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This weekend was a quiet weekend at home with a visit to a local convention. Caroline had an active social life with her friends. Visit to the gym and other weekend activities were achieved.

This week is a little more complicated with Caroline’s 8th grade trip, Peter’s obligations, and various other things that need attention.

We have some conventions coming up that need to be sorted out.

But right now I would say that it is a bit of a pause that gives me some time to write down the order of next then start down the list.

A lot going on in my head but that’s my problem that I have to work through.

Spring has sprung and the trees are at that odd shade of new green.

I am going to walk to the gym today then deal with some stuff around the house.

I am grateful for forward movement in life.
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This is the 47th Earth Day and the shape of our planet is both better and worse than it was on the first one.

I like our planet. It’s a good planet. I was taught from the time I was a child that I had to help my planet by doing things that would reduce the amount of abuse we heap upon this planet.

My parents were recycling before recycling was cool. It is easier for Caroline than it was for me. As a society we recognize that we have to do something even if it is a little thing to help sustain the planet we live on. Most trash cans in public areas now have a waste side and a recycling side.

Caroline’s school has installed water fountains that have a function where you can refill your water bottle rather than buying another one. I am seeing those more and more, which makes me happy. The one at her school has a counter of how many water bottles were saved by re-use.

Our village has banned plastic bags and seriously encouraged people to use re-usable bags by charging the customer for each paper bag that they use. Paper, unlike plastic, does degrade however, unless made of totally recycled materials, the bags are made of trees. So it is a balance.

Our local YMCA has replaced paper towels with small cloth towels for wiping down the machines. Again saving trees but each towel has to be laundered using electricity and water so it is a trade off.

And that is true of most of what we can do for the planet. Light bulbs that last longer so we have less in our landfills. Composting what we can, which we need a permit from the village to do. I used tote bags we get at conventions and the like to carry things that I buy rather than having another plastic bag in the house. We plant trees to replace the ones that we have lost. We plant flowers that bees like to help the local population. Our library even has a seed bank. Our cat litter is bio-degradable.

We have one planet and we as a global community need to find ways to help it so it can sustain us. So on this day, hug a tree and promise to do what you can to make sure that the next generation has a planet to live on.

I am grateful for bags made of recycled materials like plastic.

Shaky Days

Apr. 21st, 2017 09:20 am
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I can usually tell by the time I get out of bed what sort of day my ability to grip something is. If I put my hands together and the tremor is severe then I know that things will be carefully picked up with two hands and typing is going to be a real PITA with lots of unexpected typos that will have to be corrected.

The past two mornings I knew it was not going to be my best day ever due to opening my eyes and my eyelids were vibrating which is more annoying than anything else.

I know that stress can make this worse and I will admit that we have been under a lot of it recently. We are so close to being able to put the IRS debt behind us and actually be on firm financial footing for the first time in our marriage. It’s that last amount that is a hard slog. I am sure you are tired of hearing about this but it is want is on my mind and this is my blog so I am writing about it.

I haven't been good company lately. I have been feeling like a total failure because I have three projects that I MUST GET MOVING FORWARD and not one has moved an iota from my mind to the physical realm. I have been thinking a lot but I need to get cracking on it.

Spring has come to Long Island. The trees are budding and the landscape is taking that shade of green that only Spring can bring. I am hoping we are not going to just jump into summer temperatures within the next week giving us some time to enjoy this weather.

I am going to try to work out what’s next and hope that I can get things done in a more timely fashion. I have a number of countdowns/ticking clocks that need to be addressed.

I have tried being nice to myself but I think at this point I am just going to have to kick myself into motion and do rather than feel. Done this before and can do it again.

I am grateful for things that don’t break when I drop them except when the bowling ball goes into the gutter because my hand spasm cost me my grip. Don’t feel particularly grateful for that at all.
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The rest of the convention was pretty much like the beginning of the convention. We had fun and spent some time with friends old and new. The trip back was not a bad one over all. A little bit of waiting but they made up the time in the air.

I know I said I would do a New Who Review for The Pilot and the first episode of Class, which I will do before the next episodes air on Saturday.

Yesterday was a lot of sorting things out from travel along with the Go Fund Me that we can still use help on and some other irons we have in the fire. We are closer to getting this monkey off our backs then we have been our entire marriage. So continue to think good thoughts and spread the word.

