LJ Idol Week One : Jayus, Mary and Joseph walk into a bar...

[puppetmaker]

(Say it in an Irish accent and it’ll make more sense)

I had a friend who passed away last year by the name of Marty Gear. Marty was well known in convention costuming circles for a number of things including his beloved vampire Uncle Vlad who MC’d many a costume call. When things slowed down or there was need for filler, Uncle Vlad would always tell a joke and over the year, on purpose, these jokes got worse and worse. Marty collected bad vampire jokes like some people collect comics or baseball cards. He took great pride in his collection too.

The last time I saw him at a convention, he ran a bunch of new ones he had gathered up from when we last met. He knew that if he could get me to groan and roll my eyes, he had a serious winner. There would be a glint of glee in his eye when he knew he had one that would get me.

What does a Vampire call a squad of cheerleaders? A Happy Meal

He could also tell a shaggy dog story with the best of them. A shaggy dog story is a joke that takes a while to get to the punch line and usually the punch line is pretty groan inducing.

The skill that Marty had was when to tell these awful jokes for maximum effect. MCing a masquerade is hard. You have to keep it moving, keep the audience in a positive mood, and fill the gaps. The people who are better as it make it so the audience thinks, “well that was a fast masquerade” only to find out that they had been sitting there for two hours. When they are constantly looking at their watch, you know that you have a problem. Marty could take the “feel” of the audience pretty quickly and tailor his shtick accordingly. The more often he was the MC of a call, the easier it was for him. He knew what had worked and not worked the year before. It is a gift that many do not have.

I miss my friend. I miss being the test subject to some really groan inducing jokes. I miss watching him tell some of these jokes to a wider audience and getting a mix of laughter and groans. I miss the mastery he had of MCing a contest.

Good night Uncle Vlad.



Marty Gear as Uncle Vlad
(For the VI: This is a picture of Marty in his full vampire get up. Behind him is a doorframe with some cobwebs on it to the right of the doorframe is a large wall sconce. Marty is wearing a black cape with red lining, a black tux, a white shirt with a white bow tie and a pendant on a red ribbon. He is standing behind a podium.)

This has been my entry for this weeks LJ Idol. I hope when the time comes you will vote for me. And if you know any bad vampire jokes, please feel free to post in comments. I miss them and Marty.

Comments

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

Very few have such talents and still fewer such friends...:)

[(Anonymous)]

Q: How did the all the vampires get drunk?
A: They had a wino-tasting party!

Q: What do Vampires call track runners?
A: Fast food.

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

What did the vampire say when he found a tampon? Tea time! AW

[sra33.livejournal.com]

Wanna know how to confuse a Geologist? Hand him a tampon and ask which period it's from! XD

[dagonell.livejournal.com]

Whoops! My computer logged me out. The vampire jokes were from me.

[bleodswean.livejournal.com]

Oh, I loved this. Very, very much.

[kickthehobbit.livejournal.com]

This made me miss the friend I have like this (he lives quite far away). Well done. :)

[penpusher.livejournal.com]

A fitting tribute to a unique talent. Fangs a lot for sharing it.

[x-disturbed-x.livejournal.com]

Oh that cheerleader sounds groan inducing but it still made me chuckle.

[shay-writes.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[similiesslip.livejournal.com]

Entertaining and reading a crowd are both great talents. I'm sorry you miss your friend.

I really enjoyed your entry. Hugs.

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

What a great use of the prompt, in forming a tribute to someone who embodied it.

He sounds fully worthy of being missed!

[lawchicky.livejournal.com]

A comedic vampire- too funny!

[querldox.livejournal.com]

After having been in residence in Britain for many years, Count Dracula finally decided to apply for British citizenship (tax reasons y'know). Of course he was easily granted it, what with his wealth and hypnotic powers. The papers arrived one afternoon, and Dracula eagerly awaited nightfall so he could kill his first prey as a Briton.

A few hours later, he's still waiting.

And a few more...still waiting.

Finally, almost a day later when night still hasn't fallen, he realizes that he's made a terrible mistake. Because the sun never sets on the British vampire!

(Nowhere nearly as well as Marty told it)

[kajel.livejournal.com]

A very touching tribute.

[elledanger.livejournal.com]

Awww this is a lovely story, thank you so much for sharing this.

[majesticarky.livejournal.com]

That picture is amazing, it looks like a painting! I'm sorry for the loss of your friend : (. The cheerleader joke made me smile : ).

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

He sounds like a fun person to know.

[kandigurl.livejournal.com]

Aw, he seems like an awesome guy! Nothing beats a good MC!

[adoptedwriter.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of a few local TV celebs from my childhood. One old guy hosted late night movies. His name was Bob Shrieve. He wasn't funny at all except in a stupid-funny way, but local people loved Bob. Then we had The Cool Ghoul. He hosted late night monster movies. Goofy funny!
AW

[beautyofgrey.livejournal.com]

That's a pretty convincing costume. :D

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

Very convincing vampire picture.