puppetmaker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
puppetmaker) wrote2019-01-03 10:03 am
puppetmaker) wrote2019-01-03 10:03 am
You are not Them nor are They You
This is going to be another entry talking about Depression, Imposter Syndrome and the grass is always greener.
So I am putting it behind a cut and warning for the above topics being talked about frankly.
This is one of those entries that came out of a number of things that I have been reading and appeared on my social media reading.
Since it is the beginning of the year, there are lots of articles floating about on ‘how to become the most authentic you this year’ or ‘seven things to do to make yourself happier’. The list goes on and on. Most of it having to do with self-discovery and how to keep your resolutions for the best you.
The other set of articles have to do with self-care and social media. There were several on teens, social media, and depression. Apparently our generation was happier without the Internet but I would be hard pressed to believe that because according to the papers and magazines of the time, we were the most depressed generation.
There was one article that was based on a psychology paper talking about the contrast of what we present to the world on social media and the reality of our lives that we don’t talk about in public. This sort of social interaction happened before the advent of the Internet. There was your public face and your private face. What happened behind close doors unless it spilled into gossip or the papers, stayed there. Consider the number of times that people have split up and, from the outside, it looked like the perfect marriage but the conflicts within did not come out until afterward. (Side-note because I know a couple of readers here are going to be panicking that something is going on at Casa David. We are fine. Peter and I are still crazy in love with each other. Not saying there aren’t things going on that we are not talking about but none of it changes how we feel about each other. And we have a plan on how we are going to go forward from here.)
We show our best face on social media. We talk excitedly about the amazing things in our lives. We show off our pets, children, and adventures. There is this unwritten rule of showing the positive. One study said that we are scared that if we talk about the bad things and what we are worried about, we will be seen as a downer and will ‘lose’ friends for being negative. We don’t want people seeing that we have posted something and they roll their eyes and say ‘what happened now?’
I have talked about Imposter Syndrome before and how it has affected me. I have also talked about that over time I feel more comfortable with what I do and can see how I have inspired others which is a good feeling. I know what I can do and what I can do very well. But that feeling was very hard fought for within me.
I had a friend I was talking to about how they post all these incredible adventures they have all over the world. What they have kept close to the vest is an illness they are struggling with on a daily basis. Not my story to tell but they recognize that they put the positive forward even days they aren’t feeling that positive because, in their mind, that is what people expect off them.
I have had a number of people ask me when did I start putting something I am grateful for every entry. It has been years now. I read an article that said doing something like that can help with depression because at least you can think of a positive in your life. Sometimes it is something that has to do with what I am writing about and sometimes it is totally random. Some days it is easy and other days it feels like I am pulling teeth to find a positive in my life.
Each person on this planet is unique. Each has their point of view about the world and their lives. What works for one is not going to work for someone else.
In my writing I figure if I can help one person with what I say, then I have done well. If I can make someone think about something, I have done well. If something I do to keep myself together, helps someone else figure out how to make their lives better, I have done well. I am tossing these out into the maelstrom of the Internet in hopes that they do good not harm.
I am grateful when I get input from others.
So I am putting it behind a cut and warning for the above topics being talked about frankly.
This is one of those entries that came out of a number of things that I have been reading and appeared on my social media reading.
Since it is the beginning of the year, there are lots of articles floating about on ‘how to become the most authentic you this year’ or ‘seven things to do to make yourself happier’. The list goes on and on. Most of it having to do with self-discovery and how to keep your resolutions for the best you.
The other set of articles have to do with self-care and social media. There were several on teens, social media, and depression. Apparently our generation was happier without the Internet but I would be hard pressed to believe that because according to the papers and magazines of the time, we were the most depressed generation.
There was one article that was based on a psychology paper talking about the contrast of what we present to the world on social media and the reality of our lives that we don’t talk about in public. This sort of social interaction happened before the advent of the Internet. There was your public face and your private face. What happened behind close doors unless it spilled into gossip or the papers, stayed there. Consider the number of times that people have split up and, from the outside, it looked like the perfect marriage but the conflicts within did not come out until afterward. (Side-note because I know a couple of readers here are going to be panicking that something is going on at Casa David. We are fine. Peter and I are still crazy in love with each other. Not saying there aren’t things going on that we are not talking about but none of it changes how we feel about each other. And we have a plan on how we are going to go forward from here.)
We show our best face on social media. We talk excitedly about the amazing things in our lives. We show off our pets, children, and adventures. There is this unwritten rule of showing the positive. One study said that we are scared that if we talk about the bad things and what we are worried about, we will be seen as a downer and will ‘lose’ friends for being negative. We don’t want people seeing that we have posted something and they roll their eyes and say ‘what happened now?’
I have talked about Imposter Syndrome before and how it has affected me. I have also talked about that over time I feel more comfortable with what I do and can see how I have inspired others which is a good feeling. I know what I can do and what I can do very well. But that feeling was very hard fought for within me.
I had a friend I was talking to about how they post all these incredible adventures they have all over the world. What they have kept close to the vest is an illness they are struggling with on a daily basis. Not my story to tell but they recognize that they put the positive forward even days they aren’t feeling that positive because, in their mind, that is what people expect off them.
I have had a number of people ask me when did I start putting something I am grateful for every entry. It has been years now. I read an article that said doing something like that can help with depression because at least you can think of a positive in your life. Sometimes it is something that has to do with what I am writing about and sometimes it is totally random. Some days it is easy and other days it feels like I am pulling teeth to find a positive in my life.
Each person on this planet is unique. Each has their point of view about the world and their lives. What works for one is not going to work for someone else.
In my writing I figure if I can help one person with what I say, then I have done well. If I can make someone think about something, I have done well. If something I do to keep myself together, helps someone else figure out how to make their lives better, I have done well. I am tossing these out into the maelstrom of the Internet in hopes that they do good not harm.
I am grateful when I get input from others.