We are working on the Patreon idea and figuring out what we can do to make it interesting for people. I need to sit down with the ideas we have so far and figure out what we might be able to do to make people want to support us and our work. I am wondering if offering actual puppets as part of it might entice people to join.

I need to get back into my gym routine but not today due to my right knee being in pain because of the airplane, some gum, and someone who wanted their seat in my lap. Tomorrow I will get back into my usual routine and go from there.

It is taking me some time to work my way back from the chaos of the past couple of week for a variety of reasons including my (lack of) mental health. I realized the other day that I need to do some things for me to get myself back in order so I can help my family.

I am grateful for people who gave us suggestions on how to get out of this mess.
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Today is my eldest step-daughter’s birthday and I hope she is having a good day.

She and her husband have built their movie theater, Sun Ray Cinema in Jacksonville, from the ground up.

She is a lovely singer and talented piano teacher.

She has a wicked sense of humor.

Caroline adores her and she adores Caroline.

She gave Caroline her first job so Caroline has something to put on her resume.

I am grateful for Shana in my life.
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But first, a Blessed Easter to all who celebrate it.

Yesterday found me on a few more panels than I was going to original join in but they were fun and I think the audience had fun too. Today is my Sherlock: Fire All Can(n)ons panel about Sherlock and the Media as a whole stretching back to when the stories were written.

Interestingly enough the topic I have been talking about the most is the state of publishing and how it effects both the big publishing houses and the little press and the self-published or whatever we are call it this week. I have been giving advice to people about the topic pretty much the whole weekend. Some stuff I said on a panel got them to thinking about various things that they have been running by me since.

Last night we viewed the new episode of Doctor Who with a bunch of other fans. I will have a New Who Review up later this week. Short version, really like Bill. Glad Nardole is still around. Interesting episode over all. Thumbs up. I will be reviewing Class as well.

My one minor complaint that is not just about this convention but a trend I am seeing at larger conventions. The convention has two hazards. One is the over sized objects people are carrying around and don't seem to be aware of where they are. The second is a new trend of walking along with your 'soundtrack ' blaring. Not everyone wants to hear it. It is nice that we have gotten speakers down to such a small size but if you really need to hear your ‘theme song’ to get into character, there are lots of small ear buds and ear phones you can use to hear it.

I am grateful for this lovely day.
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Why this is a retro version of the Florida SuperCon is that they are back to their original venue, which is not large enough for the full convention but it is a nice size convention.

The staff has gone above and beyond. They have been right there to solve any issues swiftly. Everyone is polite and helpful. I take comfort in knowing that the convention is well run from the handlers to the volunteers.

Yesterday was a bit of a light day so Caroline had a chance to talk to Zach Callison who is a young voice actor probably best know for voicing Steven Universe unless the kids are younger then they would know him as the voice of Prince James from Sophia the first. Gigi Edgely saw us and came over to give us a hug and catch up on life. She and Caroline had a nice conversation on drawing and the influences on the artist.

We had people at the table. Caroline hasn’t sold any of her amazing drawing yet. Yesterday seemed a bit lightly attended and a lot of people were ‘window’ shopping. With good luck, it will be better today.

The wrestling component is a big part of this convention including a ring set up for matches all during the day. Everyone had a lot of fun. You could tell when a match was going because we could hear the slam into the mat and the cheers or boos of the crowd.

With the exception of the non-working AC in the hotel room, which is a building problem not a room problem and they have been working on it, it has been a very pleasant convention.

Onto Day 2 and the premier of this season of Doctor Who and the first episode of Class or maybe a ball game. Right now the dice are in the air and we will have to see how it lands.

I am grateful for staffs that are firm but polite.
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Getting in the day before a convention starts is a lovely thing if you have the time to do it. That way you can slide into rather than rush and feel like you are never going to catch up.

Our flight down was pretty much textbook so I am crossing my fingers that the return will be the same. Peter and Caroline were cleared with TSA and I was not so our wait and experience was a little different including that they got to keep their shoes on and I had to take mine off. Also my bag was searched. I had some cinnamon bread in it for Caroline for breakfast today. Apparently that object trigger the search. The plus that came out of it was that I told the TSA agent where Mastori’s was and how good their cinnamon bread is.

