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Be Weird Be Different Be Yourself
Feb. 25th, 2015 07:49 amWhen Graham Moore gave his Oscar acceptance speech I was cheering and hoping that what he said would help at least one person to accept themselves and what they bring to the table.
Or as one campaign put it ‘it does get better.’
For those of you who were at the DragonCon awards ceremony in 2014, Peter was introducing Terry Gilliam for the Julie Award and he said, with my permission, that Terry’s film “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” saved my life. I told Terry that was the absolute truth. I was at Yale at the time and that film gave me a couple of hours of hope and something to look forward to which honestly got me from day to day for a while.
I dealt with being different or weird for many years. I knew I thought differently and reacted differently than many of my peers. And for years other people’s opinions really mattered to me to the point of not being good for me.
Then while at Yale after I had been dealing with my depression for a bit, my mentor sat me down to see how I was doing. We talked about the show I was working on and the director that was known as a PITA by the entire school. She said to me that she admired my ability to let the other person know that I was listening and that they had been heard but I needed to learn that a lot of the time the negative that seemed to be directing at me was really nothing to do with me and was their problem not mine.
Somewhere along the way I learned to only really care about the opinions of people who actually mattered to me. I learned that a lot of the criticism had nothing to do with me but with other things going on with people. And I learned that some people are energy sinks and will take all you can give without anything in return.
I also stopped hiding who I was. I had my friends, my family, and my community and that was where I valued the opinions about me and what I did.
I know that I stand out at times where I live. Caroline has to deal with some kids not really understanding her or her life. At Caroline’s elementary school I had the reputation as one of the creative parents with solid theater skills. I was know as either Caroline’s mom or the puppet lady. I had one parent tell me that they weren’t sure what to think of me when they met me but they are glad that they did.
It did get better for me. At the time of my worst despair I didn’t think it would. I couldn’t see a way out other that a rather permanent solution to a very temporary problem. I really did think I would never be happy again.
But here I am now. No, my life is not perfect but I have learned to deal with the imperfections. I don’t hide my passion of things anymore or really feel like I need to fit into the social norm. Take me or leave me what you see is what you get. I am at a comfortable place with myself and my life.
I am weird and different and it took me a long time to realize that being so didn’t make me a bad person but it did make me, well, me and I celebrate that.
I am grateful that I am still here.
Or as one campaign put it ‘it does get better.’
For those of you who were at the DragonCon awards ceremony in 2014, Peter was introducing Terry Gilliam for the Julie Award and he said, with my permission, that Terry’s film “The Adventures of Baron Munchausen” saved my life. I told Terry that was the absolute truth. I was at Yale at the time and that film gave me a couple of hours of hope and something to look forward to which honestly got me from day to day for a while.
I dealt with being different or weird for many years. I knew I thought differently and reacted differently than many of my peers. And for years other people’s opinions really mattered to me to the point of not being good for me.
Then while at Yale after I had been dealing with my depression for a bit, my mentor sat me down to see how I was doing. We talked about the show I was working on and the director that was known as a PITA by the entire school. She said to me that she admired my ability to let the other person know that I was listening and that they had been heard but I needed to learn that a lot of the time the negative that seemed to be directing at me was really nothing to do with me and was their problem not mine.
Somewhere along the way I learned to only really care about the opinions of people who actually mattered to me. I learned that a lot of the criticism had nothing to do with me but with other things going on with people. And I learned that some people are energy sinks and will take all you can give without anything in return.
I also stopped hiding who I was. I had my friends, my family, and my community and that was where I valued the opinions about me and what I did.
I know that I stand out at times where I live. Caroline has to deal with some kids not really understanding her or her life. At Caroline’s elementary school I had the reputation as one of the creative parents with solid theater skills. I was know as either Caroline’s mom or the puppet lady. I had one parent tell me that they weren’t sure what to think of me when they met me but they are glad that they did.
It did get better for me. At the time of my worst despair I didn’t think it would. I couldn’t see a way out other that a rather permanent solution to a very temporary problem. I really did think I would never be happy again.
But here I am now. No, my life is not perfect but I have learned to deal with the imperfections. I don’t hide my passion of things anymore or really feel like I need to fit into the social norm. Take me or leave me what you see is what you get. I am at a comfortable place with myself and my life.
I am weird and different and it took me a long time to realize that being so didn’t make me a bad person but it did make me, well, me and I celebrate that.
I am grateful that I am still here.
