Monday Motivation When there is none

I have a set amount of time before DragonCon. The number of things I have to do I have reduced on purpose. I had that number reduced again by circumstance which now has me re-evaluating what I can get done before the convention.

I am still digging out from convention/vacation and getting Peter ready for his next convention.

I am very frustrated right now because my brain decided to go into neutral along with my back having fits due to travel related issues so getting anything done is one hell of an effort.

This morning I did make a serious dent in getting things back where they go but it is only half way to completion. Things literary are half way to being put away. I have to go up and down stairs to get things to their final place.

I can tell that I am not at my best. I am second guessing every move I make and every word I say or type. I am worried about so many things it is becoming irrational and I know it but I can’t stop my brain in overdrive.

I go back to what works and try to calm myself with varying degrees of success. Peter is being very supportive and helping me where he can.

I keep going forward hoping that something will click back into place and I won’t feel so drained and tired all the time. I need to get back to my exercise routine because that helps a lot. I have Caroline to help me be motivated with that because she wants to go to the gym too and continue her exercise routine.

This is the face of mild depression. I can function but it feels like I am pushing a rock uphill. I go on because people need me to do various things for various reasons. Which is a good thing because it keeps me moving and functioning.

I hope to snap out of this funk soon because it is not fun and I am not a lot of fun right now. I have things to do.

I am grateful for things that help me continue to move forward.