Getting to the hotel was a little bit of an adventure and our first Uber driver who did very well getting us there with all our luggage which was three suitcases and two bags per person. They told us for the ride back to inform them we had a lot of luggage.

Once at the hotel we watched Supernatural, Riverdale and the Blacklist redemption then went to sleep.

Today is the beginning of the convention. We had the morning to wakeup on our own power and get ready for the day ahead.

I am grateful for TSA agents with a sense of humor.
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I had an entry for Monday but our wi-fi provider, who keeps insisting that we have real wi-fi when in fact we have next to none, killed the Internet in our area for ‘repair’. Now that it is ‘repaired’, we are even slower than we were before the ‘repair’. Not very happy with our lack of Internet provider.

The salient points from Monday were the following.

This week is Caroline’s Spring Break along with Passover and Easter. We attended a Seder on Monday evening with family. The end of the week will find us in Miami at the Super Retro Con and for a change I will be participating in a panel or two at a convention outside the usual conventions.

This week is about getting from point A to point B then regroup and do it again. Peter just got back from the Philly Convention so he is doing this dance for another week.

Sunday I got a number of bits and pieces on projects done. I was hoping to make today another day of finishing projects because I want to get my table clear before I start on the next one but due to circumstances this is looking less likely.

The Go Fund Me page is slowing down and we are still not quite at our goal to save our ass(ets). We appreciate all the help we have been given so far and like I said before we are never going to be able to thank you enough.

My mind will probably be in travel mode for most of the week. Think good thoughts for us as we travel up and down the East Coast.

I will try to update this week. I know I have been quiet but I felt like I was being such a downer recently since I have been in the dumps. Then I was talking to a friend who said that hearing that I was struggling a bit with my feelings helped them sort out what was going on with them. I made a decision that I will be a public voice for all the people who can’t talk about their depression because it might cost them their job or their children or their life.

Four years ago I posted a entry entitled Suicide is not painless talking about what would not have happened in my life if I had succeeded in graduate school to kill myself. In those four years I have added a lot of adventures and experiences that I would have never had if I had succeeded. So remember that suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminated the possibility of it ever getting better. And if I can help one person with that message then I have done well.

Today is about getting ready for ready for travel tomorrow. Cat/House sitter is in place. But I have cat boxes to deal with and laundry from the past two weeks but I have Caroline’s help in this. Then packing and making sure we have everything we need like Sunscreen and swimsuits and passports and, well the list goes on.

I am still grateful for everyone who has helped us in our time of crises.
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Since we put out what has been a thorn in our side for 20 years.

People have given us hope that we might be able to get this monkey off our backs.

I don’t think Thank You covers the feeling of gratitude I have for everyone who has helped us.

We do feel the love and support coming from the Internet and appreciate it and humbled by it.

Yes, there are those who have decided to be mean about it and crow over the situation, but they are in the minority. This included someone making a parody go fund me page and twitter account, which seems to have been erased off the face of the Internet.

We choose to focus on all the folks that have helped us. The information we are getting to help this situation. The outpouring of how important Peter and his work has been to their lives. Writing is a lonely profession. Most of it happens in front of a computer screen and you hope that you can entertain and, sometimes, enlighten. Seeing that his work has made people’s lives better in ways that we never imagined is rather amazing.

And we are so close to getting this behind us. We can see the finish line now we just have to get to it and with your continued help, we will.

I will admit to being depressed recently. Stress long term is hard on the body and I have been stressed to the nth. I am hoping that my lack of enthusiasm about any creative is related to this and I will be able to break out of it soon. A friend suggest that I just start working on something and go from there so I think this weekend is going to be just that.

I am so very grateful to everyone who has helped us in our time of crises.
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Apparently I have used this title before so I really do feel out of ideas. With shaky finger syndrome and autocorrect, I am getting some interesting spelling of various words, which are not the words I want to type.

I got nothing done this past week at all with the exception of some work on my novel and that wasn’t very much. First half of the week was recovering from the bout of flu and the second half is pretty much out there for all to see.

I have puppets looking at me and I know the clock is ticking on them.

I have ideas for things I want to do for DragonCon this year.

