Hard to Believe

[puppetmaker]

In a month and a day I turn 50 years old (or 50 years young as some put it).

I know I have done a lot in those fifty years. But it really doesn’t feel like that length of time has passed. Time does speed up as one gets older especially if one has kids. I swear that I blinked and my baby became a ten year old.

Fifty is one of those milestone ages that seems to cause one to think about their life so far and their life ahead or maybe it is just me.

I was thinking about turning 50 at SDCC (San Diego Comic Con: I just figured that I have been using the shorthand and not everyone knows what that it). I was looking as the younger fans who were running around the convention and braving lines I would not touch now but probably would have been in the thick of it when I was their age. There was a lot of “ah I remember when” going on in my head.

Given where my life has gone, would I have changed anything? Not really. What happened to me over the years has made me who I am today. I think if I could get a message back to my younger self it would be take care of your body because you are going to need it for a long time. I do wish I could go back and reassure myself that things will turn out OK even when it looks incredibly bleak and hopeless. So both the good times and the bad times have made me who I am.

I got an unusual comment at Shoreleave that I have been mulling over. A young lady in her early 20s came to me after a panel where I was up there with just male panelists. She complimented me on being able to hold my own with the men. I didn’t think I was. Honestly I was going with the flow of the panel. I inquired a little further as to what she meant and figured out that it was that I could talk in front of a group of people and hold my own opinion. I told her that I learned how to do that over time. When I was her age I couldn’t get up in front of a group of people I didn’t know and talk with confidence. It is something I learned over time and by this point I am totally comfortable doing so.

My skill set has improved over the years. I was not able to do half the crafty things I do now even at twenty-five years old. I have been very lucky and had a lot of good teachers long the way. At this point I am more than willing to teach what I know but I still have learning. I want to allow others to not have to go through the process of trial and error that I went through to figure out the best way to do something.

There will probably more of these as I get closer to the actual date of my natal day.

I am grateful for all the experiences I have had over the years.

Comments

[cielamara.livejournal.com]

You are an inspiration.

[theafaye.livejournal.com]

I must admit that I hate the phrase x years young - there's nothing wrong with growing older! We all do it.

I'll be facing my 40th in just under a month and I'm having similar thoughts. There's a lot to be said for a life well lived and being able to look forward because you know even better's to come.

[wonderbink.livejournal.com]

She complimented me on being able to hold my own with the men. . . . I inquired a little further as to what she meant and figured out that it was that I could talk in front of a group of people and hold my own opinion. I told her that I learned how to do that over time.

It probably also helped that we weren't raised with the mentality that men automatically knew better.