Friday, right? Time is an illusion Lunchtime doubly so.

This week I worked at my job three days in a row. I woke up uncertain of the day or the date. Sorted it out with my iPhone pretty fast.

 

I have a project for the weekend. I am making a pumpkin puppet for a contest at work. I have a clever idea now let us see if I can execute it the way I want to. I think I have all the pieces I need. Crossing fingers I have enough cloth.

 

Tomorrow is “No Kings” day. There is a local protest that I am going to join.

 

Sunday will be spent with friends.

 

Monday I must go meet with the funeral director for the family memorial.

 

Then back to work I go.

 

I have a life of sorts. Things that need to be done and things I want to do.

 

It is a big adjustment from the last eleven years or possibly longer.

 

I was Peter’s caretaker/stage manager/agent for a long time. He could play good cop all day long and I was willing to be the bad cop and get him what he was owed.

 

Now I am a bit adrift. For the first time in a long time, I get to think about me and what I want and need. And I honestly don’t have much a clue. I have sublimated my wants for others. There are a couple of things, but I really don’t have the money at the moment to do them. 

 

I am still waiting for the will to go through probate. There is not a lot in the estate, but it will help.

 

I am also trying to find a job that pays a living wage just like a lot of other people. I’ve been out of that job market for 22 years now. I am over 60. Not the first person who one would pick for a job. I am wondering if I should go back to school to get some other skills that pay better.

 

I have lots of skills that could be useful in the right job. I am organized and good at solving problems along with getting information quickly to the right people. And all the other skills I learned as a stage manager. I have office skills having started as an assistant at Del Rey and worked my way to Associate Editor. Honestly, I would be happy to have the job I had at Del Rey when I first started for the rest of my career.

 

Time is a funny thing. I remember things I did and then figure out that was over twenty years ago or thirty years ago or forty years ago. Forty years ago, I was stage managing my way around Atlanta and applying to go to the Yale School of Drama. It seems so long ago but also such a short time.

 

Having things happen on certain days gives me a sense of time but on those days. When I am on my own time, I can get confused. Thus, the use of a wall calendar and my handy electronics.

 

I am grateful for times past and present.