And my table is empty with a bunch of things that need to be sorted out before the next project in a pile behind it.

I am drained to the nth degree.

I know what is going on but I am having trouble working my way back right now.

Now I have no idea when I can post this as our Internet is out again.

Yeah, Kath is down in the dungeon again and trying to work her way back to the tower where she can breath. And I feel like I am letting people down especially those who are waiting for me to finish stuff. I have a feeling once I get started on something I will be able to get myself back to level at least.

I am grateful for anything that helps me get out of this depression.
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Yes, I have been quiet recently and I really don’t know if I am going to start consistently posting again but I am still here.

For those of you who follow Peter, you know what is going on and has been going on for about 20 years now. Our friends and Peter’s fans who are joining my list of people I would call friend have been helping us to be able to pay the tax burden that has come due. I am humbled by the outpouring of love and help that has come our direction and will never be able to pay back all this good will. I will try to pay it forward for the rest of my life.

Caroline is back at her usual school pattern with the usual after school activities. She is feeling much better and the cough is not bothering her anymore. I am slowing getting back to normal and feel like I can breath again with having to pause for coughing fits. We all went to the gym yesterday and feel much better getting some serious exercise in.

Today is cleaning up after the wind storm that knocked stuff everywhere in the back and front since today is going to feel like Spring again.

Tomorrow will be what it will be.

Personally I am a little numb after all that went down over the weekend.

My ability to write is not great right now and I am trying to figure out why.

I am grateful to everyone who has helped us.
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I will tentatively say that I am on the mend. My head is not clear but clearer. I am still coughing but the severity is less along with frequency so I have a chance to catch my breath. And I feel awake this morning not like I forced my eye lids to open and my body to move. So tentative Yea!

Caroline was doing a lot better this morning and didn’t sound like she had a frog in her throat so I think she has turned the corner too.

Now I need to catch up on all the things I didn’t do last week and couldn’t do at the beginning of this week like laundry. I have a lot of laundry to do and it needs to be done today so Caroline has gym clothes for tomorrow. I have a little more leeway on that.

And puppets, I have got to get back to the critters. They are looking at me accusingly.

I have my schedule for LunaCon, which has a number of panels and should be fun.

We are seeing the sun for the first time in about a week. Hope that it brings some warmth with it.

I also know that I should not totally push too hard because I have friends who have suffered through this and found themselves right back in bed with the flu.

It’s what is called a balancing act.

I am grateful for my kidneys.
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Having taken my morning medication so I can breath again through my nose without coughing up a lung, I find that my head is not as clear as I would like thus Fuzzy Brain like my head is full of cotton wool.

Last week was an interesting exercise in remembering how to do something correctly and convincing other people that I knew what I was doing. Everyone had a different way of doing sound. I was building it to my strengths and so we didn’t blow the audience out of their seats and they could hear the kids which apparently didn’t work for some people who might have hearing limitations so it was a bit of push me pull you until we got something that worked for everyone.

After finishing the show my body decided that the flu was next on my agenda. The past two days have been about surviving that.

Today I have to sort out my time between now and LunaCon. Since I haven’t shown there in a while, I do have sets of puppets that I can use. I might want to make one or two new things that will also go for DragonCon as well.

I have a clever idea for DragonCon this year but we’ll see.

Right now I just need to get my brain back into gear and out of the fuzzy zone.

I am grateful for each minute I am not coughing up a lung.

Sick Day

Mar. 27th, 2017 10:16 am
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Caroline is currently occupying the longer of the two couches. She is sound asleep. This past week was not kind to her. Friday she had to get a nosebleed cauterized after two days of nosebleeds that would last over an hour. She sucked it up and did her show that night. She had been coughing. Saturday she had two cavities filled. Sunday it sounded like she was going to cough up a lung. This morning Peter made the decision that Caroline was staying home due to her health and she had basically been asleep on the couch since.

Why did Peter get up with Caroline? Because I have the flu in all its glory. Yesterday was a lovely day with GI problems, fever, muscle cramps, cough, and other unpleasantness. After lunch I went upstairs and slept the rest of the day away except for a few trips to the loo. This morning I am feeling a little better but still totally wiped from yesterday. I have been informed by others not to push it or I will find myself back in my sickbed for longer.

