haven't had any trouble since.