Parenting, the toughest job you'll ever love

I was talking to my mother the other day. I talk to my mother a couple of times a week . Sometimes it's a short question or cute story about Caroline and other times they are longer more involved conversations. Since she taught nursing most of my life (still does but is semi-retired), I tend to call her about medical things that I just need another ear on or a quick answer for something that I really don't want to use up my doctor's time on.

Anyway, I was talking to my mother about Caroline who has been diagnosed with bronchitis which I think she picked up at her child care. Caroline had been coughing but it had been a productive "wet" cough so I hadn't given her any cough medicine because she was sleeping through the night without problem. We were talking about all the articles in the news recently about the dangers of various things in multi-symptom medications to children or rather the potential dangers. I also told her about an article I had seen warning parents from using medication (like Benadryl) to get their kids to go to sleep since these medications had a sedative effect on most kids.

I said to my mom, "Kids are not convenient nor are they a fashion accessory."

Kids not convenient and I am getting rather perturbed at societies need (within the last generation really) to find ways to make them so. There are kids with various forms of hyperactivity out there. I know a couple that are doing great as adults that were all over the place when they were kids. I grew up with them. They are now on various forms of medication which helps them focus. But I can't believe the number of kids that are on various drugs to "help them focus" (read make them not a problem to the teacher in the classroom) are all effect with various disorders they are diagnosed with. Kids have energy and at a young age they are going to act up. It is hard to teach them how to behave but it is part of being a parent.

Using medicine to get the kids to go to sleep at a convenient time is another example of this sort of mindset. Potty training babies from the day that they come home from the hospital so you don't have to deal with the diapers is another. I read the Parents magazines when I am in the Doctor's office and some of the advice given just scares me. Teaching your baby sign language before they can really talk works with some babies and not others and is kind of neat if it worked for you.

Children want to learn and are sponges for information and input. As a parent I am responsible for that input and providing my child the information I think she needs. But she doesn't always want the information at convenient times. I was working on a doll the other day and she wanted to play a counting game with me that we have. I told her that I needed to finish the piece I was working on and then we could play the game. She sat and watched me work and asked questions about what I was doing and why. Some were rather repetitive, but that is the world of a four year old. About every minute I heard from her, "Are you done yet?" And it did get to me after a while but I held my annoyance out of my voice. Finally when I was done, we sat down and played the counting game twice. I wanted to switch to the alphabet game and after some cajoling we got about half way through that game. This, of course, blew the rest of my time to work on the doll before I had to get to the next thing I needed to do but that's OK. I'm not expecting my child to be convenient. I am expecting her to be Caroline. And it is my responsibility as a parent to teach her how to act in society all the time not just when it is convenient.

I am grateful for all the lessons Caroline is teaching me.