So this is a lost day or rather a recovery day for us. Not much going to get done except letting our bodies heal.

I am grateful for things that allow us to recover including sleep.
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Or rather my lungs right now seem to want to come up my windpipe. I started this cough a couple of days ago and suppressed it with cough meds and drops so I could run the show. Last night was a bit of a challenge but I made it through to awake with a pounding head and a cough that just won’t quit.

My brackets are broken beyond repair. A number of interesting games in the tourney but the only team I have left is North Carolina. I would find it amusing if North Caroline plays South Caroline because of 1776.

Baseball starts soon. The preseason games have been interesting enough but it’s time to really play baseball.

I feel like a run down battery. I have no strength today.

In the women’s tourney, I think that an UConn vs. Notre Dame game would be an interesting one for the final 4. UConn is probably going to go all the way yet again.

Caroline and I had fun working on Footloose together. I was surprised that I got called out for special thanks for running the sound board.

Yes, I have seen the new Justice League trailer. Apparently November is turning into are you a Marvel Fan or a DC Fan since Thor: Ragnarok and Justice League both open in November. Looking forward to Wonder Woman and Aquaman. And of course Guardians vol. 2.

There are a lot of cars on our street today. I don’t think we have a parade or arts festival in the village. The fun run was last weekend and we aren’t to Memorial Day yet. So I guess it is someone’s birthday or other form of family celebration.

We were thinking of going to see Kong but I don’t think we are up for it. I am thinking more put on Fantastic Beasts and kick back kind of day.

I am very tired of coughing to the point that my ribs hurt. It is possible to pull a muscle coughing which makes it that much harder. I am also tired of the taste of menthol in my mouth from all the cough drops I am sucking on.

Quiet day at home is in order. Caroline declared it a jammie day so she is going to be wearing her PJs all day.

Inky and Fig, our cats, have given up the pretense that they don’t get along. They have been curling up with each other to sleep. There is still some cat fighting but over all they have gotten to be friends.

I see a cup of hot tea in my very near future.

I have the last of the War Doctor audio plays. It was one of the last things that John Hurt recorded. It is very good but I am going to be sad when I get to the end of it because that will be the end of the War Doctor as played by John Hurt.

I’m not much for grammar today.

And it is apparent someone is moving today from the house that is really a series of apartments.

At least Caroline is coughing less. She still has glitter in her hair from last night.

The WGA is informing their members that a strike might be in the offing over some rather complex but important issues like health care costs, digital streaming revenues, and how people are paid for the work they are doing. The SAG contract is up as of the end of June and currently is on strike against video game companies over compensation and working conditions for both vocal and motion capture actors. I still belong to Actor’s Equity so I do have a horse in this race too.

Peter was a good husband and went off to do the grocery shopping that had to be done today so I don’t have to cough my way through the store. I love him so much for so many reasons.

Off to make tea with a little honey in it. *cough cough*

I am grateful that Caroline and I got to do a show together.
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A number of months ago at a Parent’s Meeting for this year’s Middle School play, I said, “If you want, I’ll operate sound.”

This week, as they say, “The Bill comes due.”

Sound was one of my fall back jobs when I couldn’t find stage management work. I am good at it too. I have a good ear and very long fingers. There was one project I operated sound on that the designer made me swear that I would show up unless I was dead because the soundscape that she created could only be run by me. At that point she couldn’t figure out how I could get everything running and timing out perfectly. It’s a knack and I had it.

So I find myself behind a soundboard for the first time in a long time.

 photo 0B0DB86E-3888-4362-8581-69AFB1372AB3_zpsk9njnjqd.jpg
(For the VI: This is a soundboard with a script on the right half.)

Parts of the job are like riding a bike and other parts felt very rusty. So I have been spending the week getting to know the show and my board.

