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[personal profile] puppetmaker
New Who Review will be tomorrow since the three episodes link together and I wanted to see where it was going. Class was a lot of fun too but more on that later.

Yes, I know I have been quiet since the passing of my mother-in-law but really before then. I don’t know when I will be back to regular web logging but right now is not the time.

I had to drop out of several activities that I do every year including the DragonCon Art show which hurt but I would rather take a year off and get back to my A game rather than put something on the table to just have something on the table.

I recognize that my mind is not at its best place right now and am taking steps to help me get it back there.

Or short version, I recognize that I am in a depressive state.

I have written about my dealing with depression and made the choice not to be quiet about it so that I might help others by ridding the stigma attached to mental health. Most of what I have written is about things in the past that I have dealt with. Now I realize that something is not quite right and I have something I need to deal with now. I am not suicidal so don’t worry about that. I am not sad per say but I am really kind of numb. I am concerned about my lack of feeling really anything. My creative verve has seriously gone on the backburner. I am existing and not much more than that.

I have two projects that I am going to be doing once we have the renovations done for the upstairs bathroom. Right now I really can’t have my materials out and in the way of the construction. So I am on hold right now.

Which means I should be working on my novel or Peter’s Patroen page or (fill in the blank). His page I did get some stuff done on and I am going to work on that some more today but the novel is at a halt right now. My frustration level on that is through the roof.

Which is another reason why I need to take a step back and give myself some time and space to sort out my head. I am no good to anyone when I am in this state. And I realize that which is better than I use to do when I felt like this. I am also staying away from my few vices because I know how I can be when I am like this.

I am going to try to get some entries written like on Tuesday but I am not making any promises.

I am grateful for the ability to realize what is going on with me.


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