puppetmaker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
puppetmaker) wrote2016-09-22 10:06 am
puppetmaker) wrote2016-09-22 10:06 am
Me Time is My Time
I have talked about previously in this web journal about that self-care is not selfish. This is sort of a continuation of that.
We talk about as one gets older, one gains wisdom and knowledge. We learn things about ourselves and others that we really wish we had known earlier in life. I wish I could go back and tell myself to use gloves when playing with acetone and other chemicals that can be absorbed directly through the skin and over time effect the liver. That and exercise is really good for my brain when I am depressed.
One thing that I learned after Peter’s stroke through a caregiver online group I belong to was that taking a moment for me was not a selfish act and there would be times that I would have to put myself before others. It was a hard lesson to learn. My instinct was to make sure everyone else was taken care of before I even looked at what was going on with me.
And it can be something as simple as taking a few deep breaths and five minutes to reset the brain for a bit. Taking that five minutes allows me to really be there for everyone else when they need me. Studies have found that productive goes up if you meditate for as little as 5 minutes. I reground myself and work on clearing the noise from my head.
Something else I learned but it took me a long time to understand came out of an acting class I took back at Yale. The instructor was talking about being in the ‘now’. Not worrying what the next line or piece of blocking was but to focus on the moment that we were in. Later I discovered that this was also called Mindfulness where you just stop and take in where you are right now and all that is around you.
Being body aware is something that I have always done but didn’t really have the vocabulary for what I was doing until I took an acting class. I can feel the tension in my body. Still working on how to relieve it but I am getting better about that. I know when I feel ‘normal’ and when I feel ‘off’. The normal has reset a couple of times as my body has decided that I will deal with it on its terms. I can feel the slight tremor that has become pretty much part of my daily life. It becomes much more pronounced after I exercise and when I am very stressed. I can tell after my morning self check how the beginning of the day is going to go and how careful I have to be to pick things up.
Another lesson I learned the hard way and wish I could tell my younger self is simply this, “Ask yourself honestly: What is the best you can do given the situation? Then do that.” This year I realized that I was not going to be able to get the puppet slam piece done on time so I told those who needed to know that I was bowing out this year and gave them enough time to figure out what to do with my slot. I felt bad because I didn’t get to work with my usual crew and entertain the audience. But it turned out to be a good thing since I had a mild case of food poisoning that day so it wouldn’t have happened anyway. I use to really worry about that sort of thing and feeling like a failure if I couldn’t get all this stuff done that I wanted to do or told people I was going to get done. Somewhere along the way I learned to forgive myself and realize that I am only human. That was a hard lesson to learn.
I was reading an article that said we really need to get the ‘shoulds’ out of our lives. Or as Yoda so succinctly said, “Do or Do not. There is no try.” You can drive yourself around the bend with all the shoulds in your life. I should learn this or I should read that. Make a decision and saying ‘no’ is not a bad thing. We need the ‘no’s’ to keep from being overwhelmed. I tell people when I ask them for a favor or have a request that ‘no’ is an acceptable answer and I will not be mad or upset if that is the way it has to be. Some people find it weird and others thank me for taking the pressure off of them. We need to learn that No is not a dirty word.
Today I have a list of things I need to get done along with a couple that I want to get done. I will do what I can and with luck I can go bowling this evening.
I am grateful for everything I have learned over the years about myself the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.
We talk about as one gets older, one gains wisdom and knowledge. We learn things about ourselves and others that we really wish we had known earlier in life. I wish I could go back and tell myself to use gloves when playing with acetone and other chemicals that can be absorbed directly through the skin and over time effect the liver. That and exercise is really good for my brain when I am depressed.
One thing that I learned after Peter’s stroke through a caregiver online group I belong to was that taking a moment for me was not a selfish act and there would be times that I would have to put myself before others. It was a hard lesson to learn. My instinct was to make sure everyone else was taken care of before I even looked at what was going on with me.
And it can be something as simple as taking a few deep breaths and five minutes to reset the brain for a bit. Taking that five minutes allows me to really be there for everyone else when they need me. Studies have found that productive goes up if you meditate for as little as 5 minutes. I reground myself and work on clearing the noise from my head.
Something else I learned but it took me a long time to understand came out of an acting class I took back at Yale. The instructor was talking about being in the ‘now’. Not worrying what the next line or piece of blocking was but to focus on the moment that we were in. Later I discovered that this was also called Mindfulness where you just stop and take in where you are right now and all that is around you.
Being body aware is something that I have always done but didn’t really have the vocabulary for what I was doing until I took an acting class. I can feel the tension in my body. Still working on how to relieve it but I am getting better about that. I know when I feel ‘normal’ and when I feel ‘off’. The normal has reset a couple of times as my body has decided that I will deal with it on its terms. I can feel the slight tremor that has become pretty much part of my daily life. It becomes much more pronounced after I exercise and when I am very stressed. I can tell after my morning self check how the beginning of the day is going to go and how careful I have to be to pick things up.
Another lesson I learned the hard way and wish I could tell my younger self is simply this, “Ask yourself honestly: What is the best you can do given the situation? Then do that.” This year I realized that I was not going to be able to get the puppet slam piece done on time so I told those who needed to know that I was bowing out this year and gave them enough time to figure out what to do with my slot. I felt bad because I didn’t get to work with my usual crew and entertain the audience. But it turned out to be a good thing since I had a mild case of food poisoning that day so it wouldn’t have happened anyway. I use to really worry about that sort of thing and feeling like a failure if I couldn’t get all this stuff done that I wanted to do or told people I was going to get done. Somewhere along the way I learned to forgive myself and realize that I am only human. That was a hard lesson to learn.
I was reading an article that said we really need to get the ‘shoulds’ out of our lives. Or as Yoda so succinctly said, “Do or Do not. There is no try.” You can drive yourself around the bend with all the shoulds in your life. I should learn this or I should read that. Make a decision and saying ‘no’ is not a bad thing. We need the ‘no’s’ to keep from being overwhelmed. I tell people when I ask them for a favor or have a request that ‘no’ is an acceptable answer and I will not be mad or upset if that is the way it has to be. Some people find it weird and others thank me for taking the pressure off of them. We need to learn that No is not a dirty word.
Today I have a list of things I need to get done along with a couple that I want to get done. I will do what I can and with luck I can go bowling this evening.
I am grateful for everything I have learned over the years about myself the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.