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In fact it is worse when they are adults.
There are several things I would like to do today and a couple I should do and then there are those that need to be done. So I start with the needs and work my way out.
Part of today is going to be spent with Peter’s computer and updating the operating system so I can update his script writing software to the most current version. That is in the must category.
Bullying is back in the news again. Today a trial starts in New Jersey which a lot of legal eagles are watching very closely. It is about the death of Tyler Clementi a young man who jumped from the George Washington Bridge after a video of him having relations with another man was filmed by his roommate and shown to other students on the Rutgers campus. Mr. Clementi had told his parents about being gay. Mr. Ravi’s excuse for making the tape? He didn’t know Mr. Clementi’s date and was worried about his stuff being stolen. He has no reasonable explanation why he showed the tape to others on campus. Mr. Clementi’s death sparked a discussion about bullying and that it doesn’t just stop at school anymore.
And that scares me about my own child. I keep Caroline on a very tight leash on the Internet. I know what websites she goes on and I keep an eye on her when she is on the computer. But I also know that eventually she will be a teenager and I won’t be able to control her actions on the Internet all the time. And I have no control about how the other people on the Internet treat her. We are trying to instill self confidence in her and that what other people say doesn’t matter to her unless she makes it matter to her. I really wish she could avoid some of the pitfalls of public school that I fell into with some rather nasty results. But all I can do is support her and keep an eye on what is going on around her.
Bullying is bullying and saying “I’m sorry” after the damage is done is not the solution. Her school has a no tolerance policy when it comes to bullying much more so than in my day. But we all know that things happen when teacher’s backs are turned or they are dealing with other kids in line. However in Caroline’s school, they are encouraged to tell an adult if they see bullying happening. And that has helped especially since the old kids keep an eye out for the younger kids. I know it is not a perfect system but it is better than what I had in elementary school.
I feel sorry for my generation because we still put up with bullies in many forms. We got use to it and use to the fact that no one would really do anything that would stick.
I learned over time, and it took a lot of time, that I only really care what the people I respect think of me. I know there are people out there who don’t think much of me and I don’t think much of them either. It is just too much effort. I learned to let certain feelings go especially when I could do nothing about them except stew which wasn’t good for my health. Sometimes I find myself in those patterns again and I have to make a conscious decision to let it just go which can be hard but it can be done.
Bullying is wrong and now with the possibility of being bullied 24/7, thanks to our lovely Internet, we have to be more vigilant about bullying.
However not everything said that is a negative about something is bullying. There is a fine line for sure but it is one of those times that I think we are swinging the other way so fast that people who are making honest comments about things are being shouted down as bullies. And why are they bullies? Because they don’t hold the same beliefs or convictions of others and express that to the group. Or they are slammed by someone and when they reply in turn, they are the bullies because the person who slammed them doesn’t understand what they did. And that bothers me. Yes, there are people who are unable to understand why what they did was wrong but a majority go with “Sorry” after the fact and then the explanation why they should be allowed to continue their destructive behavior within the group. I have left groups due to this double standard.
Bullying in any form is wrong. I know it has been going on since the cave days but I think we have gotten to the point where more kids are going to be jumping off bridges or jumping in front of cars unless we can change things now.
I am grateful to the teachers and principles who work hard to teach kids that bullying is wrong.
There are several things I would like to do today and a couple I should do and then there are those that need to be done. So I start with the needs and work my way out.
Part of today is going to be spent with Peter’s computer and updating the operating system so I can update his script writing software to the most current version. That is in the must category.
Bullying is back in the news again. Today a trial starts in New Jersey which a lot of legal eagles are watching very closely. It is about the death of Tyler Clementi a young man who jumped from the George Washington Bridge after a video of him having relations with another man was filmed by his roommate and shown to other students on the Rutgers campus. Mr. Clementi had told his parents about being gay. Mr. Ravi’s excuse for making the tape? He didn’t know Mr. Clementi’s date and was worried about his stuff being stolen. He has no reasonable explanation why he showed the tape to others on campus. Mr. Clementi’s death sparked a discussion about bullying and that it doesn’t just stop at school anymore.
And that scares me about my own child. I keep Caroline on a very tight leash on the Internet. I know what websites she goes on and I keep an eye on her when she is on the computer. But I also know that eventually she will be a teenager and I won’t be able to control her actions on the Internet all the time. And I have no control about how the other people on the Internet treat her. We are trying to instill self confidence in her and that what other people say doesn’t matter to her unless she makes it matter to her. I really wish she could avoid some of the pitfalls of public school that I fell into with some rather nasty results. But all I can do is support her and keep an eye on what is going on around her.
Bullying is bullying and saying “I’m sorry” after the damage is done is not the solution. Her school has a no tolerance policy when it comes to bullying much more so than in my day. But we all know that things happen when teacher’s backs are turned or they are dealing with other kids in line. However in Caroline’s school, they are encouraged to tell an adult if they see bullying happening. And that has helped especially since the old kids keep an eye out for the younger kids. I know it is not a perfect system but it is better than what I had in elementary school.
I feel sorry for my generation because we still put up with bullies in many forms. We got use to it and use to the fact that no one would really do anything that would stick.
I learned over time, and it took a lot of time, that I only really care what the people I respect think of me. I know there are people out there who don’t think much of me and I don’t think much of them either. It is just too much effort. I learned to let certain feelings go especially when I could do nothing about them except stew which wasn’t good for my health. Sometimes I find myself in those patterns again and I have to make a conscious decision to let it just go which can be hard but it can be done.
Bullying is wrong and now with the possibility of being bullied 24/7, thanks to our lovely Internet, we have to be more vigilant about bullying.
However not everything said that is a negative about something is bullying. There is a fine line for sure but it is one of those times that I think we are swinging the other way so fast that people who are making honest comments about things are being shouted down as bullies. And why are they bullies? Because they don’t hold the same beliefs or convictions of others and express that to the group. Or they are slammed by someone and when they reply in turn, they are the bullies because the person who slammed them doesn’t understand what they did. And that bothers me. Yes, there are people who are unable to understand why what they did was wrong but a majority go with “Sorry” after the fact and then the explanation why they should be allowed to continue their destructive behavior within the group. I have left groups due to this double standard.
Bullying in any form is wrong. I know it has been going on since the cave days but I think we have gotten to the point where more kids are going to be jumping off bridges or jumping in front of cars unless we can change things now.
I am grateful to the teachers and principles who work hard to teach kids that bullying is wrong.
