There are Times

[puppetmaker]

When I can’t really talk about what I want to talk about.

I learned at an early age of the Internet that what one says on the Internet doesn’t go away as much as one thinks it might.

Then I got involved with Peter which changed the parameters again. He was in the middle of a divorce and so I was careful about what I said out on the World Wide Web. I didn’t want to cause him any grief or trouble that could be traced back to something I casually said.

The job at Del Rey added another layer of thinking of “Do I say this?” Because there were times that I really wanted to says some things that might be misconstrued. Adding the Star Wars lock on what I can say and all the NDAs (None Disclosure Agreements) I have signed over the years or Peter has signed that I am a part of, there became a lot I can’t talk about or when I can, I forget that I can now talk about it.

Now I am married to Peter and have a child of my own which again changed the parameters of what I say and don’t say.

I can feel safe that what I have said over the years if someone went back and looked at it, I would get a job or whatever. Caroline can read it safely.

I can say that I have always been honest out here on the Internet. If I typed it, I believe it when I typed it. If I found out I was wrong, I admitted it. I have held my tongue as others have libeled my husband and my friends. I don’t break confidences. As much as I might want to say something or correct something, I don’t. I learned that it doesn’t really help and I do know what is the reality of the situation(s).

So I continue to blog about my life and things I find interesting. And I hope others enjoy reading it.

There are just times that I wish I could say some things but I know better so I don't.

I am grateful for the things I can talk about safely.

Comments

[theafaye.livejournal.com]

I find it sad that some things happen that I'd love to share on LJ and I know that I can't for one reason or another. Discretion is important though and although I get the argument that says that before computers, if you told someone a secret, there was nothing to stop them repeating them, when something's in black and white, that definitely changes things. There are things that I'd say to someone in person that I wouldn't put in writing. Partly though that's because context matters and I know that there are times that something can look absolutely terrible in writing when in context, they're absolutely fine (I'm thinking about the time that a couple of people thought that I'm completely under the thumb thanks to a tongue in cheek comment on LJ).

I enjoy reading you and I'm especially enjoying hearing about Caroline growing up and Peter getting better. I hope that one day you guys will be in the same country again and we can hang out.

[xo-kizzy-xo.livejournal.com]

I still have my thousands-of-filters here where, if I need to talk about something that's not for general consumption, I can at least "get it out" with a select few. I used to use those filters a lot. Now I can't remember the last time I used any of them. Instead, I've become more choosy as to what I share/don't share -- I've always said that for one true thing I've posted, there's probably 20 things I'll never post!

You're in a unique place, though, between your own work and Peter's. Anybody in your shoes, I think, would have to develop similar discretions if they're to successfully navigate both public and private life.

And heck, one of these days we'll finally meet! After all, we're only 200 miles apart :)

[trinalin.livejournal.com]

As a teacher, I really have to be careful of what I say online. As an atheist teacher in a very Christian school (that sometimes seems like a public school in name only), I am even MORE careful in what I say. As a liberal is a very conservative community, I am even MORE careful in what I say. Oddly enough, I find it a lot easier to be out in my community as the sister of a lesbian than in those other two admissions.

However, like you, I always try to speak the truth when I do post entries. I think that I've avoided saying compromising things online, for the most part. (Though I'm usually more open in comments in other people's blogs, as you can see above.)