Give it a Minute

Patience is the Greatest of All Virtues-Cato the Elder

Patience is over-rated –Anyone in a long line at Disney

Recently in one of the many fandoms I am a part of, usually a silent part, someone said something that was meant as a joke or at least that is what they said after they were dog piled on after they posted it. Funny thing was that many of those who lurk came out for a scratch and a bite on this one. Eventually the person who made the joke in rather bad taste left the group. If everyone had been in the same room or took a little time to think before posting including the original poster then I honestly think that the original poster would still be part of the group.

When I was a child, the only phones we had were landlines. If you made a long distant call, it was not cheap. In fact there was a time that all the phone lines in the land were controlled by Ma Bell. Making a long distant call was a conscious choice and you only made them when there was something to say or there was occasion to call like a birthday or a holiday.

Photos use to be a bit of a crap-shoot. You would take the photos and hope that they are not fuzzy. You would mail the film off to be developed and you got the pictures back in the mail. All of this cost something and one would be a bit picky about recording things. If you got a good picture, it was a magnificent feeling.

Before texting there was letters. We corresponded with each other through the mail. Cards and letters were sent. Pen pals were communicated with. But it was not immediate. You had to wait to get a response to something that you sent.

You had to be…wait for it…patience.

I was talking various people at Farpoint this weekend and we did do a little bit of “I remember when” including for costuming how hard it use to be to get reference material for costumes if you wanted to recreate something much less the fabric and trims and the like. We talked about fanzines and fan magazines that we poured over when we could get them. Once a month I got Starlog and read it from first to last page. It was my only source at the time for photos of things that I watched. I have all the issues of the Doctor Who Weekly until it became the Doctor Who monthly. I have all of the Blake 7 magazines. The first fandom I got heavy into on the Internet was Doctor Who after the movie aired. It was the first time I could “collect” photos and information about a fandom which was useful when I went to make the Doctor Who puppets. Well that and the Doctor Who magazines and photos I had.

In our instant world, being patience seems to have gone by the way side. We are impulsive creatures as it is and learning how to be patience was part of growing up. Instant gratification is so easy. Waiting for things is much harder.

I make it a practice when something on the Internet upsets me, I step away from it and give myself 24 hours to decide if I should respond to it. I try to keep away from impulsive responses. I am a pragmatist but I was not always. It has taken me years to get to this point where I don’t have to respond to that which disturbs or annoys me.

I am trying to teach Caroline to be patience. And there are times that she gets it and there are other times that she doesn’t. But she is learning that instant gratification is not the only way to go in this world. She works hard at her kung fu and her flute because she can see that progress in both disciplines but neither has come easy to her. She has had to be patience to learn.

And there are times I have to remind myself to be patience with people and things that I have no control over. All that frustration gets me is an upset stomach and a bit of a headache.

But I am still learning how to be patience and it is a life long lesson.

I am grateful for what I have learned about being patience and what Caroline has learned so far.