http://dmousey.livejournal.com/ (
dmousey.livejournal.com
) wrote
in
puppetmaker
2014-07-28 01:37 am (UTC)
no subject
Thank you for letting us into your world!
A few persnikity things, third paragraph, I think your missing a 'from' or 'in' after Chekhov's gun.
The paragraph where you're talking about hero changing to villian, you need to change when to went.
Other than that I appreciate this greatly! :)
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no subject
A few persnikity things, third paragraph, I think your missing a 'from' or 'in' after Chekhov's gun.
The paragraph where you're talking about hero changing to villian, you need to change when to went.
Other than that I appreciate this greatly! :)