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It is OK not to feel the holiday spirit
Dec. 18th, 2019 07:32 amThis time of year can be tough on people. There are expectations that are not met. There are issues that linger from year to year. There are people one has to interact with that one would really not. There is the social expectation that everyone is filled with the holiday spirit and there is joy and good feelings all around. There is the stress getting ready for the holidays and the stress of cleaning up afterwards. Travel can be a big stressor too.
I know I am lucky that I get to go to Atlanta and spend Christmas with my family. We get along well and again I know how lucky I am in that regard. I love and appreciate my parents and my brothers and sister.
I read and hear from friends who have to deal with all kinds of issues when they go back to their families. I know two friends who are concerned about how their conservative relatives are going to deal with their pronoun change. Others are praying that politics will be off the table but know that they are going into the bear pit without a spear. Others travel without their partners because there is an agreement on both sides as to how bad an idea that would be. I think that gets compounded when the person is told that once X relative passes then you can bring your partner with you.
I know what I am walking into and the expectations on my time in Atlanta. Getting there can be a bit of a crap shoot.
Losing people around this time of year can bring a pall to the whole proceedings. Also if a loved one’s birthday is around the holidays and they have passed, it can bring up some serious mixed feelings. Missing people is not bad or wrong. It never is. They were part of your life and now they are gone.
This year is hard for me because every year I would go to Jeff & Angelo’s for some Christmas Cheer and seeing how they had decorated that year. It was a holiday that the two of them had great enthusiasm for. There were silly songs and in jokes that were acquired over 30 + years of friendship. There is an Angelo sized hole in my heart. I won’t hear him say “Chrima Chrima” or his version of hark the herald angels. I don’t know of the ornament exchange is going to happen. I am hoping that I will see Jeff at some point. It will be the first time we have seen each other since Angelo passed. A bright light of the holiday for me has dimmed because of his absence.
Now there are presents to be wrapped, packages to be shipped, and the anticipation of the season.
I am grateful that I get along with my family and extended family.
I know I am lucky that I get to go to Atlanta and spend Christmas with my family. We get along well and again I know how lucky I am in that regard. I love and appreciate my parents and my brothers and sister.
I read and hear from friends who have to deal with all kinds of issues when they go back to their families. I know two friends who are concerned about how their conservative relatives are going to deal with their pronoun change. Others are praying that politics will be off the table but know that they are going into the bear pit without a spear. Others travel without their partners because there is an agreement on both sides as to how bad an idea that would be. I think that gets compounded when the person is told that once X relative passes then you can bring your partner with you.
I know what I am walking into and the expectations on my time in Atlanta. Getting there can be a bit of a crap shoot.
Losing people around this time of year can bring a pall to the whole proceedings. Also if a loved one’s birthday is around the holidays and they have passed, it can bring up some serious mixed feelings. Missing people is not bad or wrong. It never is. They were part of your life and now they are gone.
This year is hard for me because every year I would go to Jeff & Angelo’s for some Christmas Cheer and seeing how they had decorated that year. It was a holiday that the two of them had great enthusiasm for. There were silly songs and in jokes that were acquired over 30 + years of friendship. There is an Angelo sized hole in my heart. I won’t hear him say “Chrima Chrima” or his version of hark the herald angels. I don’t know of the ornament exchange is going to happen. I am hoping that I will see Jeff at some point. It will be the first time we have seen each other since Angelo passed. A bright light of the holiday for me has dimmed because of his absence.
Now there are presents to be wrapped, packages to be shipped, and the anticipation of the season.
I am grateful that I get along with my family and extended family.
