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I know how to parent my child thank you
Feb. 21st, 2018 07:12 pmYesterday, really earlier today but I hadn’t gone to sleep yet, I picked up Caroline from her High School where she participated in the bagging of the alpha robot that her robotics team has built to compete. We got home and watched Stephen Colbert before going to bed.
This morning a friend messaged me inquiring if Caroline was getting enough sleep and a few other questions that basically boiled down to that maybe I needed to rethink my parenting of my daughter since I don’t set boundaries for her. This is not the first time they have done this and I understand why they do it. I choose to let it go for the most part but this time it bothered me.
I have stated before that I don’t tell others how to parent. I only pipe in when directly asked for advice and then I give what has worked for me over the years.
Caroline being out after midnight is a rare thing indeed. Even given her freedom at Farpoint found her in bed by 10:30 at the latest. I don’t set limits because my daughter sets reasonable limits for herself. If she stops then we will have a discussion.
I know I am a very lucky parent that my child is self-regulating. She gets her homework done without being prodded. She works on school projects in a timely fashion for the most part. She has her afterschool activities that have not interfered with her academic. She is one of the most self aware people I know.
I have had people ask how I got her to that point and I tell them that it’s all her. I encouraged her and occasionally nudged her in a direction but I took a page out of my parents’ playbook and let Caroline be Caroline. Let her find her way. Let her make mistakes in controlled circumstances so when she does it later she has some idea how to deal with it.
Peter and I have worked hard to give her the tools that she needs to succeed. The rest she has done on her own.
She commented the other day that she was grateful to have me as a mom. I asked why and she said because I have never been a helicopter parent. I am there when she needs me but I give her space to be herself. Apparently Peter and I are the ‘cool’ parents according to some of the kids not for what we do but for what we let her do.
My parents allowed me the same courtesy. They were there when I needed them but they let me be me and grow into the person I am today.
I am grateful that my parents raised me the way they did.
This morning a friend messaged me inquiring if Caroline was getting enough sleep and a few other questions that basically boiled down to that maybe I needed to rethink my parenting of my daughter since I don’t set boundaries for her. This is not the first time they have done this and I understand why they do it. I choose to let it go for the most part but this time it bothered me.
I have stated before that I don’t tell others how to parent. I only pipe in when directly asked for advice and then I give what has worked for me over the years.
Caroline being out after midnight is a rare thing indeed. Even given her freedom at Farpoint found her in bed by 10:30 at the latest. I don’t set limits because my daughter sets reasonable limits for herself. If she stops then we will have a discussion.
I know I am a very lucky parent that my child is self-regulating. She gets her homework done without being prodded. She works on school projects in a timely fashion for the most part. She has her afterschool activities that have not interfered with her academic. She is one of the most self aware people I know.
I have had people ask how I got her to that point and I tell them that it’s all her. I encouraged her and occasionally nudged her in a direction but I took a page out of my parents’ playbook and let Caroline be Caroline. Let her find her way. Let her make mistakes in controlled circumstances so when she does it later she has some idea how to deal with it.
Peter and I have worked hard to give her the tools that she needs to succeed. The rest she has done on her own.
She commented the other day that she was grateful to have me as a mom. I asked why and she said because I have never been a helicopter parent. I am there when she needs me but I give her space to be herself. Apparently Peter and I are the ‘cool’ parents according to some of the kids not for what we do but for what we let her do.
My parents allowed me the same courtesy. They were there when I needed them but they let me be me and grow into the person I am today.
I am grateful that my parents raised me the way they did.
