One Big Happy Geek Family?
On one of the many lists I belong to which I am almost keeping up with when I am knee deep in fabric (Yeah, it is down from hip deep thank you. I did get the coat down to the hand sewing now I have a vest and a pair of boots to make today) had an interesting link to an essay about Geek Society and the fallacies held within the society by some and tolerated by others. 5 Geek Social Fallacies
After reading the essay I have to say that I can't think of a group I have belong to over the years that haven't had a few individuals to an entire group who believed these firmly. There are even a couple that I was once guilty of but I realized that I had unrealistic expectations so I changed my thinking on those.
For those who don't have time to read the essay at this point, it boils down to this
Geek Social Fallacy #1: Ostracizers Are Evil (Even if we have someone who is being a total jerk, we must accept them)
Geek Social Fallacy #2: Friends Accept Me As I (and anyone who says a harsh word or gives me advise I don't like is not my friend)
Geek Social Fallacy #3: Friendship Before All (Including Family and Work)
Geek Social Fallacy #4: Friendship Is Transitive (All my friends must be friends with each other even if they don't get along)
Geek Social Fallacy #5: Friends Do Everything Together (The Whole group or no body gets to have fun)
I am sure you can think of people you know in your various social circles who have shown these sorts of behaviors. Heck, I have seen this kind of stuff at just about every job I have worked that had more than two people in it. Most of these are the best of intentions on the part of the participants but like any one bad apple (or over zealous individual) can ruin the entire group to the point where the group will dissolve rather than to have to deal with the apple again.
Friendship is great. I love my friends very much. They have helped me through some rather rotten times in my life and have been there for the good times too. But I know I have groups of people I have developed friendships with over the years that the only thing they have in common is that they know me and I am not that fabulous to form a friendship over. I also know that not all my friends are going to be friends with each other even within the same context (say SciFi Convention goers). And at this point of my life, my family does come first, which my friends accept since many of them are in the same boat. My friends have been the best about pointing out where I could use some work or where I am not thinking clearly about something (Oh boy have they every stopped me from making some real boner decisions). I listen to my friends because I know they have my welfare at heart. I have cut off people that I thought were friends but turned into odd energy eating parasites who sucked me dry. My tolerance for faux drama has reduced over the years. I know not everyone on the planet is going to be my friend. But I try to be polite to everyone that I meet since they are human beings too.
I am grateful for all my friends over the years.
After reading the essay I have to say that I can't think of a group I have belong to over the years that haven't had a few individuals to an entire group who believed these firmly. There are even a couple that I was once guilty of but I realized that I had unrealistic expectations so I changed my thinking on those.
For those who don't have time to read the essay at this point, it boils down to this
Geek Social Fallacy #1: Ostracizers Are Evil (Even if we have someone who is being a total jerk, we must accept them)
Geek Social Fallacy #2: Friends Accept Me As I (and anyone who says a harsh word or gives me advise I don't like is not my friend)
Geek Social Fallacy #3: Friendship Before All (Including Family and Work)
Geek Social Fallacy #4: Friendship Is Transitive (All my friends must be friends with each other even if they don't get along)
Geek Social Fallacy #5: Friends Do Everything Together (The Whole group or no body gets to have fun)
I am sure you can think of people you know in your various social circles who have shown these sorts of behaviors. Heck, I have seen this kind of stuff at just about every job I have worked that had more than two people in it. Most of these are the best of intentions on the part of the participants but like any one bad apple (or over zealous individual) can ruin the entire group to the point where the group will dissolve rather than to have to deal with the apple again.
Friendship is great. I love my friends very much. They have helped me through some rather rotten times in my life and have been there for the good times too. But I know I have groups of people I have developed friendships with over the years that the only thing they have in common is that they know me and I am not that fabulous to form a friendship over. I also know that not all my friends are going to be friends with each other even within the same context (say SciFi Convention goers). And at this point of my life, my family does come first, which my friends accept since many of them are in the same boat. My friends have been the best about pointing out where I could use some work or where I am not thinking clearly about something (Oh boy have they every stopped me from making some real boner decisions). I listen to my friends because I know they have my welfare at heart. I have cut off people that I thought were friends but turned into odd energy eating parasites who sucked me dry. My tolerance for faux drama has reduced over the years. I know not everyone on the planet is going to be my friend. But I try to be polite to everyone that I meet since they are human beings too.
I am grateful for all my friends over the years.