There was a first for me in all this. First time I put a wireless mic on my daughter.

 photo 1E701048-D429-4E12-97C2-6ED9FF03398D_zpsawcus0ni.jpg
(for the VI: This is a photo of Caroline in profile. She has a wireless microphone taped to her face. She is wearing a brown shirt and her brown hair is up in a bun)

We had our final dress on Thursday. This is my view of the show. My microphone plot is on the left and my script on the right. We had a couple of mics that had to be passed around a bit which made sound even more interesting.

 photo E56B6FB6-36DA-4691-BEE9-E9FBB597CC7F_zpsu4ncpzu7.jpg
(for the VI:the sound board with the mic tracking sheet on the left and script on the right. The kids are on stage in the far background)

After three months of work on the casts part and a week of work for me, we finally get to opening night.

 photo C0CD3FF6-57C5-4839-9808-71D8710DC014_zps6ihkuurj.jpg
(For the VI: This is a photo from the back of the room showing the stage with the red curtains closed.)

Curtain Call. Caroline is the blob to the far left.

 photo 1F837C88-C1E4-43F2-A162-4D56A1BAF46C_zpsycdjd3bq.jpg
(for the VI: This is the cast of Footloose on stage during the bows. They are dressed in either church clothes or prom wear.)

So we did it. We got through the opening night. We have two shows today and then Footloose will become a memory. I have to say that I am very proud of these children and the dedication they have shown to this show. Special shout out to my assistant Kevin who has been on top of things from the beginning so I know that if I tell him I need ‘x’ done, it will get done.

I am grateful I could share this experience with my daughter.
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I had a couple of topics that I worked out in my head at 3 AM but went to sleep and forgot what I was going to write. The one that stayed is something rather delicate so I decided to not write about that.

As one gets older, one starts to question what is going on in their brain every time they have an absent minded moment. We hear a lot about various brain problems later in life and wonder each time if we are sliding into Alzheimer’s or Dementia or some new form of our brain slipping away from us.

I can get distracted in my thoughts by something I see or hear and then I have to walk it back to remember why I went into the kitchen or whatever room I find myself in.

Right now my head is wrapped up in running sound for Footloose. We have some microphone problems that are being sorted out. I have a plan but now I need to revise it with the new data I received last night. This is where my head is going to be at for the next couple of days. I plan to take Sunday to reset and start up on things again on Monday.

I am not forgetting things as much as getting distracted by other things around me. Stress from various outside forces is not helping but I recognize that it exists and deal with it as I can.

My mind may not be as flexible as it was 30 years ago but it still works pretty doggone well. I still learn new things and retain what I have learned. I am still a good problem solver and the creative side is working just fine.

Still I have concerns about where my mind wanders to and where thoughts seem to vanish. I don’t think it is unhealthy to do so. I think it might be a bigger concern if I dismissed it out of hand.

I am grateful for thoughts that stick.
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Today is World Puppetry Day where we take a moment to recognize the art and whimsy of puppets.

Puppets are important to me for many reasons. I have made life long friendships because of puppets. I have had some interesting adventures due to the puppets. Caroline owes her existence to a Klingon Puppet that Peter bought in an Art Show oh so many years ago.

I have enjoyed seeing a lot of different kinds of puppets and puppet performances. I am always amazed that what people can do with puppets.

I also have a lot of fun building them. I like watching people’s faces when they see a puppet that they like. I enjoy playing around with people with the puppets.

And I am pretty good at creating these puppets. I found a niche that works for me and I play in that sandbox for the most part.

I really think my calling is educating people about puppets and puppetry. I have done panels on the history of puppets, building puppets, and so you want to build a puppet. I will always treasure my time at the Center for Puppetry Arts working in the museum and everything I learned there.

So celebrate the puppets today! Think about your favorite puppet performance you have ever seen. About your favorite puppets. About when you first discovered puppetry.

I am grateful for all the people I have met because of puppets.
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Yesterday I went to an artist’s brunch that a group of artists have been throwing for a while now. I joined the group last year. It is a big mix of people from all kinds of disciplines, which makes it even more interesting as we look and talk about each other’s work. Fired me up and got me to thinking about my art in a different way. I would publicly like to thank my gracious hosts for the lovely afternoon.

Today I am finishing up the sound paperwork for Footloose. I have my parameters and my script so I can see if I can sort out the puzzle of who gets a body mic when. That and we would like to get one monitor so that the kids can hear the music better. We have rehearsal this evening and every evening until we open on Friday.

Tomorrow will be the next thing on my list and so on and so forth until we get to Sunday where Footloose will be done and I can focus on other things like LunaCon and some private projects.

I am grateful for structure in its many forms.


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