puppetmaker: (Caroline and me)
Two beautiful things at the same time.

I cleared out the way to the run off drain both in the backyard and on the street to allow for the melted snow or, as we call it, water to drain properly. Our driveway and sidewalk are clear and dry. Overall the impact of the storm was Friday morning and it was a big impact at the time, now it is just kind of pretty. I know that things are worse west of the city and that we were lucky that we just caught the edge of the storm.

Today we are off to Ariel’s college concert. We have a few things to do before that but that will be the bulk of the day.

Today’s New York Times magazine has a fascinating article on depression and some possible reasons that it is so prevalent in society today. I highly recommend it with the usual warnings that it might be trigger something so if this topic is not something you care to read about, I would avoid it. However it does bring some interesting ideas to the table. Here is the link to Depression’s Upside. Do feel free to discuss it in comments.

I am sure that most of you has heard about either Andrew Koenig or Alexander McQueen or Michael Blosil (Maria Osmond’s son). All three were treated off and on for depression and all three committed the ultimate act and killed themselves leaving their family and friends with a lot of questions. My sympathies are with all the family and friends of these men.

I understand that pit of despair that people can find themselves in. I have said before that I have suffered from depression in the past and even tried to kill myself. I was fortunate that I didn’t succeed as much as I wanted to at the time. Because I didn’t, I can sit here and watch my little girl play with her dragons and have an adventure unfold in front of me. Because I didn’t, I have been able to do things and make friends with people that I admired for years. Because I didn’t, I was able to help other people with problems so they didn’t try to do what I tried. Because I didn’t, I can be here for my husband.

Depression is more that not being able to cheer up. We all have sad times in our lives because that is part of life. But there are times that it does become too much and one can find themselves in a very deep pit with, what seems, no way out. And that is dangerous over time. It does affect those around you. It does affect your “quality of life” (I do sooo hate that phrase but it is one of the current buzz phrases so I use it). Sometimes it works itself out and sometimes one needs help to see the upside to things before the downside is all that they see.

Considering all that has happened recently, including some stuff that is rather personal, I have decided to be more open about my depression and my suicide attempts in hopes that my speaking out that in the long term it does get better and you never know what around the next corner will help others to get to that corner and not take themselves off the gameboard.

So read the article and let’s have some discussion here about it. The usual rules of politeness and civility will be in place.

I am grateful that I didn’t succeed in my plans to end my life.

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July 2017

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